Amiss
by cutflowers
Summary: AU. Miley's been in the Wish-gone-amiss verse for a year and a half now, and she's hitting rock bottom. But Angel's finally found a loophole that may bring Miley the one thing she needs to get back on her feet: Lilly.
1. Prologue: Half The Story

**Y'all, I just want to say that this is not my fault. They started it! This is based off of **_**When You Wish You Were The Star**_**, except that Jackson didn't make his wish at the end, so Miley stayed in the other reality. Because sometimes things happen that can't be undone, and a loophole isn't the same thing as a reset button.**

**This is technically gen, but as you may have guessed from the summary, there will be some subtext (about the level they put in the show), and the sequel will be Miley/Lilly.**

**Warning: Um, yeah. This story has language. Also, crack.**

**Disclaimer: Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! I mean...fair use, fair use, fair use! (Don't own. Not making money. And come on, Disney, you weren't using this verse anymore anyway.)**

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**Prologue: Half The Story**

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_For I've not seen you in the flesh for so long  
__That I'm not sure we would know each other at all  
We will lie under different stars  
I am where I am and you're where you are, you're where you are._

- Trespassers William, _Different Stars_

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**18 March 2008/11 October 2006**

From where Angel was standing in the wings to the stage, the people in the audience all blended together, forming one rolling, indistinguishable mass. The girl onstage fairly flew across it, spotlight bouncing off her blonde hair like a halo, a grin glued to her face. She sang like she'd never stop and the audience cheered her into a third encore, but the smile never touched her eyes. Her voice was raw and open as a wound, and Angel knew the only thing holding Miley up was the sheer screaming strength of her fans.

Well, Angel thought. That, and the tab and a half of ecstasy she'd popped before the concert started.

"Goodnight, everybody!" Miley yelled into her headset, the last beats of _Who Said_ still throbbing in the air. "I love you all!" She left the stage to thunderous applause and shouts of disappointment. She stumbled over a wire at the edge of the stage, but none of them noticed. They never did, too caught up in their own excitement.

Angel faded back into the shadows as Miley made her way backstage. It was better that way; Miley didn't like to see her. Miley tripped over another wire and couldn't right herself this time. She fell, landing heavily on her knees. She ripped the headset off and looked around, eyes glassy and blank. "I think I'm going to be sick," she said, to no one in particular.

No one seemed to hear her, people streaming by on either side of her without pausing, not even when Miley dropped to all fours, crawled the few steps to one of the back curtains, and started throwing up noisily.

Angel shook her head. This is _not_ why I got into this business, she thought.

"Now that is just_ sad_," said a voice from behind Angel. She turned slightly, taking in the two security guards lounging against the wall. Judging by his rueful expression, Angel thought the taller of the two had spoken, which he confirmed with his next words. "Poor girl's barely sixteen and look at her. It's a shame."

"Whatever," his companion muttered, looking decidedly less sympathetic. "Par for the course with this one. Only person I feel sorry for is the poor bastard who's gonna have to clean that up."

"Still," said the first one. He broke off when Miley retched again. Angel looked back at the girl and winced. Miley's hair had fallen forward, the ends of it dragging through the puddle of vomit. Angel resisted the urge to step forward and hold Miley's hair back for her; this conversation sounded more promising than anything she'd heard in months, though that wasn't saying much. She didn't want to do anything to interrupt it.

"Kid like her should be out having fun, hanging out with friends," the tall guard continued. "Not puking her guts out backstage alone."

"Shit," said the short one. "That's the price she's gotta pay for her fifteen minutes of fame. 'Sides, you're so concerned about her, why don't I see you over there helpin' her?" He pushed off the wall and sauntered away, the conversation clearly over as far as he was concerned.

"Yeah," said the tall one, straightening.

Come on, Angel thought. Give me something. Anything.

The tall guard spared Miley one last glance before he started off after his partner. "I just wish she could have fifteen minutes of happiness to go along with that fame."

Angel snapped her fingers and overhead a shooting star streaked through the night sky. _Done_. It wasn't perfect, not by any means, but it had been a year and a half and by this point Angel was desperate. She'd work with what she had.

Angel hurried forward and knelt beside Miley, reaching out to pull the girl's hair back and gather her up into a hug. Miley looked up at her, eyes struggling to focus.

"Angel?" she asked, pushing away once she recognized the woman. "I thought I told you not to come back anymore."

"Hush, child," Angel soothed. She tightened her hold on Miley. "I'm taking you home. Just for a little while, but I'm taking you home."

The next instant, they were gone.

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"I wish there was no secret, I was just Hannah Montana all the time," Miley said. "Sure would make life a whole lot easier."

Lilly laughed. "Hey, at least you get to be Hannah Montana _some_ of the time. That's more than anyone else – Miley?" There was nothing next to her but empty air. "Miley? Where'd you go?"

Lilly turned in a slow circle. She was alone on the balcony, the door to Miley's room was still closed and Lilly hadn't heard Miley open or shut it. Besides, Miley had been right next to her a second ago. It was like she'd just...disappeared.

"Miley?" Lilly called again. No answer. Don't panic, Lilly told herself, trying to ignore the cold ball of fear settling in the pit of her stomach. She crossed the balcony and pulled open the door, sticking her head inside. "Miley? Miley!" Still nothing.

Lilly tore through the room, really worried now. "Miley?" The room was empty, and she dashed through Miley's decoy closet into the Hannah closet. Empty too. What the heck was going on here?

Fear welled up and Lilly didn't bother to try and stop it, letting the adrenaline give her speed as she pounded through the room and back out to the balcony. Maybe Miley had fallen. Visions danced in front of her eyes: Miley with her leg twisted beneath her at an unnatural angle, Miley passed out with blood pooling under her head. If Miley was hurt Lilly would never forgive herself.

The edge of the balcony railing hit Lilly just below the ribs, so hard she knew it would bruise in the morning, but she hardly noticed. She leaned over the edge, gripping the railing so hard her knuckles turned white. The ground below was as empty as the room behind her. No Miley.

It didn't make any _sense_. Where the heck was she? If this was a prank, she was going to _kill_ Miley. She'd never talk to her again, not for the rest of her life. She – "Lilly."

Lilly whirled around. She blinked, then blinked again. "Roxy?" And was that – "Miley?" Relief washed through her. But where had Roxy come from? And how had Miley gotten into her Hannah disguise so fast?

"Lilly, listen to me," Roxy said. "We don't have much time. I'm not – "

"Lilly!" Miley interrupted, a dopey smile spread across her face. "Lilly, Lilly, Lilly. You look just like you!" She giggled, her laugh bordering hysteria. "Man, this is some good shit, I have to remember to text Traci tomorrow and thank her."

"Miley, are you okay?" Lilly asked. She started forward, only to stop abruptly when Miley threw up a hand.

"No!" Miley said. "Don't come over here! You'll disappear if you get too close, and I want you to stay. You always disappear. Not like_ her_," she sneered, shoving Roxy away from her. "She sticks around no matter _what_."

"Miley," Lilly said, cutting herself off when Miley's eyes suddenly rolled back in her head and her body crumpled. Roxy dove forward and managed to get her hands under Miley's head before she could crack it on the ground.

"What's wrong with her?" Lilly whispered, horrified.

"Right now? I'd say it's the vodka and ecstasy she had before the concert," Roxy said, lowering herself to sit on the deck. "Long term is something else. That's why we're here."

Lilly shook her head. "Miley doesn't drink and she doesn't do drugs. And anyway, I was with her the whole time tonight, I would know if she'd taken anything."

Miley stirred a bit in Roxy's arms and then subsided, a groan escaping her lips. Lilly crept closer to them. "What did you do to her?" she demanded. Her nose wrinkled. "And what the heck is that smell?"

"She threw up."

Lilly peered down at Miley. Her face was slack, and even out cold Miley looked indescribably tired, as though the limitless energy Lilly usually associated with her best friend had been bled away. There were dark shadows under her eyes the make-up did little to hide and her hair was matted, the ends stuck together in clumps.

"She got it in her hair?" Lilly asked, feeling her own stomach start to churn. She thumped to the ground as her legs gave out and pulled Miley away from Roxy, settling Miley's head in her lap, heedless of the smell.

Five minutes ago everything had been fine, and now... "What happened, Roxy?"

Roxy sighed. "Lilly, look at me." Lilly tore her eyes away from Miley's face. "I need you to listen to me and not interrupt, because I don't have a lot of time to explain things. I'm not Roxy." She held up a hand to stop the question forming on Lilly's lips. "Miley calls me Angel, because that's what I am. I'm an angel, and Miley's wish came true. I made it come true."

"What?" Lilly asked, her mind reeling. Had Roxy done the drugs she'd accused Miley of doing? This was crazy, it had to be some kind of joke. This was a lot of trouble to go through for some stupid prank, but it had to be one. It had to. "What are you talking about? What wish?"

"The one she just made," Roxy said. "She wished she could be Hannah Montana all the time, and I made that happen. I took her somewhere where she was."

Lilly shook her head. "That's – no. She just wished that five minutes ago. Nothing like _this_ – " She waved a hand towards the girl passed out in her lap. " – could happen that fast. This is – this is some kind of dumb prank or something, and I don't know how you got Miley in her Hannah disguise so fast, but both of you need to just stop it, just stop this right now, right – " Her voice broke and she couldn't go on. She put her hands on Miley's shoulder and shook her, she kept shaking her and shaking her but Miley wouldn't wake up.

"Lilly," Roxy said softly. "This isn't a joke. This is real."

"No," Lilly said, choking back a sob, more afraid now than she had been when Miley was missing. This couldn't be real. This couldn't be Miley, not this girl with pasty, gray skin and vomit in her hair, this girl who was so drugged and drunk she hadn't even known Lilly was real. Wake up, Miley, Lilly thought. Wake up and tell me this is a joke. I'll forgive you, I promise. Just wake up.

"Try to take her wig off."

Her hand shook as she reached down and slid her fingers into Miley's hair, tugging on it lightly. The skin of Miley's scalp tented up around each individual strand. She wasn't wearing a wig.

She wasn't wearing a wig. This was real.

"What happened?" Lilly whispered. Tears spilled out of her eyes and down her cheeks, dripping off her chin and soaking into Miley's hair. "I don't understand. What happened? How could this happen?" She pulled Miley up, wrapping arms around her and rocking her back and forth, needing reassurance that Miley was actually there, alive.

"It's been longer there than it has here," Angel explained. "A lot longer. Almost a year and a half. A lot's happened, but I had to bring her back to now."

"Okay," Lilly said, trying to think, to somehow make any of this make sense. "Okay. So her wish came true, and stuff happened, whatever, but she's back now. Okay. It'll be all right. We'll fix this. I'll get her dad and Oliver and Jackson – "

"No, honey," Angel broke in. "This is borrowed time. Miley made her wish, and she's got to live with it. We can't stay."

"What?" Lilly asked. "What do you mean?"

"We've got about...eight or nine minutes, now," Angel said. "And then we have to go back."

"No!" Lilly shouted, tightening her hold on Miley. "No, you can't take her! I won't let you."

Angel smiled sadly. "You won't be able to stop me, baby girl. Believe me, this isn't my decision, either. I would leave her here if I could."

"Why are you doing this?" Lilly said. "Why would you bring her here like this – show her to me, looking like – and then say you're taking her away and I can't help her? Why – "

"Because you get a wish, too, Lilly," Angel said. "I didn't grant the one you made, so you've still got one, and that means you can come with us. If you want to."

Shock loosened Lilly's arms. "What?" she said hoarsely. Miley slipped a little and Lilly let her settle back on the deck, her head pillowed on the side of Lilly's bent knee. She couldn't understand any of this. Things like this didn't happen. Wishes weren't real.

"_Listen_, Lilly," Angel said. Lilly looked at her numbly. "If you make a wish – _if_ – you need to be very, very careful about what you say. Upper Management isn't too happy with me right now, and me pulling this isn't going to help matters."

"I can wish for anything, right?" Lilly said. "Can't I – can't I just wish for her to stay?"

"No," Angel said. "You can't negate her wish. I'm sorry, that's my fault. I've been working at reversing it a long time, and like I said, Upper Management isn't too happy about that. I had to get very creative to get her here at all, and they'd block me in a heartbeat if I tried to grant a wish like that. That's why you need to be careful. They're going to be angry, and they're going to try to interpret your wish the way _they_ want it, not necessarily the way you mean it."

"I don't understand," Lilly said.

"Say you wish to go with us," Angel said. "You might go, but you might not stay. You might be there ten seconds, or ten minutes, and then you'd be back here. You need to be very specific. And, Lilly, I need to tell you...Miley isn't the only thing that's different there. You have a very different life. We don't have enough time for me to tell you everything, but I don't think you would like the changes. Miley didn't. You need to be aware of that if you decide to make a wish. Put your own timeframe on it. A few months, maybe, or a year. Or put in a loophole so that you can come back if you decide you want to."

Lilly squeezed her eyes shut until she saw spots. This was too much, too quickly. "What should I do?" she begged Angel. "Tell me what to do."

"I can't, honey," Angel said. "You have to decide for yourself. And I know this is a lot, but we've only got a couple minutes. They've been keeping me there, and they're not going to be happy I found a way around that. I have a feeling as soon as we go back I'm gonna get called on the carpet. I may not have another chance to come back here, so you have to decide now."

Lilly didn't know what to do. How was she supposed to decide something like this? How could she choose between letting her best friend, letting _Miley_, go back alone and jumping into the unknown, into the world that had reduced Miley to this?

Miley stirred, turning her head and opening her eyes, looking up at Lilly from an angle. "Lilly," she rasped. "I'm sorry." Then her eyes rolled back in her head and she passed out again.

Lilly found it wasn't such a hard decision after all.

There was a streak of dried vomit going from the corner of Miley's mouth down to her chin. Lilly stuck two fingers in her own mouth to wet them and then wiped it off gently. She looked up at Angel.

"I wish to be with Miley," Lilly said. Watch out for loopholes, she thought, Angel's warnings ringing in her head. Put in a timeframe. Be specific. So she was. "Forever."

Angel didn't move for a minute, watching Lilly, her eyes unreadable as pools of night. Then she nodded once, slowly. Behind her head, another star shot across the sky. After that, there was only darkness.

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**This was the prologue, so it was kinda short. The chapters will be longer. I think I'm going to go with a Monday/Friday posting schedule for this and the sequel, since that'll work best with all the other crap I have to do right now. There'll be five more chapters in this story, the next one will be up Friday.**


	2. Bring You Down

**Uh, wow. I guess you people like crack. Which is good, since this is, like, the least cracky verse I have planned. Once you get past the premise on this one (...we are not there yet), it's not that bad. Thanks so much for all the reviews, and I hope you all continue to enjoy the story.**

**Oh, and I forgot to say before that chapter titles are taken from Hannah lyrics.**

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**Chapter One: Bring You Down**

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_One step too late__  
Just one more and I could break__  
Can you save me now__  
I'm already gone__  
Can you save me now  
I'm already lost_

- Valora, _Can You Save Me Now_

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**19 – 20 March 2008**

Looking back, the first thing that Lilly noticed being different was her body. It was strange, because she woke up in a different bed, in a whole different room, but when she stumbled from her bed to the bathroom still half-asleep, the thing that woke her, the thing that made her stop after taking only two steps, was the way her body felt. It felt lighter somehow, less there. Less powerful.

Puzzled, she stripped quickly, not thinking, just reacting. Wanting her eyes to tell her she was wrong. It was only after she'd stared down at the length of her frame and catalogued everything wrong – legs too skinny, stomach too soft, breasts too big, weak arms – that she looked up and realized she didn't know where she was.

And then she did. The room spun, or maybe it was her head. Her first clear thought was: My wish came true.

Like a marionette whose strings had been cut, Lilly collapsed to the floor. Only then did she notice the room, how it was twice the size of her bedroom at home and decorated mostly in pink. It looked like Amber and Ashley had exploded all over it. And the bed was huge, a queen at least, not the twin she was used to. Lilly prodded at her thighs and calves with stiff fingers. These legs belonged to someone who had never been on a skate or surfboard. She remembered Angel saying time had passed here, almost a year and a half, which she guessed explained the breasts.

Lilly crawled to where she'd tossed her pajama top and pulled it back on. The curtains were open, so she put the bottoms on too before standing, only sparing a glance at the unfamiliar view outside the window. There wasn't time to think about that now. She needed to shower, get dressed. Find Miley.

It took her longer than usual to get ready because she couldn't find anything she was willing to leave the house wearing, despite the fact that the closet was a walk-in that could rival Miley's Hannah closet. Anxiety building in her stomach finally forced her into a pair of dark pink capris and a patterned top that sort of matched. She didn't want to take the time to dry her hair but couldn't find a hat she'd be caught dead wearing, so she braided it quickly into pigtails.

The house wasn't a house. It turned out to be a townhouse, which Lilly discovered once she ventured out of the bedroom with its attached bath. She also discovered she wasn't alone. Singing could be heard as Lilly descended the stairs, and for a second her heart leaped, thinking it was Miley, but that wasn't Miley's voice.

Following the sound, Lilly found herself in an open, sunny kitchen. Spotless white marble countertops gleamed over dark, cherry-stained cabinets, and the morning sunlight glinted off the stainless steel refrigerator. A woman with bright red hair was bent over a table that matched the cabinets, wiping it down. She straightened as Lilly came into the room. "Good morning, Miss Truscott."

"Good morning," Lilly answered faintly. What was this place? Who was this woman? And where were her parents?

"Shall I make you some breakfast?" the woman asked.

Lilly tried to say no but no sound came out. She cleared her throat and tried again. "No. I need to go..." Home first? Or should she go to Miley's? Miley's, she decided. Miley could give her answers, and maybe Angel would be there, too. "Out." How much should she tell this woman?

"Of course, ma'am," said the woman. "Will you be taking the Jag or should I call Brian?"

"Um, Brian, please," Lilly answered, wondering who Brian was but knowing for sure she wouldn't be taking the Jag.

It didn't take long before she found out about Brian: he was the driver. _Her_ driver, who showed up outside the front door in a shiny, 2008 Lincoln Towncar with tinted windows. Angel had said things would be different here, but Lilly thought this was getting a little out of hand. How in the heck did she end up with her own driver? And in a townhouse a lot closer to central L.A. than Lilly had ever been before by herself.

She tried not to think about it too much on the ride to Miley's. Just wait until you find out what's going on, she told herself. Then you can freak out. But it was hard, especially when Brian just looked at her blankly when Lilly named Miley's place as their destination. She'd had to give the address, and Lilly didn't like the implications.

Miley's house looked the same, though, reassuring in its familiarity. Lilly stood for a moment on the doorstep, bracing herself for...she didn't know what. And standing around wasn't going to help anything. She lifted a hand and rapped on the glass pane.

Nothing happened. Lilly gave it a few minutes and then knocked again, finally pushing the doorbell and holding it down when no answer was forthcoming. Miley had to be here.

The door was yanked open. "What the fuck – " Miley snarled, cutting herself off when she saw who it was. Lilly thought she saw a flash of something in Miley's eyes – hope or longing, she couldn't tell – before a wall of anger slammed over them and Miley's face twisted into an even more unfriendly expression. "What are you doing here? Blow through everything already?" Lilly didn't have a clue what Miley was talking about, but Miley looked even worse than she had last night. Her eyes looked like they were sunk into her head and the blonde hair Lilly had to keep reminding herself wasn't a wig was tangled and frizzed. "Go talk to my goddamned accountant then, I told you I don't want you fucking coming around here ever again."

She slammed the door in Lilly's face before Lilly could say a word. Rocking back on her heels, Lilly gaped at her reflection in the glass. What the heck was going on?

Only one way to find out. The door was unlocked, and Lilly pushed it open. Miley hadn't gone far; she was sprawled on the couch but jumped up when she saw Lilly step through the door. "Miley," Lilly said.

"I thought I just fucking _told_ you – " Miley blanched and stopped dead. "What did you call me?"

"Um...Miley?" Just how different was this world? Did Miley even remember who she was? What had Lilly gotten herself into?

"You don't..." Miley swallowed. "You don't call me that."

"It's your name," Lilly said. "I always call you that. Miley...it's me."

Miley approached her with halting steps. "Lilly?" Her voice cracked on the name and disbelief was painted across her face.

"That's me," Lilly said, shrugging.

Miley reached out a hesitant hand, coming within an inch of brushing Lilly's shoulder before she jerked it away, folding her arms behind her back. Lilly remembered her words on the balcony last night. Was it really only last night? "I'm really here, Miley. I'm real. You can touch me, I won't disappear." Miley didn't move, so Lilly put a hand on her shoulder –

And immediately found herself grabbed up in a hug so tight it made her ribs creak. "Miley," Lilly croaked. "I can't breathe." Miley's only response was to hug her harder. Lilly patted her awkwardly on the back. "Miley," she gasped, starting to feel dizzy, and Miley finally released her, stepping back but keeping both her hands on Lilly's shoulders.

"Is it really you?" Miley asked, looking like she wouldn't dare let herself believe it.

"It's me," Lilly assured her.

"Who's Fern?" Miley said.

"What?"

"Who's Fern?" Miley repeated.

"Well, she wasn't a fern," Lilly said, a bit angry and confused as to why Miley would bring that up now, before realizing a second later that it was a test. "She was a ficus."

"What did – "

"Miley, I promise, it really is me."

"But how?" Miley said. "I don't understand. How did this happen? How did you get here?"

Lilly brought her hands up to grip Miley's. "Let's go sit down and I'll explain, okay?" she said. Miley didn't look all that steady on her feet. Lilly led Miley over to the couch and sat, pulling Miley down beside her. She tried to extricate her hands from Miley's but Miley kept hold of one of them as if she was afraid Lilly really would disappear if Miley let her go completely.

"Angel brought you to me last night," Lilly told her.

Miley's eyes went round. "That really happened?" she said. Lilly nodded. "I thought I was hallu – but...Angel said she couldn't take me back."

"It wasn't for long," Lilly explained. "Just about fifteen minutes. She said you couldn't stay longer than that."

"But how did you...?" Miley asked.

"She said I could make a wish and come back with you if I wanted to," Lilly said.

"I thought you wished for an A on the earthworm project."

"You remember that?" Lilly asked.

"I remember everything," Miley said.

Lilly shrugged. "Angel said she didn't grant that one so I could make another one. So I wished to come."

Miley turned her head away. "You shouldn't have."

"What?" Lilly said, feeling her stomach drop. If Miley didn't want her here...

Miley wouldn't look at her. "I never wanted you to see me like this. I look like shit."

Lilly shut her eyes a second and breathed in deeply in relief. "You think I care what you look like? I don't care about that, Miley. I just...I just want you to be okay."

Miley turned and stared at her so intensely that Lilly started to get uncomfortable. "I forgot," Miley said finally. "I forgot what it was like, having you, having someone... You look so much like her. You didn't look like that last night. You looked just how I remembered you."

"That's because it wasn't last night there," Lilly told her. "Angel said more time had passed here. Last night on the balcony...it was the night you made your wish."

Miley's eyes widened. "That was a year and a half ago," she whispered. "You lost a year and a half? Lilly – "

"It doesn't matter," Lilly said. Skipping a year and a half of her life was just too weird to think about right now. She was still working on the whole 'other universe' thing. "And anyway, I guess that's why I look different. I mean, I guess this is hers." She gestured to her body with her free hand, then untangled the other one from Miley's grasp and cupped her breasts, looking down at them. "I mean, I didn't have these yesterday."

Miley laughed. It sounded awkward and foreign coming out of her mouth, as though she was out of practice doing it. "Yeah, I know what you mean," she said, giving a short, sharp tug to her blonde hair.

"It feels weird," Lilly said. She shifted on the couch, itchy in this new skin.

"I know," Miley said. "I'm sorry." Abruptly, she sat forward and buried her face in hands, bursting into tears.

Lilly stared at her in shock for moment before springing forward and wrapping her arms around Miley, pulling her into a hug. "Hey, hey, it's okay," she soothed.

"I missed you so much," Miley said, returning Lilly's embrace and sobbing into her shoulder.

"It's okay," Lilly said. "I'm here now, it's okay."

After a few minutes, Miley got herself under control and pulled away. "I'm sorry," she said, wiping at the tears on her face. "I know I probably smell horrible."

Lilly wrinkled up her nose and smiled at her. "A little bit," she confirmed.

Miley chuckled, and it sounded more natural this time. "I should go take a shower," she said. "Get this crap out of my hair."

"Miley," Lilly said. "What happened? I mean, I woke up in a townhouse in L.A. with a maid and a driver, and you're...Where's your dad? Jackson? How could they let you – "

"Daddy's married," Miley said. "He married one of my tutors. She doesn't love him, but she loves his money. I tried to warn him, but..." One of her shoulder lifted in a shrug. "She likes to travel. They drop by sometimes but I haven't seen him in...six months? Maybe seven. When he comes, I hide the drinking. I'm good at hiding things now." She looked at Lilly and Lilly's skin crawled at the emptiness in her eyes. "I've kept it mostly out of the press, and you don't know how hard that is when they're always watching. Always." She swallowed. "Jackson couldn't take it. He...he lives on the beach now. He'd rather be homeless than live with me." Her voice broke on the last two words and tears started leaking out of her eyes again, which she hurriedly brushed away.

"Oh god, Miley," Lilly said. "I am so sorry."

"It's okay," Miley said, smiling sadly at her. "I mean, it isn't, but it's just the way things are. It helps, just having someone to talk to. I haven't talked to anyone in so..." She shook her head. "I can't believe you're here. I can't believe you would do that for me."

"You're my best friend, Miley," Lilly said. "I'd do anything for you. You would have done the same thing for me, wouldn't you?"

"Of course I would," Miley said. "But that's different. You're not some drunk loser who – "

"Neither are you," Lilly said firmly, hating the self-loathing she heard in Miley's voice. "Stop thinking like that. I don't care what's happened, you're still the same person you always were. You're my best friend and I love you."

Miley looked away. "You might not feel like that once you find out how things are here."

"Stop it," Lilly said. "I said I don't care what's happened. But I do want to know. I mean, what about me, why didn't I...You said I look like her, so we must have known each other. I can't believe I wouldn't try to – "

"We knew each other," Miley broke in. "Sort of. We haven't really talked in a while, though. You moved into the city when I gave you ten million dollars."

"You did what?" Lilly sputtered. "Why would you – "

Miley shrugged again. "You wanted it," she said flatly. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"Okay," Lilly said, not wanting her to get upset again. "How long have you been...I mean, was last night like a one-time thing, or...?" She didn't think it was. She didn't think Angel would have gone through so much trouble for a one-time thing, and the disgust in Miley's voice when she talked about herself...that took more than one night. But she hoped she was wrong.

"I started drinking about a year ago," Miley said. "Some...some stuff happened, just stupid shit, you know? But already I wasn't doing so well, and it just...kind of happened. Traci got me to try Ecstasy a couple months ago."

"Miley, you have to stop," Lilly said. "Last night was so scary. You were so...I've never been more afraid."

"I will," Miley said. Her eyes shone. "I promise. You're here now. I don't need it anymore."

———————————————

Miley kept her promise for all of eight hours.

She took a shower while Lilly scrounged around the kitchen for something to eat. The fridge was full of old take-out, none of which looked remotely edible. Lilly finally found a package of English muffins in the freezer, shoved behind a wall of vodka bottles, and stuck one in the toaster oven. It tasted like freezer burn no matter how much strawberry jam she slathered on it.

Lilly gave up after she ate half of it and started scrolling through the phone book on her cell phone instead. She wanted to call her parents but she didn't know if the number would be the same. She had ten million dollars – ten million! – they probably had different cell phone plans.

They weren't in the phone book. Frowning, Lilly scrolled through it again. It was just a bunch of people she didn't know, and, weirdly, Amber and Ashley. Her parents weren't there and neither was her brother, or Oliver. Or Miley. She didn't want to think about what that meant. She'd wait for Miley to come down and ask her. There had to be a logical explanation.

She set her phone down on the table and paced around the living room to try and rid herself of some of her nervous energy. All of the blinds were down, making the room dim even though it was almost noon. That was weird, Lilly thought. She went over to one of the windows and peeked around the edge of the blind.

"Don't do that," Miley said sharply, coming down the stairs. She was wrapped up in her flowered pink bathrobe and had a damp, dark purple towel in her hands.

Lilly jumped and let the blind fall back into place. "Why not? Paparazzi?"

"No," Miley said. "Well, I don't know, there might be some out there, but they usually don't bother since I keep the place shut off. It's mostly just Oliver."

"_Oliver?_" Lilly yelped. "What do you mean Oliver?"

"Yeah, he, um..." Miley lifted the towel and started to squeeze the moisture from her hair. "He and Rico have a telescope down on the beach. They charge people to look at the house and see if they can spot me."

"I...he..." Lilly sat down hard on the piano bench. "They what?"

Miley sat next to her, towel in her lap. "Don't worry about it, Lilly," she said, putting a hand on Lilly's shoulder. "It's okay."

"It is _not_ okay!" Lilly said vehemently.

Miley smiled sadly. "No," she said. "But most things aren't here."

"How could Oliver do something like that?" Lilly asked. "I mean, Rico I can understand, but Oliver?"

"People are different here," Miley said. Her eyes fixed on the bottom of the stairs, staring at nothing, or at something only she could see. "You can't expect them to be like they were. You'll only get hurt."

Lilly shivered. Miley's voice sounded so dead. "What does that mean?"

Miley blinked, then looked over at her. "Nothing. I just came down to let you know I'm out of the shower in case you want to take one."

"Oh," Lilly said, bewildered at the sudden change of subject. "No, I took one before I came over." Miley arched an eyebrow. "What?"

"You woke up in a different universe with no idea what was going on, but you still took the time to take a shower?" Miley asked.

"Yeah, I, um..." She hadn't really given it any thought, she'd just followed her normal routine, which seemed stupid now. This situation was anything but normal. "I guess I did."

Miley grinned and chuckled, shaking her head.

"What?" Lilly said again.

"Nothing," Miley said. "Just...I'm glad you're here."

Lilly thought about Oliver and the names on her phone and didn't know if she could bring herself to say the same thing. "It's so weird," she said instead, reaching out and fingering a lock of Miley's hair. "Seeing the Hannah hair wet."

Miley smiled that same sad smile. "You get used to it."

———————————————

Miley suggested they go out for lunch when she came downstairs again, the Hannah hair now in its familiar dry, sleek state. Lilly's stomach wouldn't let her say no, and when she saw how excited Miley got over the idea, she decided to wait to ask about the numbers on her phone. Later would be better, anyway, for calling her parents. The display on her phone said it was Wednesday, March 19: a school day. They would probably freak out if she called them when she was supposed to be in school, and what was she going to say, Sorry, I just got transported into an alternate universe and wanted to hear your voice?

So, yeah, later would be better.

"It'll be nice to have someone to eat with," Miley said. "Someone real, I mean." Lilly didn't ask what that meant. She decided she wasn't going to ask any questions she didn't want to know the answers to, at least not until the end of lunch. Going out to eat with Hannah was something normal, something she'd done before, something that would be the same, and maybe for just an hour she could pretend everything else was too.

It was more like fifteen minutes, which was how long it took them to get to the restaurant. Then Lilly got out of the car and felt the peculiar sensation of being naked and invisible at the same time. She felt so exposed being out with Hannah in public without one of Lola's wigs or carefully mismatched outfits. Her nerves kept screaming at her that this was wrong, that she was going to blow Miley's cover, and she had to constantly remind herself that there wasn't any cover to blow.

That was the naked part. The invisible part was because even if there _had_ been a cover to blow, it probably wouldn't have mattered. She could have been a spare set of silverware for all the attention anyone paid her.

That wasn't the only thing that was different. Miley walked in the restaurant, demanded, and immediately got a table in the back, the most secluded one in the place. A table that already had a party of four at it, which the management vacated while Miley watched with disinterest.

And being in the back didn't stop people from coming up all throughout lunch and asking for autographs and pictures. That was different, too, and maybe the most disturbing. Not the requests, but Miley's reaction to them. It was weird. Backwards. Because back home, Miley might have been wearing a disguise, but when her fans came up to her, they got _her_, how she really was. But not here. Here they got someone else, someone who didn't smile, or ask their name, only scratched a desultory signature across whatever surface they presented her with and then ignored their disappointed faces until they went away.

Lilly didn't have anything to do but eat her food and watch as that scene played out again and again, and by the time the check came it seemed to her that Hannah hadn't really been a disguise at all. Hannah had been a wig and some clothes with a lot of sequins on them. This was the real disguise.

At least, Lilly hoped it was.

"Fuck," Miley said, glancing at her watch after the waiter brought the check. "This is why I never go out anymore. Takes too fucking long with all the shit I have to sign. I'm gonna be late for rehearsal."

A wall of paparazzi had formed in front of the restaurant while they ate. "That's the other reason I never fucking go out," Miley muttered. Lilly wondered if that was what made the feeding-frenzy worse than it usually was, or if Hannah was even more famous here.

They went straight to Miley's rehearsal from the restaurant, and the paparazzi followed them, and then the afternoon turned into a whirlwind of background dancers, a last-minute outfit fitting, and two radio interviews before they swung back by the house so Miley could pick up some stuff she wanted for the concert. It wasn't until they were in the limo going back to the arena that Lilly realized she still hadn't talked to her parents. She'd call them after the concert, she decided, when they got back to Miley's. It wouldn't be too late then, and she didn't want to do it in public, in case she started crying or something. Or something. It worried her a little that her mom hadn't tried to call her.

The concert was at the Staples Center. Hannah had played it before, and Lilly had gone with her, but never as herself.

"This feels strange," Lilly said as the limo slowly drove through the parking lot towards one of the back entrances to the arena. Miley shot her a slightly sympathetic, slightly exasperated look. "Sorry, I know I keep saying that, but it does." She was still wearing the same clothes she'd put on this morning, and while they weren't something she'd normally wear, they weren't anywhere near Lola-territory either. And her hair was still in braids, not pinned up under an itchy wig. It felt even weirder to be going to a concert like this than it had lunch.

The limo rolled to a stop in front of a large group of people gathered around the door. Lilly took a deep breath to steel herself for the usual flurry of camera flashes and high-pitched screams, then put her hand on the door handle. "Ready?" she asked, and was surprised to see something very close to fear on Miley's face. "Are you okay?"

Miley ripped her eyes away from the crowd and grabbed her bag, tossing it over her left shoulder. "Sure," she said. "I'm great. Let's go."

Lilly had never made it through one of these fan blockades so quickly before. Miley didn't stop once to sign an autograph or greet a fan or even flash a smile at the cameras. Her hand gripped Lilly's shoulder and she pushed Lilly through the crowd so hard Lilly worried that she might trip and fall, and she wasn't at all sure Miley wouldn't just keep going and trample over her if that happened. She could feel tension radiating from Miley like heat waves. Thirty seconds later, the solid metal door with its peeling, hunter green paint banged shut behind them.

"Whew," Lilly said. Miley didn't say anything, and when Lilly looked over she had her back pressed up against the door and her eyes squeezed shut. Her face was white as a sheet. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Miley's eyes snapped open and her lips tightened. "I'm fine. Hurry up, I've got to get dressed." And she strode off down the hall like Lilly had been the one holding them back.

Lilly hurried after her. Once they got away from the door, there were people around, a lot of people, all running around in the usual pre-concert rush. Several of them tried to get Miley's attention, but she either ignored them completely or brushed them off with a backwards wave of her hand.

"Miley," Lilly said as they ducked through the doorway into the dressing room. Miley immediately shut the door behind them. "Those people were trying to talk to you."

"Fuck them," Miley growled. She tossed her bag onto the couch and slumped down next to it.

Lilly stared at her. This wasn't anything like Miley usually acted. "Miley, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong!" Miley practically yelled at her. "I told you I'm fine, now get off my fucking back!"

"Miley...," Lilly said, scared now. It was obvious that something _was_ wrong, but she didn't know what, or how to find out without getting Miley even more worked up.

"I'm sorry," Miley said. She sat forward and rubbed at her forehead with one hand. "I didn't mean to yell, I'm just a little stressed out about the concert, but I'll be fine, okay? I just need to get dressed."

"Okay," Lilly said slowly. It seemed like more than pre-show jitters, but she wanted to believe that was all it was. "I think I'm going to run to the bathroom while you change." Maybe Miley just needed a little time to calm down.

"Sure," Miley said, smiling weakly.

Lilly wasn't gone more than five minutes, and she expected to find Miley still getting ready, but instead Miley was already dressed and dancing around in front of the mirror, singing into a hairbrush.

"Hey," Miley said, spinning around when she saw Lilly's reflection. "That was quick."

"Yeah," Lilly said. "You, too."

"It's faster without the wig," Miley said, practicing a dance move. Lilly hadn't thought of that.

"So are you, um..." She bit her lip, hoping the question wouldn't set Miley off again. "Are you feeling better? Less stressed, I mean."

"Oh, yeah," Miley said breezily, a night-and-day difference from her earlier reaction. She executed another quick dance step. "I'm totally stress-free, I promise. I just needed to get my head together, you know?"

Lilly nodded, but even though that was what she'd tried to tell herself, the explanation seemed off somehow, and she wasn't convinced that something wasn't still wrong, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. And she didn't have long to think about it, because in another minute she could hear the low, thunderous rumbling through the concrete walls that meant the audience had started cheering, and then they were calling Miley to the stage.

But the feeling persisted as she watched Miley singing and dancing across the stage. It wasn't that her performance was bad, not at all, and she doubted anyone in the audience noticed a thing, but Lilly had seen Miley perform many more times than they ever had, and knew Miley much better than they ever would. Usually Miley's performance was heart-pounding, dazzling, almost buoyant. Tonight it was strangely hollow and her movements were jerky and just this side of frantic.

"What's going on out there?" Lilly asked when Miley took a short break between songs.

Miley downed another swig from the water bottle she'd brought from the house, a bright pink aluminum one with flowers on it. Miley said those were really popular now. "What are you talking about?"

"You just seem...different," Lilly said, cursing the fact that she couldn't express what she was feeling more concretely. But as hazy as it was, she knew it was there, it was real. Something was different. Something was wrong. She knew it.

Miley shrugged. "It's a new routine, I'm still working the kinks out. They seem happy enough with it," she said, gesturing towards the screaming crowd. She took another big swallow from the water bottle before setting it back on the little table that was also laden with a fruit tray and a platter of hot dogs Lilly had already helped herself to earlier. "See you in a bit."

Miley flashed her a sloppy smile as she pranced back out onto the stage, but Lilly barely saw it. She was too busy staring at the water bottle, dread creeping through her veins like ice. No. It couldn't be. Miley had said she'd stop.

In a daze, Lilly stepped forward and picked up the water bottle. It had been full when the concert started; now it felt like there was less than a quarter of the liquid left in the bottle. Lilly took the top off, tipped a small sip into her mouth, and then immediately spat it out on the floor. Granted, she'd never had vodka before, but she was pretty darn sure that was it. It sure as heck wasn't water.

Lilly coughed at the taste and quickly jammed a strawberry from the tray into her mouth to get rid of it. How could Miley drink this stuff?

How could Miley _drink?_

———————————————

Lilly sat on the couch in Miley's dressing room, staring numbly at the wall, the mostly empty bottle clasped loosely in her hand. She'd been sitting there for the past twenty minutes but she was no closer to figuring out how Miley could have done this after she'd promised she wouldn't. And it wasn't like Miley had just slipped, either. No, she'd deliberately waited for Lilly to leave her alone and then put vodka in the bottle and drank from it all night, right in front of Lilly. Like what she'd said earlier hadn't meant anything at all. Like it didn't matter that Lilly was here, like Lilly coming here was nothing.

The door banged open and Miley danced through it. "What happened to you?" she asked Lilly, going straight to the mirror and fluffing her hair with her fingers. "You missed my encores, I kicked ass." She combed her fingers through her bangs and made a pouty, kissy face at the mirror before twirling around. "Hey, have you seen – "

"Looking for this?" Lilly asked. The bottle dangled from her hand as she held it up.

Guilt and defiance clumsily chased each other across Miley's face. "So what if I am?" she demanded.

"Miley, you said you'd stop!" Lilly said, jumping up.

"So I had one drink," Miley said. "Big fucking deal."

"One drink?" Lilly said incredulously. "_One?_ This bottle is almost empty, you drank the whole thing! And what about while I was in the bathroom, huh? What else did you do while I was gone?"

"Screw this," Miley said, scooping up her bag and making a grab at the bottle. Lilly snatched it back out of her grasp. "Fine, keep it, I've got more. And I don't have to fucking stand here and listen to this shit."

She stormed out of the dressing room and Lilly chased after her. "Han – Miley," she called, remembering there was no reason to hide her real name, but Miley ignored her, barreling down the hall and out the door.

As soon as she got outside, the screaming and cheering and camera flashes started going off again. This time, though, Miley grinned and waved and took a little bow, which made the screams increase, and then she grabbed a pen and photo from one of the hands thrusting in her direction and started signing autographs.

"Miley," Lilly tried again, putting a hand on her shoulder, but Miley shrugged her off and turned to sign another photo. "Miley!" Fed up, Lilly grabbed Miley's arm and yanked her away so forcefully the picture and pen tumbled from her hands and would have fallen to the ground if the crowd hadn't been quick to catch them.

"Sorry, Hannah's got a busy night tonight," she yelled back at them, pulling open the limo door and practically shoving Miley inside.

"What the fuck, Lilly?" Miley said once Lilly had gotten in as well and the limo was crawling through the parking lot while the mass of people crowded around it, screaming and banging on the windows. She hit the button that made the privacy screen go up, shielding them from the driver. "Those are my fans, you can't treat them like that!"

"Why not?" Lilly snapped. "You blew them off earlier."

"That was different," Miley said defensively.

"No, it wasn't," she hissed. "And the only reason you didn't do it again was because you wanted to blow _me_ off. Well, it's not going to work. You said you'd stop drinking, Miley. It hasn't even been a day! You have to stop, last night you were so out of it...if you keep doing this you're going to end up in the hospital, or worse."

"No, I won't," Miley argued. "Look, it's not like that, okay? I'm walking around just fine tonight, aren't I? I just did a concert, for fuck's sake, obviously I'm fine. I can control it." She dug through her bag and pulled out a silver flask, downing what had to be at least half of it in one long pull, apparently not realizing the irony of her actions.

"Miley, don't you see what's going on?" Lilly pleaded with her. The limo turned out of the parking lot, leaving the screaming fans behind. Lilly's next words sounded louder without their voices in the background. "You said you'd stop but you didn't. You lied to me about it, you hid it from me, you could barely go seven hours without taking a drink. You're _addicted_ to this stuff, Miley."

"You don't understand," Miley said, pulling her legs up onto her seat and curling herself around the flask. "I knew you wouldn't." She looked so self-righteously wounded that Lilly was torn between laughing in her face and slapping it.

"You're right," she said angrily. "I don't understand. Because I _thought_ that my best friend didn't try to keep things from me. I _thought_ that I could believe her when she said she would stop drinking. I _thought_ that she was happy that I was here, but instead it turns out that she's just a drunk liar!"

Miley regarded her with wide eyes and Lilly glared back, shaking with fury and fear. Miley looked away first. Her bottom lip trembled. "I'm sorry," she said, all of the fight gone out of her. "You're right, I am." She started crying and had to force the next words out. " I'm just a drunk, lying bitch, and you shouldn't – you shouldn't have even..."

"No," Lilly said, moving from her seat on the side to sit next to Miley in the back. "Don't say that." She wrapped an arm around Miley's shoulders. "It's okay, it'll be okay. We'll figure something out, you'll see. Here, let me have that." She reached for the flask and Miley jerked away, twisting around and protecting it with her body so that Lilly couldn't get at it.

"No!" she said desperately. "I need it!" And Lilly could hear in her voice just how much she did need it, and that scared her. It scared her because she'd been right, because Miley _was_ addicted, and that meant she wasn't going to be able to just stop. That meant this was much more serious than Lilly had wanted to believe, much more serious than she knew how to deal with on her own.

The fear made her lunge after the flask. She might not know how to deal with this, but she could at least keep Miley from drinking any more tonight. They struggled over it, Lilly barely able to lay a finger on it before Miley would turn her body and block her.

"Miley...just..." Miley slid across the seat and Lilly dove after her. "...give...it..." She reached around Miley's side and got her fingertips on the flask; Miley yanked it upwards sharply. "...to...me!"

She finally got her other hand around it and ripped it away from Miley, but she didn't have a good grip on it and the flask went flying across the limo and landed on the floor, amber liquid spilling out of it and soaking the carpet.

Miley stared at it and Lilly watched her, breathing heavily, waiting to see her reaction. "Shit," Miley said. "That scotch cost four hundred dollars a bottle." Then she started crying, harder than she had a minute ago, so hard strangled choking noises came out of her throat and Lilly worried she'd gag.

Lilly pounded her on the back. "Calm down, Miley," she said. "Calm down or you'll..."

But it was too late. Miley lifted her head, and she had the same look on her face that she'd had the time she got Oh, Wow! perfume all over her. Lilly tried to hit the intercom button to tell the driver to pull over, but before she even got close Miley was leaning over and vomiting the contents of her stomach onto the limo floor. And Lilly's shoes.

"Ugh," Lilly said, pushing herself backwards along the seat to get out of the line of fire. She hated it when people threw up, it always made her feel sick too.

Miley threw up for several minutes and then pulled herself upright, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She looked at Lilly with eyes that were slightly unfocused. "Shit," she said again. "Lilly, I...god, Lilly, I am so sorry. You have to believe me, I didn't mean for this to happen." She leaned back against the seat. "I tried, I really did, you believe me, don't you? I'll do better, I promise."

Lilly looked out the window and sighed. "Miley," she started, but when she looked back over Miley's eyes were shut and she was out cold. Lilly didn't know whether to cry or scream in anger.

So she just breathed through her mouth, trying to avoid the smell, trying to keep from throwing up herself.

———————————————

Lilly tapped her fingers on the kitchen island restlessly. She had the paper open to the sudoku puzzle in front of her, but she kept putting a three in a row that already had one and finally gave up on it. She couldn't concentrate. She crossed to the coffeemaker and pulled out the coffeepot, dumping the whole thing down the drain and then busying herself changing out the filter and measuring new grounds to start a fresh pot. She'd been making a new one every hour or so and this was the fourth. It was almost noon and Miley still hadn't come down.

Miley hadn't woke up when they got home and Lilly hadn't been able to rouse her. Lilly had hauled her upstairs and left her haphazardly sprawled across her bed, still on top of the covers. The way Lilly was feeling, she thought Miley should count herself lucky Lilly hadn't left her on the steps outside.

She'd spent the rest of the night online doing research and trying to figure out what to do, and now she was just waiting on Miley. She'd found a place here in Malibu, one that specialized in privacy and discretion. It was nine thousand dollars a week, but if Miley could give the other Lilly ten million dollars like it was nothing she could afford thirty-six grand for rehab. And if she couldn't, or wouldn't, then Lilly would pay for it. Miley was going.

Footsteps sounded on the stairs and Lilly drew in a nervous breath. She grabbed a mug from the cabinet and poured it full of coffee, using the actions to steady herself. Stay calm, she thought. Calm, but firm.

Miley shuffled down the last few steps and over to the island. She pulled out one of the chairs and sat, mumbling something that might pass for good morning before cradling her face in her hands. Lilly bit back a sigh and slid the mug in front of her. Miley looked – not to put too fine a point on it – like death warmed over.

"Miley." Miley grunted in response but wouldn't meet Lilly's eyes. Instead she wrapped her hands around the coffee mug and sipped from it, pretending that simple task took all of her attention. Or maybe it did, Lilly didn't really know at this point.

Calm, but firm. "Miley, you have a problem." Miley still wouldn't look up, but the way her shoulders hunched in further told Lilly she was listening. "You need help." No response. Lilly took a deep breath. Calm, but firm. "Professional help."

_That_ got her to look up. "No," Miley said. She stared straight at Lilly, eyes stubborn and dead.

"Yes," Lilly countered, every bit as stubborn and angry besides. If Miley thought Lilly was just going to sit around and watch Miley destroy herself she was in for a very rude awakening.

Miley set the coffee down, flattened both hands on the counter. "Look, Lilly, I'll admit I have a problem, but I can take care of it."

"Oh, like you took care of it last night?" Lilly demanded. All of the worry and frustration that had been eating at her since Angel first appeared on the balcony with Miley suddenly bubbled up and she exploded. "You passed out in the limo, Miley, after you'd thrown up in the back of it! I had to drag you upstairs, _me_, and let me tell you, that wasn't easy!"

"Lilly – "

"No, you _promised_, Miley! You _promised_ me you'd stop, and how long did that last? Seven hours? Eight?"

"Lilly, I'm sorry, I really am, but you don't understand," Miley yelled.

Lilly crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back against the counter. "Well, then, why don't you enlighten me," she spat.

Miley scooted the chair back and stood up, leaning over the island towards Lilly. "Listen, Lilly, you don't know what it's been like, okay? I haven't done a show sober in over a year, and I – I just panicked, I didn't know if I could do it without the alcohol." She straightened and ran a hand through her hair. "But it was just once, it won't happen again."

"And what happens at your next concert when you panic again?" Lilly asked quietly.

Miley swallowed. "I'll – I can control it. This won't happen again, Lilly, I promise."

"You're right, it won't," Lilly said. "Because you're getting help."

"No." Miley shook her head, nostrils flaring.

"Yes." She might not have handled calm so well, but firm Lilly could do.

"No. I'm not going to become another in the long list of celebrities checking in and out of rehab and plummeting in popularity every time I do!"

"You need help and you're getting help," Lilly said. Very firm.

"Dammit, Lilly – "

Lilly played her trump card. "Either you get help or I'm going back."

Miley stared at her openmouthed in shock. The kitchen was deathly silent and Lilly could feel her heart hammering in her chest. This had to work. All the websites said you had to give an ultimatum. Lilly just didn't know if she could stand to make Miley believe she would abandon her.

"You can't do that," Miley finally whispered.

"The hell I can't," Lilly said. She pushed off the counter and stepped up to the island, putting her elbows on it and leaning forward, her eyes boring into Miley's. You can do this, she told herself. It's for her own good. "You don't know what I wished. Angel warned me about how bad things are here. She told me I only got one wish, told me I should build a loophole into it, in case I got here and decided this wasn't worth giving my life up for." The pain on Miley's face nearly undid her, but Lilly pushed on. This had to work. "So either you get help or I'm gone."

They locked eyes, staring each other down until Miley finally looked away, dropping her gaze to the counter. "Fine."

Lilly let out a slow breath. "Good," she said. "Because I already called this morning and told them you're checking in today."

Miley opened her mouth like she wanted to argue, but she closed it with a click, teeth against teeth, and just nodded.

"Look, why don't you go take a shower?" Lilly suggested gently. "I'll pack for you and then I'll try to find you something to eat before we go, okay?"

"Yeah," Miley agreed, her face empty. Lilly watched her go until she turned the corner to the stairs and was out of sight. She stayed frozen in the kitchen, only forcing herself to move when she heard the shower start overhead.

Lilly climbed the stairs slowly, her feet dragging. How had she ended up here? How had Miley? Everything had happened so quickly, it was too hard to take it all in. Except it hadn't been quick for Miley, she thought, and suddenly it was like the weight of that time was pushing down on her, crushing her chest and making it difficult to breathe. She felt like she'd lived a lifetime in the last day and a half, lived those missing eighteen months and more, that now she was so old and tired it was amazing she could still stand.

She didn't even realize she was crying until some of the tears splashed onto a top she was throwing into Miley's suitcase. They wouldn't stop, no matter what she did, and eventually Lilly just gave up and let them fall, wiping them on her sleeves and not caring if they occasionally dropped onto the clothes she was packing. They'd dry before Miley saw them.

Once the suitcase was full she hauled it from the closet and heaved it up on the bed, an oddly-shaped lump under the covers catching her attention. She thrust her hand under the blankets, fingers closing around something soft and plush, and pulled out Beary.

Lilly almost choked on a sob. She hugged the stuffed animal to her chest, kissing the top of its head and then rubbing her face against it, tears soaking into the soft fur. "You go with her," she told him. "You go with her because I can't. You take care of her."

She shoved Beary into one of the back corners of the suitcase and zipped it shut again, then went to wash her face in the guest bathroom before Miley got out of the shower.

———————————————

The passing scenery was familiar, but Miley didn't see any of it. She stared blankly out the window, trying very hard not to think about where she was going. This was going to – Well. It wouldn't ruin her career, plenty of other celebrities had gone down this road numerous times and they were still drawing audiences. But this certainly wasn't going to help, especially not when at least two-thirds of her audience was under the age of twelve and she was supposed to be providing a wholesome alternative to those other celebrities.

Though her country-girl-next-door image had gotten a bit tattered over the past year, particularly in the last couple months when Traci had used Ecstasy like a dangling carrot to get her out of the house and into the club scene. She'd been photographed coming out of several of them, but so far her publicist had been able to spin away the commotion over those, and had flatly denied that Hannah had ever so much as touched any illegal substances.

Then there was the string of boys she'd been romantically linked to by the press, the length of which had most people blinking a bit even as they were almost laughably ready to believe that at fifteen and sixteen all she was doing with them was holding hands. People believed what they wanted to believe, and they had wanted to believe in her.

And now she was going to let all of them down. Her publicist had almost died when Miley called to tell her where she was going. There was no way to spin this.

She didn't want to do it. They deserved better at her hands, the little kids who wouldn't understand why their parents suddenly didn't want them listening to her music, the older ones who had looked up to her like she was some kind of hero and would understand only too well now that she wasn't. They had been the ones who kept her going. For a long time, being up onstage had been the only thing left in her life that she'd given a shit about. Even as being constantly in the public eye had worn away at her sanity and pushed her back to the bottle so often she eventually didn't know how to leave it, singing had kept her going, had gotten her out of bed in the morning – or late afternoon – had given her purpose.

So she didn't want to repay her fans with disappointment and disillusionment. But she didn't have a choice. Things were different now. Lilly was right to think that Miley wasn't strong enough to stop drinking on her own, not now, when she couldn't remember what it had been like before, how she had done anything without it.

And she had to stop, because when she got right down to it, her fans, performing, singing,...as much as they had given her, as much as they had taken, they didn't matter. Lilly mattered.

If Lilly left, she would die.

———————————————

Lilly wandered around the house for a while after Miley left. She'd never really been in Miley's house alone for very long before. It felt weird, just like everything here. She'd wanted to go with Miley, to make sure she made it to Resolutions okay, but Miley had insisted on going alone. Lilly had talked to Brian and told him not to go anywhere else, and he worked for her, so she figured it was safe enough. Not that she really expected Miley to run away or stop for a drink first or anything, but just in case. Just in case.

She went out on the balcony in Miley's room. It was exactly the same, and she got a headache trying to figure out if the last time she'd stood there was two days or eighteen months ago. Eighteen months. She was sixteen. She'd be a sophomore now, almost a junior. How was she supposed to keep up in school?

She couldn't think about that. One thing at a time. First she needed to talk to her parents. School would have to wait until she could take a breath without feeling like there was something heavy sitting on her chest. She laid down on Miley's bed for what was only supposed to be a minute, but she hadn't gotten any sleep last night and more had happened to her in the past two days than the rest of her life.

The next thing she knew she was being shaken awake and the room was dark. "Miley?" Lilly said, and then remembered that Miley was gone. That she was supposed to be alone in the house. Her heart seized up.

"Lilly," said a voice out of the dark, and Lilly went limp in relief. Angel.

"I'm up, Angel." The shaking stopped and the room lights came on despite the fact that Angel was standing right in front of her, nowhere near the light switch. At any other time, Lilly would have shuddered at the strangeness of it, but compared to everything else she'd just been through it didn't even register. She sat up, blinking at the light. "When did you get here?"

"Just now, baby girl. Sorry to wake you."

"No, it's okay," Lilly said. "I'm glad you did, I didn't mean to sleep this long anyway, and I didn't know if you'd be back. I have so many questions." Questions she'd planned to ask Miley before getting her into rehab became the first priority.

"Come downstairs," Angel said. "There's stuff on TV I think you need to see."

Lilly got out of bed and followed her down the hall. "Angel? What happened? You know, with..." What had Angel called it? "Um, upper management?"

Angel huffed. "They're not happy. Neither am I. Looks like I won't be going back for a while."

"You mean back – " Lilly cleared her throat. " – back home?"

"No," Angel said, looking over her shoulder and pointing up towards the ceiling. "Back there."

"Oh," Lilly said dumbly. Had Angel really gotten kicked out of...heaven? Because what she'd done? Were they mad at Lilly too? What was going to happen?

They went downstairs and into the living room, the lights and TV springing on as Angel stepped off the bottom stair. All the questions crowding through Lilly's head disappeared when she saw what was on the screen. It was a story about Hannah going into rehab.

Lilly made her way over to the couch and dropped down on it, never taking her eyes from the screen. How had they found out so fast? She reached blindly for the remote and turned up the volume.

" – yet another teen star in rehab today – " She flipped rapidly through the channels.

" – can't say I'm surprised, she's just continuing the trend – "

" – going to destroy her image – "

" – until today she was considered the 'Good girl' of – "

" – precipitous drop in popularity – "

" – a lot of disappointed fans and angry parents, many who are both – "

" – probably get pregnant next – "

The story seemed to have taken over the eleven o'clock news. It was on every channel. And they were ripping her apart. Oh, Miley, Lilly thought sadly. What have I done to you?

She just hoped Miley would forgive her. Lilly got up long enough to find Miley's laptop, then settled back on the couch beside Angel. Reaction was more evenly split online, with a lot of fans coming out in support of Miley, but just as many if not more attacking her. The worst were the ones who seemed to take such delight in the news, who kept posting about how it was about time Hannah got knocked down a few notches, and maybe this would make people wake up and see her for the untalented bitch she really was.

Finally, Lilly couldn't take it anymore and put the TV on mute, shutting the laptop screen. The laptop was hot but Lilly left it sitting on her knees and leaned back against the couch, closing her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Lilly," Angel said quietly.

"Miley said she'd been able to keep it out of the press," Lilly said.

"Mostly," Angel said. "There were rumors, the occasional tabloid story, but nothing serious."

"And now this," Lilly said.

"She knew this would happen."

That didn't make Lilly feel any better. She opened her eyes and sat up, setting the laptop on the couch beside her. She wanted her mom. It was past eleven-thirty now and she might be in bed already, but Lilly didn't care. "I need to call my mom," she told Angel, starting to get up. Her phone was up in Miley's room.

Angel stopped her with a hand on her arm. "I don't think that's a good idea, Lilly."

Lilly sat back down. "Why not?"

"It would be better if you wait until morning," Angel said. "Get a good night's sleep first."

"I just slept almost eight hours," Lilly pointed out.

"You've been through a lot the past two days. I just think it would be better to wait to call your parents until you have the time to deal with them."

"Why?" Lilly pressed, worry spreading through her. "Deal with them how? Angel, what happened? Why did Miley give me all that money? Why is my phone full of Amber and Ashley and people I don't know? It's been two days, why haven't my parents tried to call _me?_ What is my life like here? What was I like? What happened to Miley? How could she end up like this? Why didn't you do something?" Her voice kept rising with each question, so that by the end she was almost shouting. She'd stood up as well, and now was towering over Angel.

"Calm down, Lilly," Angel said.

"Calm down?" Lilly said. "_Calm down?_ How can I calm down when _my best friend's in rehab and my entire life is different?_ Not to mention I _missed eighteen months of it!_"

"You will sit down and be quiet if you want answers," Angel commanded her sternly. It was unquestionably a command, and Lilly found herself obeying instantly, compelled by an edge in Angel's voice she hadn't heard before.

"That's better," Angel said. "Yes, your life is different here. I told you it would be."

"I didn't know you meant like this," Lilly said. "I didn't know."

"I know you didn't, honey," Angel said. "There wasn't time. I'm sorry about that, and I'm sorry to have taken so much time from you. It was the best I could do; that was the last time Miley was happy."

"That – that was the last time Miley was happy?" Lilly asked, thinking, That was a year and a half ago. Her stomach knotted and she wanted to cry.

"Yes," Angel said. "I'm sorry you have to deal with all of this. I know it's a lot to ask, to make you take on the consequence of the choices your other self made – "

"What choices is she making now?" Lilly interrupted.

"What?"

"What is..._she_ doing now? Where is she?" But she already knew the answer.

"She's where you were," Angel said. "She's in your world."

Lilly couldn't stop the tears that spilled out of her eyes. It wasn't fair. Angel reached out to wipe her tears away and Lilly shrugged her hand off, wiping them herself. "And Miley, or Hannah, or whoever she was, she's there, too?"

"Yes. And, unfortunately, I've been forbidden from ever going back there, so neither one of them will know what's happened to them. They'll have to figure it out themselves."

"So?" Lilly snapped. "They're lucky. It's better there."

"From your perspective," Angel said.

"Does that mean she gets the time I lost?" Lilly asked. "It does, doesn't it? That's great, that's just perfect, I get the sucky life and lose eighteen months, and she gets the good life with an extra year and a half attached. You brought Miley back in time to get me, why couldn't you bring me here the same time Miley first came?"

"It would have disrupted the chain of causality," Angel said.

Lilly stared at her, confusion making her forget her anger and upset for a moment. "Huh?"

Angel sighed. "Time travel is tricky business, Lilly. Trust me when I say this is how it had to be. And that your other self will need that extra time."

"What does that mean?" Lilly muttered.

"Lilly," Angel said. "The reason your parents haven't called you is that you haven't spoken with them in almost a year. Not since the day you got that money."

Lilly stopped breathing for a moment. "Wh-what?" she managed.

"You got into a fight with your mother," Angel explained. "You'd already been fighting, with both your parents, for several months. They didn't like you hanging out with Miley. You were blowing off school because of it, sleeping all day and staying out all night at parties. They were concerned that you were drinking."

"Was I?" Lilly asked.

"Yes. You are not an alcoholic," Angel said quickly when Lilly looked over at her, afraid. "You were very careful about that." The way she said it made Lilly wonder what she hadn't been careful about. "And you weren't drinking to forget like Miley was. The day the money came through, your mother threw a fit because you hadn't been home in three days. She put her foot down and said there was no way she'd accept that behavior from you as long as you were living under her roof. It was poor timing; she didn't know about the money. You'd told her you'd just gotten ten million dollars and you'd be happy not to live under her roof, and be happy to take both of them to court to get emancipated if they tried to stop you leaving. And then you left, and you haven't seen or talked to them since."

Lilly shrank down into the couch, crossing her arms over her chest. That couldn't be right. Her parents wouldn't just let her go like that.

"They tried to contact you," Angel continued. "You wouldn't take their calls, and then you changed your number. They found out where you lived and your father kept trying to visit until you hired a lawyer. They stopped after that."

Lilly looked down at the dark pink fabric covering her knees. I've been wearing the same clothes for two days, she thought irrelevantly. It was easier to think about that than about what Angel had just told her. The fabric was creased and wrinkled because she'd slept in it. Back home, her dad would have made her iron the pants before leaving the house.

She was in another universe, and Miley was in rehab, and she didn't even have her parents. She'd never felt more alone. And now she knew what Angel had meant about waiting until morning, because she was tired. She was more tired than she could ever remember being, and she thought that sleeping might be the only way to keep from crying more, and she was tired of crying. Her eyes were sore and her throat was scratchy and her bones were made of lead. She wanted to curl up in bed and wake up somewhere that made sense.

She was so tired she didn't know if she could lift her head, but she forced it up, and it was so heavy it made her neck ache. "I'm going to bed," she told Angel, who only nodded.

"Lilly," Angel called after her as she trudged up the stairs. Lilly turned slowly to look back at her. "That's how things were. It's up to you to decide how they will be."

Lilly stared at her a second before resuming her climb. She didn't have the energy to make any other response. She went back to Miley's room and almost flopped onto the bed as soon as she walked through the door, but she was determined not to sleep in her clothes again and get them more wrinkled, so she borrowed pajamas from Miley's dresser and fumbled them on, already half asleep as she did up the buttons on the top. Then she pulled down the covers and laid down, unconscious before she could pull them back up.

———————————————

**Poor Lilly. She totally gets slammed in this story. It'll get better, Lilly! ...Eventually.**

**Next chapter Monday.**


	3. Fall Apart Again

**Of the two books I read this weekend, one had a character named Oliver, the other had one named Jackson. This amused me far more than it should have. Especially the Oliver one.  
**

———————————————

**Chapter Two: Fall Apart Again**

———————————————

_where  
are we living now  
on which side which side  
and will you be there_

- W.S. Merwin, "The Bridges"

———————————————

**21 March 2008**

Her empty stomach finally nudged her to wakefulness. The clock by the bed read eleven fifty-three; she'd slept just over twelve hours. Lilly stretched and sat up in the bed, for the first time waking without being confused about where she was and what was happening. Everything seemed so much clearer this morning, so much easier to accept. She thought she might have been in shock last night.

So she hadn't talked to her parents in a year. She would today. So her other self was horrible and her life sucked. It was Lilly's now. She would fix it.

Determined, Lilly got out of bed and took a shower, running it cold for a minute at the end and letting the chill add an extra jolt to her clarity. Despite her good intentions the night before, she'd forgotten to fold her clothes and they were now a mass of wrinkles from lying crumpled on the floor all night. The prospect of putting on dirty clothes wasn't very appealing anyway, so she took some of Miley's. Miley wouldn't mind. She was always trying to get Lilly to borrow her clothes.

The door to the guest room was closed when she went downstairs. Did angels need to sleep? She guessed so.

There still wasn't any food in the house. That was something else she'd have to do today. She almost laughed at the ridiculousness of it. To Do: 1. Fix life 2. Buy groceries.

She finished the three English muffins left in the package, not caring this time that they were freezerburned. The last thing she'd had to eat was the hot dog backstage at the concert. Angel came down just as Lilly finished. She swallowed the last bite guiltily and mumbled good morning, hoping angels didn't need to eat. She wiped the crumbs off her hands on her pant legs, belatedly remembering they were Miley's and she should treat them better than she normally did her own.

Angel got a glass of water but didn't make a move to look in the fridge, seating herself across from Lilly and returning her greeting instead. "Why doesn't Miley have a maid?" Lilly asked, the thought popping into her head. A maid could get groceries. "I mean, I – the other me, _she_ has one, so why doesn't Miley?"

"Miley doesn't like people in the house," Angel said. "She doesn't let anyone come anymore. The only person she still has on staff at the house is Mr. Corelli, and even he doesn't come; she pays him on the off-chance her father would notice if she didn't have a tutor. She hasn't kept up with school. Neither have you. You haven't been since you moved, and only went occasionally before that."

Well, at least she wouldn't have to worry about being behind. Or that a school somewhere would be wondering why she hadn't shown up the last three days. Lilly picked up her cell phone and held it a minute, thinking. "Anything else I should know before I call?" she asked.

"Yes," Angel said. "Your parents are still married."

Lilly looked at her in surprise. Of all the things Angel could have said, that was maybe the most unexpected. She wouldn't have believed that anything, well, _good_ could have happened here. Or was it good? Were they still married but fighting all the time? Her parents' divorce had been amicable, and they still got along well enough that most holidays were spent with the whole family together. Perhaps here they were married but turned bitter, angry, hateful. She would wait to see. She wasn't going to get her hopes up, not in this place.

She called the house first. It rang and rang until the answering machine picked up, her brother's voice asking her to leave a name and number. Of course, Lilly thought, mentally kicking herself. It was Friday, they'd both be at work, and Ben would be in school. She tried her mother's cell phone next, slipping from the chair and pacing anxiousy around the kitchen, her phone pressed tight to her ear to be sure she didn't miss anything.

Her mother's voice came on the line and Lilly stifled a sob. It was only the voicemail. Maybe her mother was busy. Or maybe she just wasn't taking Lilly's calls anymore. All of aching loneliness from last night had come rushing back when she heard her mom, and now her determination to make things right seemed like a very fragile, unsteady bridge suspending her over a deep chasm of terror at the possibility that she would fail.

"M-mom?" she said tremulously once the beep had sounded. "It's Lilly. I...I was hoping we could talk." She hung up quickly, before she could start crying, realizing as she did that if her other self had changed phone numbers her mother would have no way of knowing it had been Lilly calling. That made her feel a bit better.

She tried her father's cell phone next and got voicemail again. She hung up and in desperation dialed his office number, turning her back to Angel in case there was no answer and she did start to cry. She heard Angel get up and go back up the stairs, giving her privacy she was grateful for.

His secretary answered on the third ring, with a brisk, "Alan Truscott's office, how may I help you?"

"Yes," Lilly said, feeling like the bridge under her was a little more solid. This would work. "I need to speak to Mr. Truscott, please."

"Mr. Truscott is in a meeting, could I take a message?"

No, Lilly thought. No, you can't. "Could you go get him, please? Tell him it's important. This is his daughter."

"His dau – Lilly?" the woman said, startled. Back home, her father's secretary had been named Helen, but Lilly had only spoken to her once or twice and couldn't tell if this was the same woman. "I'll get him right away."

The hold music came on, something classical, Bach or Beethoven, she could never tell any of them apart. It was replaced moments later by her father, sounding worried and breathless. "Lilly?"

"Daddy?" she cried.

"Oh, god, Lilly! I can't believe – are you okay? Where are you?"

"I'm at Mi – at Hannah's," Lilly corrected herself.

"Hannah Montana's?" her dad asked. "But she just went into rehab! What happened? Did she OD? Were you there? Have you been drinking? Doing drugs? Do I need to call 911?"

"No, Dad," she interjected, finally getting a word in edgewise. "You don't need to call anyone. I'm fine, I haven't been drinking or doing drugs, I promise. I just wanted to call. To apologize."

"Apologize?" he asked.

"Yeah," Lilly said. "I-I shouldn't have...done what I did – " A blanket apology would have to do; better to avoid specifics when she knew so few of them. " – and I'm sorry. And I thought...maybe I could come see you."

"I – ," he said, sounding confused and uncertain, and then, "Yes, of course. I'll come right away."

"No," Lilly said swiftly. Miley didn't like people in the house. "I'll come to your office. It'll be better that way."

All right," he said slowly. "We can...maybe we can go to lunch?"

"Perfect," Lilly said, her stomach growling and her heart lifting at the offer. Her dad was still talking to her, he wanted to go to lunch with her. She would fix this. She would fix everything. "I'll be there soon, okay?"

"All right," he said again. "Lilly?"

"Yeah?" Her aimless pacing had carried her around the couch and piano and over by the back door. She moved the blind to the side and peered through the glass towards the beach, remembering Miley's words from yesterday and wondering how true they were.

"I'm glad you called."

Lilly swallowed. "Me too, dad. I'll see you in a few minutes. I love you." Light glinted off of something about where Rico's would be. Oliver with a telescope? It seemed unthinkable, except she knew nothing was here.

"I love you, too," her father said, faint, surprised, and Lilly hung up and pulled the door open, getting off the porch before the hot sand reminded her it would be smart to do this with shoes.

She found a pair of Miley's sandals in the living room, and while she was being smart she called Brian and asked him to come to the house, and then she set off for the beach, her determination hardening to steel under her.

———————————————

The beach looked pretty much the same: same tables, same boardwalk, same bright spots of bathing-suit color out on the water. Lilly was glad of that, glad that at least most physical locations seemed only slightly altered if at all. She didn't know if she'd be able to deal with finding her way around a town gone as unfamiliar as her life in it.

Rico's was the same, except for the telescope set up on the sand in front of the shack. It was pointed back towards Miley's house. Lilly stalked towards it, fully intending to tip it over and maybe find a rock to bash in the lens. Then she saw Oliver.

He was sitting alone at one of the tables with his back to her, and he had on some kind of bizarre, bright yellow jacket with diamonds and dollar signs printed all over it, but she would know him anywhere.

"Oliver!" she yelled, stomping over to him. "What the heck is this?"

He looked up, his face going slack in surprise. "Lilly? What the hell are you doing here?"

"Never mind that, Oliver," she said. "What are you doing with that?" She waved wildly at the telescope. "Are you spying on M – on Hannah?"

"Yeah," he said, the surprise mixing with confusion. "Why, you wanna take a look? I have to warn you, though, she's in rehab so there's not much to look at. It's really killing our business."

"Oliver, that's horrible!" Lilly said. "It's, it's despicable. How could you do something like that? You have to stop. _Now._"

"Well, screw you, too," Oliver snapped. Any semblance of friendliness disappeared from his face and he stood up facing her. "Five bucks a pop, that's how I can do this. And what the hell makes you think you get to be so high and mighty? What the _hell_ makes you think _you_ have a right to come talk to me like this?"

Everyone else on the beach was looking at them now, but Lilly ignored them. "I've known you since preschool, Oliver, that's what gives me the right!"

Oliver laughed bitterly. "Preschool? _Preschool?_ You think I care about preschool after what you did to me?" Lilly's face twisted in confusion. "Yeah, don't think I've forgotten about that. You wanted to get in good with those bitches Amber and Ashley and you sold me out in a heartbeat and never looked back. And you know what? Screw it, I'm over it, Lilly, I've got my own life now, but don't you think you can just show up here and start telling _me_ that I'm a horrible person when you're one of the most opportunistic bitches I've ever met."

"Oliver," Lilly said shakily. What had she done? What had her other self done? She felt like the sand was eroding under her feet. "I – "

"No, fuck you, Lilly," Oliver broke in. "I don't need this. I especially don't need you coming down here acting like I'm a bastard taking advantage of Hannah when I know you pretended to be her friend and then split as soon as you hit her up for ten million."

"But...," Lilly said. That wasn't what Miley had said.

"Yeah, I know about that," Oliver said. "Our moms still talk sometimes. So don't try to give me shit about making a buck off Hannah. You've already made millions more off her than I ever will."

Lilly crossed her arms over her chest, hugging herself defensively. Maybe he was right. Maybe the other Lilly shouldn't have taken Miley's money. But that didn't make what Oliver was doing any less wrong. "Oliver, listen to me," she pleaded. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for what I did, I'm sorry for everything. But you have to stop this. Think about what you're doing! She's a person and you're spying on her! She – " She'd almost said that Miley was his friend.

"I don't want your damn apology, Lilly," Oliver said. "It's way too little, way too late. And maybe I didn't make myself clear, but I sure as hell don't want your damn lecture. So why don't you just get the fuck out of here and not come back for another couple years? Better yet, don't ever come back. If I never see your ugly-ass face again it'll be too soon."

Oliver, Lilly thought desperately. Oliver, please. I need you. "You don't mean that," she said.

Oliver leaned over and pushed her on the shoulders, making her stumble backwards. "What part of 'fuck off, bitch' don't you understand?" he said, smiling nastily.

The part where you're saying it to _me_, Lilly thought. She could feel the all-too-familiar tightness behind her eyes that meant tears were building up, but she wasn't going to cry in front of him. She couldn't. She wouldn't give him that.

So she forced herself to choke out one more apology, because she knew if she didn't she would hate herself, because she didn't know if she would see him again, and then she ran. She knocked over the telescope on the way. Oliver screamed something after her, an insult or a threat, but she was already crying too hard to hear it.

———————————————

It was past one-thirty when the car pulled up in front of her dad's office building. Lilly had decided on the way over. She was going to give back the money. It wasn't hers, after all, it was Miley's, and it seemed that the money hadn't brought anything Lilly wanted. And maybe giving it back would help convince her parents that she was serious when she said she was sorry. Maybe then she could try to talk to Oliver again.

And anyway it just didn't feel right, taking something like that from Miley. The fact that both Miley and her father were millionaires many times over and Lilly and her parents weren't had never been an issue in their friendship. The Stewarts weren't conspicuous about displaying their wealth, and Robby Ray had kept a tight rein on how much of Miley's money she could access. There was no way Miley could have gotten her hands on ten million dollars to give to Lilly back home, not that Lilly ever would have asked.

You wanted it, Miley had said when Lilly asked why she'd given the money to her other self. She must have wanted to move out, Lilly thought. She must have been planning it. The fight wasn't her mother's fault, the other Lilly had probably been glad of the excuse.

You pretended to be her friend and then split, Oliver had said. Lilly shivered, remembering the hate in his eyes. Had she done something to Miley like she had to Oliver? Lilly didn't know if she'd be able to stand it if she had. But whether Oliver or Miley was telling the truth about why she had the money, the fact remained that it wasn't hers.

Lilly opened the car door and asked Brian to wait while she went up to get her dad. She would miss having a driver once she gave the money back. There was a driver's license in her newly inherited purse, but Lilly hadn't even been allowed to drive around an empty parking lot yet.

Her father was waiting in the lobby, just inside the doors. "Lilly!" he called as soon as she came through the double glass doors, and she ran to him.

"H-hi," she stuttered, stopping short, wanting to hug him but not sure if he would welcome it after what had happened with Oliver. People are different here, she could hear Miley saying in her head. You can't expect them to be like they were. You'll only get hurt.

But a second later her dad caught her up, pulling her close. He wasn't an imposing man, or a muscular one, being short and a bit portly – soft around the edges, her mother used to call it – but Lilly felt safe in his arms, and some of the tension she'd stored up the past few days left her body as he held her. She pressed her face against his suit jacket and fought to keep tears from escaping as well. Everything made her want to cry these days, and she was tired of it. She didn't want to cry anymore, especially over good things.

"Sorry," she said, scrubbing at her eyes when they broke apart. "I'm just so happy to see you. It seems like it's been forever since the last time." It had only been a week for her, but it felt every bit as long as the year it was for him.

"It's okay," he said, his own eyes shining with extra moisture. "It has been a long time. Come here, let me look at you." He held her at arm's length and studied her closely. It was the same searching look Lilly used when looking in the mirror now, trying to commit this strange, familiar face to memory, to reach the point where she would recognize it automatically as her own and not be reminded each time of the eighteen months she'd lost.

She flushed and looked away from the pride on his face. How could he still be proud of her after what she'd – what the other Lilly had done? She peeked at him out of the corner of her eye. He had lost some of his sandy-brown hair since she'd seen him, but otherwise looked just the same. He was her father, Lilly thought. That was how.

"You're so grown-up now," he said, and she smiled at him awkwardly. She wasn't. She wasn't grown-up at all. She didn't want to be, she didn't want to have to deal with any of this. She wanted to be in history right now, daydreaming about how she would blow off her English homework after school to go to the skatepark with Oliver or shopping with Miley.

They stood in uneasy silence for a moment before her father cleared his throat. "Should we go eat, then? We can talk better away from all this."

Lilly became aware of the other people milling through the lobby on their way to and from lunch and flushed further. "Yeah. Hey, can we go to Coogies?" she asked eagerly. It was one of their favorite places.

"Really?" he asked, laughing slightly as though he didn't think she was serious, and he looked surprised when she nodded vigorously. "But you...I thought you'd want to go out to Seventh Ray for one of their salads."

"Gross," Lilly said, wrinkling up her nose. He looked at her oddly. "What?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Nothing," he said. "Nothing. You're just...nothing. Let's go to Coogies. My car's in the parking lot, it's not far."

"Actually, I, uh, I kind of have a car waiting for us outside." She scuffed one sandal uncomfortably against the highly polished marble floor tile.

There was a pause before he answered. "All right," he said softly, and she didn't look at him.

She led him out of the building and to the car. It was a short drive to the restaurant, and most of the lunch crowd was gone when they got there, so they were seated immediately. She ordered without looking at the menu, and Lilly chewed the side of her tongue when her dad's eyebrow edged up at that, though he did the same thing.

"Tell me what happened," he said as soon as the waitress took the unopened menus and left.

She traced the outline of one of the red squares on the checkered tablecloth with her thumb and fidgeted in her seat. She didn't know most of what happened, and what she did know she couldn't tell him."You heard about Hannah," she started. "Miley." She glanced up at him. "I call her Miley." He nodded and she focused on the tablecloth again. "I made her...I mean, I'm the one who got her to go to rehab. I was afraid if she didn't she'd..."

"That was a good thing you did, Lilly," he said.

She dug her thumbnail into the tablecloth, making a little dent to mark the border between red and white, and avoided looking at him. A good thing? Maybe not, but it was necessary. She just hoped Miley understood that.

"Anyway," she continued. "I guess...seeing her, like that...it kind of made me realize how much I missed you and mom and Ben." She spoke haltingly, making up the lie as she went along. "And I just...I wanted to tell you how sorry I am, and try to fix things. Because I do miss you." She looked up finally and met his eyes. "And I really am sorry."

The arrival of their food interrupted whatever he was going to say. Lilly's stomach rumbled and her mood shifted as the tantalizing smell of her cheeseburger reached her, and she attacked the burger almost before the waitress had the plate on the table.

Alan chuckled. "Slow down, Lillygoat, you'll choke," he teased, and Lilly grinned at him, her cheeks bulging around her food. She'd never been so glad to hear him use that stupid nickname in her life.

"Lilly," he said while she continued to wolf down her burger, his voice losing its teasing and becoming serious. "Please don't take this the wrong way, because I'm thrilled to see you and I certainly hope to see more of you, but I need to ask what it is you want. I mean, is this a one-time visit, or..."

Lilly finished chewing the bite in her mouth and swallowed it, knowing that he wasn't sure what she meant showing up like this, that he couldn't know if her apology was something she'd done offhandly out of old guilt or if she really wanted to try to repair their relationship. "No," she said. "I mean, I don't want it to be. I want...I want you in my life again. All of you guys. And...I need your help. I want to give back the money."

He stared at her. "You're serious?" he asked after moment and she nodded. "Why would you want to do that?"

"It isn't mine," Lilly said, picking at a french fry. "And all it's done is mess things up. I don't want it anymore."

"Where are you going to live if you don't have that money?" he asked.

The food in her stomach turned to cement. She'd thought...she'd thought she would live with her parents. She'd thought she would live at home. But evidently he didn't see that as an option. "I – I guess I'll stay with Miley," she said. If Miley would have her. Her gaze fell on her plate, but the sight of her half-eaten burger – so appetizing a minute ago – made her nauseous and she pushed the plate away.

"Are you sure about this, Lilly?"

"Yes," Lilly said. "I have to do it. I can't explain why, but things are different now. I don't want that life anymore. I want to give back the money, I want to go back to school, I want...I want us to be a family again."

He put his hand over hers on the table and she looked up at him. "We'll always be a family," he said, and she forced herself to smile, wondering what that meant in this world. "What is it you need my help with?"

She sat back in her chair, slipping her hand from his grasp. "I don't really know what to do," she said uncertainly. "I mean, I guess I need to sell the place in L.A., and the cars, and I have a driver and a maid, and I don't know how to actually, you know, give her the money back."

"Don't you have someone managing it?" he asked.

"Um," she said. How was she supposed to know? She hated this. She hated not knowing anything about her own life. "I guess so, I mean, someone at the bank does, I think, I don't remember his name." She prayed that was at least close to right.

He frowned. "With that much money, you should have your own accountant." She almost groaned. Trust her dad to get sidetracked by totally unimportant details. "You'll need to talk to the bank. I can go with you if you'd like. And I can help with the rest as well. I have a co-worker whose husband is in real estate here, I'll see if he can put me in touch with someone good in L.A. Are you finished?"

"What?" Lilly said. He guestured towards her plate. "Oh. Yeah, I'm done."

"Let's go back to my office, then, and I'll make some calls."

The rest of the afternoon was spent in his office, with Lilly slouching further and further down in the chair in front of his desk as he talked to real estate agents and car dealerships. They were supposed to meet with two of the real estate agents at the townhouse Monday afternoon, and her dad said he'd take the day off and go with her to the bank Tuesday morning. Five o'clock came faster than Lilly expected, and her father looked at her across the desk, his face washed-out and colorless in the flourscent lights.

"Come back to the house with me," he said. "I know your mother wants to see you."

Lilly didn't know about that. It had been hours, and her mother hadn't called back. But she went anyway.

The ride there was mostly silent. Lilly told Brian he could go for the night and rode with her father, watching the buildings slide past and trying to quiet the quesitons battering the inside of her skull. She wanted to know how things were with her parents, how it was they were still married. But she couldn't just ask why they weren't divorced. She wanted to know that her mother would forgive her, that everything would be okay, but she didn't think her father could tell her that. He'd never been a good liar.

Her mother's car was in the garage when they got there, and there was an old, beat-up Nissan Sentra that Lilly hadn't seen before parked on the driveway behind it. Ben's car? He'd been saving up for one.

Her house was so familiar it made her chest ache. She wanted to get out of the car and run upstairs and hide under her covers, but she didn't know if her bed would still be there. Her parents might have made her room into an office or something.

"Heather?" her dad called as they went through the front door, Lilly lagging a step behind.

"Hey, dad," Ben said, coming out of the kitchen. "We're gonna order Chinese, what do you – " He stopped when he caught sight of Lilly.

"Hi, Ben," Lilly said weakly. She gave a little wave and then blushed at how stupid she must look.

Ben didn't say a word. He turned on his heel and went back in the kitchen, reappearing a second later pushing their mother in front of him. "Ben, what are you – would you quit pushing – " He pointed wordlessly at Lilly and Heather fell silent.

"Hi, mom," Lilly said softly.

"Hello, Lillian," her mother said coldly. "What are you doing here?"

"I, um, I left you a message," Lilly managed.

"Yes, I was planning to return that," Heather said. "Sometime next year."

"Heather!" her father broke in.

"No, it's okay, Dad," Lilly said, squeezing her hands into fists. "I deserved that." She didn't, she tried to tell herself. She hadn't done anything; her other self had. But it was getting hard to remember that. Hard not to feel responsible, because the other Lilly was still her, who she could have been, who she had been here. She hadn't done what the other Lilly had but she would have in her alternate's place. The proof was all around her, and in that way it was her fault. In that way, she deserved this. "I came to apologize, Mom."

"Apologize?" her mom laughed. "Whatever for?"

Lilly's head dropped and she focused on the carpet under her shoes. Obviously, her mom had no intentions of making this easy for her like her father had. Lilly hadn't expected her to: she'd gotten her own temper and ability to hold a grudge straight from her mother. "For everything. I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Heather said tartly. "Don't you think it's a little late for that?"

"I know," Lilly said. She risked a glance up at Ben, silently pleading with him to understand, to forgive her. He looked away. "I know what I did was horrible, and I probably don't have any right to come back here like this, but you're my mom." She turned towards Ben. "And you're my brother. And I just want us to be a family."

Heather crossed her arms over her chest. "That last time I tried to be your mother, you threatened to take me to court. The last time your father tried to contact you, you hired a lawyer, who showed up _at my office_ – do you know what everyone was saying about me after that?"

Lilly bowed her head again. "I'm sorry," she said, knowing full well how inadequate that was.

"You're sorry," Heather repeated, clearly not impressed.

"I think you should listen to her, Heather," Alan said, and Lilly's mother shot him an annoyed look.

"I want to make it up to you," Lilly said. "I'll do anything you want. I know I was..." She trailed off, not wanting to put into words what she thought about the other Lilly. Not wanting to say that about herself. "But I'm different now, I promise. Everything's different now. I don't care about partying or clothes or money, or any of that stuff. I just want to have you guys in my life again."

"Those are nice words, Lilly," her mother said. "But you lied to us for months about school, and going out, and drinking. I don't see why I should believe you now."

"I'm giving back the money," Lilly said.

Her mother raised an eyebrow and looked at Alan. "She's serious," he said. "I spent several hours today helping her set things in motion."

"Fine," her mom said briskly. "If you're serious then you can move back here and go back to school and prove it to us. And you'll have nothing more to do with that Hannah girl."

Lilly's hopes had skyrocketed at the first part of her mother's statement; now they plummeted again. "I can't do that, Mom."

"You can and you will," Heather said. "This is her fault – "

"Mi – Hannah had nothing to do with this!" Lilly said.

"This entire thing is her fault," her mother argued. "That money didn't fall out of thin air, and none of this would have happened if you hadn't started hanging around her. If you really want to make up for what you did then you _will not_ have anything to do with her."

"She's my friend, mom!" Lilly said. "She's coming home from rehab in a month and I have to be there for her. She doesn't have anyone else."

"She'll have her money back," her mother said. "That's enough. If you really meant what you said about being a part of this family again – "

"I meant it," Lilly said. "You don't know how much I want that. But I'm not going to walk out on Miley." They stared at each other in silence, neither one backing down.

"Lilly...," her father said after a moment.

Lilly sighed. This wasn't working. She needed to get out of here, before she said something really wrong and this ended up like her meeting with Oliver. She didn't think she could handle it if her mother hated her, too. "Maybe I should go. I hope...I hope I can see you again soon."

"I'll call you tomorrow," her dad said.

"Okay." Lilly hugged him. "Thanks," she whispered in his ear. "I love you." She turned to her mother. "Goodnight, mom. I love you."

Heather sniffed and went back into the kitchen without a word. Lilly and her dad looked at each other sadly. "I'll talk to her," Alan said, hugging her again. "She'll come around."

"I hope so," Lilly said. "Goodnight, Ben." He just watched as she walked out the door.

Lilly drew in a deep breath and expelled it forcefully into the rapidly cooling air outside. So much for fixing everything. She'd probably just made everything into even more of a mess, and she might end up living with Jackson on the beach besides.

"Lilly!" Ben called from behind her, and she turned, waiting while he jogged down the driveway to meet her on the sidewalk.

"Yeah?" she asked.

He stared at her through the deepening shadows. "Why did you come back?"

She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "I told you," she said. "I missed you. I missed all of you, and I shouldn't have done what I did, and I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

"Yeah?" he said derisively. "So what?"

He was back in the house before she could breathe well enough to respond. Her shoulders slumped as she looked at her house under the now-dark sky. Warm yellow light spilled out of the windows into the blackness and she stood wrestling with a longing that threatened to overwhelm her.

She wanted to go back inside, to talk to her mom and Ben, to make things better, but she couldn't. She didn't know how, and it was too much. It was too much. This world kept pushing her to her breaking point and past it, and she couldn't take any more tonight.

Her mother appeared in one of the windows. She met Lilly's eyes for a long moment before twitching the curtains shut, her face impassive, and it didn't even hurt. Later it would, but now she was too tired and empty for that. Lilly turned and walked back to Miley's through the gloom.

———————————————

She needed to go the townhouse and search through it, try to find out anything she could about this life. She should go tonight, so she'd be ready if her father had questions when he called tomorrow, but she couldn't face spending the night alone in a strange place.

The house phone was ringing as Lilly let herself in through Miley's back door. She flipped on the light and glared at the phone balefully. No way was she gonna answer that. She sat down on the couch and had just leaned back and closed her eyes when the answering machine clicked on and Miley's voice had her scrambling up to race for the phone.

"Lilly?" Miley said through the speaker. "Are you there? I – "

Lilly snatched up the phone and hit the talk button. "Hey," she said breathlessly. "Sorry, I just got in. They let you call? I didn't know you could do that."

"Yeah," Miley said, sounding relieved. "Yeah, they let us call sometimes. I tried calling yesterday but there wasn't an answer."

"I must have been asleep," Lilly said. "I didn't even hear the phone, I was out cold." The blinking red light on the answering machine informed her 99 messages had been left last night and today. There might be more, but that was as high as the display went. She held down the delete button until the total winked back to zero. She wasn't listening to those, and she didn't think Miley would want to, either.

"Oh," Miley said. "Well, I'm, um, I'm glad you got some rest. I just wanted to make sure you were...I just wanted to see how you're doing."

"I'm okay," Lilly said, lying through her teeth. She didn't want to talk about it, and Miley didn't need to be worrying about her anyway. She had problems enough of her own. "How are you doing, that's the question."

"I'm...I don't know. It's hard," Miley told her. "But it's good. I...I'm glad you made me come."

Lilly smiled, feeling hopeful for the first time all night. "Good," she said, taking the phone and going to sit back on the couch. "That's good."

"So where were you?" Miley asked.

"What?"

"You said you just got in."

"Oh," Lilly said. "Right. I was, um, I was buying groceries." She'd completely forgotten about groceries. "Hey, um, Angel is here." At least, she thought Angel was still here. She tilted her head back to look at the ceiling as if she could see through it and tell if Angel was upstairs.

"She is?" Miley asked. "That's...that's good, she can help you. Could you – do you think you could tell her I'm sorry, and thank you from me?"

"I'll tell her," Lilly promised, though she didn't see what Miley had to apologize for.

"Thanks," Miley said. "Listen, I have to go, they don't let us talk for long."

"Okay," Lilly said. "If they let you call again, call my cell, okay? In case I'm not here." She'd have to go to the townhouse sometime, and she didn't want to miss Miley calling.

There was a pause before Miley spoke again. "I, um, I don't have the number."

"Oh," Lilly said. "It's, um – " She leaned forward and grabbed her purse off the coffee table, digging the phone out and looking up the number. She read it off to Miley, not liking the reminder that her other self hadn't been around. She wanted to ask Miley if what Oliver had said was true, but she couldn't. She was too afraid of what the answer would be.

"I don't know when I'll be able to call again," Miley said.

"It's okay," Lilly said. "Just concentrate on getting better. I know you can do it."

"Yeah," Miley said absently. "Lilly?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks," Miley said. "I – Thanks."

"What for?" Lilly asked.

"Everything," Miley said. "I...I have to go."

"Okay," Lilly said, and they exchanged goodbyes and hung up. Lilly rested her head on the back of the couch, fighting to stay awake. She'd barely been up for eight hours and all she wanted to do was crawl back in bed for at least the next twelve. She wondered if it was some kind of reaction to the time travel, or universe travel, or whatever-the-heck it was she'd done. Yawning, she pulled herself up off the couch and went upstairs to see if Angel could tell her.

The door to the guest room was shut and no light showed from under it, so Lilly thought better of asking her question and was just going to pass by the room when the door opened to reveal Angel.

"Oh," Lilly said. "I thought you were asleep."

"No," Angel said. "Come on in." She retreated back into the room, but she left the door open and the lights came on, so Lilly followed her.

"I just wanted to know if you knew why I've been so tired the past few days," Lilly said, flopping on her back on the bed next to where Angel was sitting. "I thought it might be the time travel or whatever."

Angel laughed softly. "No, it's not the time travel."

Lilly yawned again and mumbled what was meant to be, "What is it, then?"

Angel seemed to understand. "You've been through a lot the past couple days," she said. "Your body's just having trouble keeping up with the rollercoaster you've been riding."

Lilly sat up and didn't say anything. She'd rather it'd been the time travel.

"You were gone a while," Angel said.

"I saw my dad," Lilly said. "He was great. He..." She could feel tears welling up and was too tired to stop them. "He's gonna help me sell the place in L.A."

"That's good," Angel said. "What about the rest of your family?"

The tears spilled out over her lashes. "Ben hates me," Lilly sobbed. "And my mom, she – " She couldn't talk after that. Angel pulled Lilly into an embrace and Lilly hid her face against Angel's shoulder. She couldn't stop crying, and she hated it here, she hated it, she hated it, she wanted to go home.

———————————————

**So the thing with Lilly's parents still being married is pure laziness on my part, involving me not wanting to rewrite certain things after the show decided they're divorced to make a plotline for Heather Locklear. (I was not happy. I worry about Lilly's dad now. A lot. Yes, I am quite aware of how weird that is, thank you.) At first I was just going to be all, "well, screw canon," because sometimes you have to, but then I figured, hey, it's an AU anyway, why not use that?**

**Sorry this chapter was shorter, it just worked out that way. The next chapter will be up Friday. It'll be about as long as this one, then the last two will be longer.**


	4. Fix Things Up

**I just want to say thanks again for all the reviews. You guys are seriously awesome. Shoutout to mileymadness: wow, you really know how to leave a review! Thanks, and I hear you on the school-suckage issue. I'm glad this is helping.**

**And an amazing lover: I am so happy I'm not the only one. It's just...he has a bad back! What if his back goes out and no one is there? **_**What then?**_** Poor Lilly's dad. **

———————————————

**Chapter Three: Fix Things Up**

———————————————

_The pond has frozen over.  
We crouch at the edge.  
The fish are on their sides in the thin  
slice of water between the ice  
and the bottom of the pond,  
breathing slowly._

- Emily Dobson, "In the Thin"

———————————————

**22 – 25 March 2008**

Lilly woke the next morning in Miley's bed with choppy memories of stumbling down the hall once she'd cried herself out. She lay still a moment when she woke up, eyes still closed, hoping as hard as she could that she was in her own bed, in her own house, that this had all been dream, but she already knew it wasn't.

Sighing, she made herself open her eyes, her gaze falling on the picture of Miley's mother that Miley had on the table beside her bed. How many times must Miley have wished her mom hadn't died? And that hadn't come true.

Lilly rolled out of bed and stumbled to the shower, borrowing more of Miley's clothes when she got out. She should pack up some clothes to bring back with her while she was at the townhouse today. She couldn't keep stealing Miley's clothes forever.

The guest room door was closed as usual, but Lilly knocked and opened it, not caring this morning if she woke Angel. But Angel wasn't sleeping, she was sitting cross-legged on the bed. It looked like she was meditating. "Good morning, Lilly," she said, unfolding her legs and letting them hang off the side of the bed.

"Miley said to tell you thanks, and that she's sorry," Lilly said.

"She doesn't need to be apologizing to me," Angel said.

"I didn't think she did," Lilly snapped.

Angel blinked, then smiled painfully. "Fair enough, baby girl."

Lilly crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe. "I'm going into L.A. to look around the townhouse. It might be helpful if you come."

Angel nodded. "Of course."

They stopped for breakfast on the way. Angel got a cheese omelet and hash browns and two biscuits, and Lilly decided to stop trying to figure out what angels did and didn't do. Lilly paid with some of the cash in her purse, feeling guilty as she did so, but she had to eat and groceries would have cost money, too.

Brian waited for them in the parking lot. He'd been surprised when Lilly asked if he wanted to join them but covered it quickly, shaking his head and politely declining. The drive into L.A. took just under forty-five minutes. Lilly spent the time replaying her conversation with her family last night, trying to figure out where she'd gone wrong and what she could do to make it better, and analyzing her parents' interactions for some inkling of what their relationship was here.

She had to try three different keys in the lock before she found the right one. As much as she had hated waking up in this place that first morning, she was glad now that when they stepped through the door into the entryway, she at least had a rough idea of the layout of what was supposed to be her house.

"Hello?" she called, wondering if the maid was always here or just came on certain days.

"No one else is here," Angel said.

"Oh," Lilly said, relaxing a bit. The idea of having to interact with someone else who had known her other self made her nervous. "Okay, so...I guess the first thing to do is see if I have any files, or papers, or anything for my dad to look at."

There was a study in the smallest room upstairs. Her dad would be happy: she did have an accountant, and a broker. That was about the extent of useful information Lilly and Angel were able to extract from the papers in the desk. Lilly copied down the accountant's name and phone number from the company header of a letter he'd sent and left it on top of the desk so her dad could call him.

She didn't understand a word from the body of the letter – something about capital gains tax – or the other papers in the top drawer of the desk, and she strongly suspected her other self wouldn't have either. When she looked at Angel, Angel just shook her head and said, "I don't know everything."

They sifted through the papers for a while, trying to piece things together because Lilly was anxious to know how much of Miley's money had been spent, but after almost an hour the only thing she could tell was that a good chunk of it seemed to be invested in various stocks. Or were they bonds? Lilly didn't really know the difference. Eventually, they just put everything back as close to how they found it as they could. Her dad would know what to do, and in the meantime Lilly would just have to hope that the investments wouldn't make it harder to give back the money.

She had a crick in her neck and her back hurt from hunching over, so she made up her mind just to peek in the other drawers. It wasn't like going through more impenetrable financial papers was going to tell her anything anyway.

The second drawer was stuffed full of receipts, and Lilly felt an unwelcome, intrusive glimmer of identification with her other self. Here was something they had in common. Lilly eyed the mountain of little white slips with distaste. She could try to add them all up, but that would take forever. She didn't want to know how much money had been spent that badly.

The bottom drawer was locked, and none of the keys on Lilly's keying were small enough to fit. "That's not good," Lilly said. "We should try to find the key."

"I'll open it in a minute," Angel said. She was booting up the laptop on the desk. "I thought you might want to see if there's anything useful on here or in her email."

"But what about the password?" Lilly asked.

Angel gave her a look.

"Oh," Lilly said, feeling a little stupid, and tired of this besides. She stood up and stretched. "I gonna take a break first. I need to pack some clothes to take back."

"I'll see what's on here," Angel volunteered.

The bed in her – no, the other Lilly's –bedroom had been made, and the pajamas she'd left on the bathroom floor had been picked up, so the maid had been here at some point. She opened the closet, turned the light on. She hadn't paid much attention to the contents of it before, blindly flipping through the clothes until she'd found something she was willing to put on. This time she examined them more closely, and for every piece she looked at, a price tag leapt unbidden into her mind.

Lilly screwed her eyes shut, then opened them again, turning to another rack. The same thing happened. She couldn't remember buying these things, she couldn't even remember seeing most of them before, but she knew without looking what the name on each label was, and exactly what each had cost, right down to the penny.

Lilly shivered and backed out of the closet. That was really, really freaky. It was like some vestige of the other Lilly was still here, lurking somewhere in her mind, and Lilly hated it. She shut the door on the closet and her unasked for knowledge and went to find something to pack in.

Even the luggage was designer. Lilly found a small Louis Vitton bag – 2100, her mind supplied readily – in the closet in the guest room and took it back to her bedroom. She went through the closet in there as quickly as she could and pulled out enough clothes to last a week, trying to take the least expensive stuff. She could sell the rest, use part of the money to buy new clothes, and give the rest back to Miley.

Once she finished in there she moved onto the dresser next, grabbing out some underwear and a couple bras from the top drawer where she'd found them last week. The next drawer was filled with lacy silk, and Lilly lifted a piece out, discovering a _very_ revealing piece of lingerie. She dropped it as though burned and slammed the drawer shut, swallowing against the bile that rose in her throat. She didn't want to think about what her other self had done in that lingerie. What she'd done in this body.

Gagging, she dashed to the bathroom and threw up her breakfast, retching even after her stomach was empty. Finally, her chest stopped heaving and she leaned her head against the cool porcelain, too limp to reach up and flush the toilet. She didn't know how she was supposed to feel. Angry? Upset? Disgusted? Violated? She felt all of that and more, and she started laughing, little chuckles that quickly escalated into hysteria, tears pouring down her face, laughing so hard she worried she'd start vomiting again.

And then, abruptly, her laughter died, cut off like she'd flipped a switch. No. She wasn't doing this anymore. She wasn't going to let this world, this hellhole, win. No. She forced herself up off the floor and washed her face at the sink, rinsing out her mouth and then drying her face on an ugly hand towel that had cost over fifty dollars.

Red eyes stared back at her as she looked at herself in the mirror. At _her_ face. And this was _her_ body now. Whatever happened before didn't matter, didn't count. If she believed anything else she'd go crazy.

The doorbell rang downstairs and she could hear the door open before the ringing even stopped. Two voices chorused her name, and Lilly gave herself one last, resolute look in the mirror and went to see what else this universe was going to throw at her.

———————————————

It was Amber and Ashley.

Lilly remembered their names in her cell phone and only just stopped herself from jerking away when they rushed to embrace her and air-kiss each cheek.

"Oh my god, Lilly," Amber shrieked. "Where have you been? Did you hook up with Jerome after all? You weren't going to parties without us, were you?"

"No, no parties," Lilly said, trying to smile and act normal, though she had no idea what normal was for her other self. "I was busy. I was with Hannah." She expected them both to excited by that, maybe even a little impressed, but instead they made faces like she'd just asked them to kiss Dandruff Danny.

"Hannah?" Amber said in disbelief.

"I thought we were, like, totally done with that slut," Ashley chimed in. That was when Lilly started to get mad.

Angel appeared at the head of the staircase, looking over the railing at them. "Lilly?" she asked.

"Oh, good," Amber said. "I could really use a Cosmo. Could you run and mix one for me?"

"She doesn't work here," Lilly snapped.

Ashley and Amber both looked confused. "Then who is she?" Ashley asked.

"She's a friend of mine," Lilly said, which wasn't true. Lilly didn't know what Angel was to her, but she wasn't going to let Amber try to order her around.

"Uh, why are you friends with someone who dresses like _that?_" Amber said, her forehead wrinkling. "For that matter, why are _you_ dres – "

"What is it you guys want?" Lilly broke in, interrupting because if she didn't she was going to end up physically hurting Amber.

Amber's face cleared and she tossed her hair back over her shoulder. "Oh, you know, we just stopped by to see if you were back, make sure you were okay..."

"See if you could loan us another five grand," Ashley muttered under her breath.

That was when Lilly got even madder. "Excuse me?"

"Well, it's just that I found these absolutely _gorgeous_ Balenciaga sandals," Amber explained. "And they're only fifteen hundred dollars. But my dad is being, like, totally unreasonable, he took away my credit cards for the month just because of the Galliano I bought for Justin Timberlake's party last week, but I just _have_ to get these shoes, Lilly, plus I need something new to wear to Madonna's party – "

"No," Lilly said.

They both stared at her in shock. "What?" Amber said.

"No," Lilly repeated. "You can't have any money. I'm selling this place and giving all the money back to Hannah, so no, you can't have five grand."

"You're giving the money to _Hannah?_" Ashley screeched.

"Why the hell would you give money to that crack-addict _whore?_" Amber demanded.

That was when Lilly lost her temper. "Because she's my friend!" she shouted. "And if I ever hear either one of you say anything bad about her again, I'll send you to the emergency room. Better yet, if I ever hear either one of you say _anything_ ever again I'll send you to the emergency room. We are over, finished, done, got it? I don't want to see you again, I don't want to hear from you again, and I'm giving back the money and selling the cars and clothes and house and going back to school, so I'm sure you won't want to hear from me either. Now get the hell out of my house!"

Neither one of them moved, too stunned to do anything other than stare at her with their mouths slightly open.

"Go!" Lilly yelled.

"Lilly, you can't just..." Amber started.

"Oh, yes, I can," Lilly told her.

"But we've been friends for years!" Ashley protested.

"Some friends," Lilly said. "I've been gone three days, you didn't even call. You think I don't know you're only friends with the money?"

"That's not true," Ashley said.

"Then gimme a call in a couple weeks when I'm dirt poor and we'll talk," Lilly said. "Right now I don't want to hear it."

"Fine," Amber sniffed, sticking her nose in the air. "We can tell when we're not wanted, can't we, Ashley? And when someone's completely batshit insane. I don't know what Hannah did to you to make you like this, but don't come crawling to us when you realize how much poor sucks, because we're not going to forget this, right, Ashley?"

"Right," Ashley said, but she appeared more confused than angry, and Lilly thought she'd responded mostly out of habit.

Amber stalked out the door and Ashley followed, turning to give Lilly a hesitant wave goodbye. Then Amber yelled at her to hurry up and she blushed and fled through the door.

"You all right?" Angel asked quietly once the door had banged shut.

Lilly shot her a glare. "Just perfect, what could possibly be wrong?" she snapped. "I can't believe I was friends with Amber and Ashley."

"You were a very different person," Angel said.

Lilly thought about the lingerie upstairs, the closet full of designer clothes, the townhouse she was standing in. "No kidding. Look, I'm gonna go grab the bag I packed and let's get out of here." She couldn't stand the thought of staying here longer. It felt like she'd be smothered if she did, or disappear, like the other Lilly was starting to seep into her from the air in this place and soon would take her over.

"Probably a good idea," Angel said. "I don't think you want to look at her email."

Lilly didn't think so either. She was pretty sure she already knew more than she wanted to about her other self.

"And I looked in the bottom drawer," Angel continued. "There were copies of the deed to the house and the titles for three different cars. And twenty grand in cash."

"Leave it for my dad to deal with on Monday," Lilly said, halfway up the stairs.

Back at Miley's she threw her bag in Miley's room since Angel had sort of overtaken the guest room. She hoped Miley wouldn't mind Lilly using her room. She didn't think she would; they'd practically lived in each other's rooms on the weekends before, but Miley was different now. She didn't like people in the house, maybe she wouldn't like Lilly in her room. But Lilly didn't have anywhere else to go.

Despite having been in L.A. for almost two hours, it was barely one o'clock when they got back. Lilly went back downstairs, scratching her arm restlessly. For the first time since she woke up here four days ago, she felt like she had nothing to do, no crisis to take care of. Her stomach growled.

Then again, they did _really_ need groceries.

A short trip to the store later, she had stuff to make sandwiches, plus cereal and milk and some frozen TV dinners. She still felt bad using the money in her purse, but she had to eat. Maybe she could get a job after school and pay Miley back that way.

She called lunch up the stairs to Angel, but Angel never came down so she ate alone, still scratching thoughtlessly at her arms. Her skin felt itchy again, like it had that first day, like it wasn't her own.

She thought about calling her dad, but he'd said he would call her, and that he'd talk to her mother, and she didn't want to mess anything up by calling at the wrong time. She poked around Miley's room for a while, avoiding looking at the bag she'd brought back from the townhouse or thinking about what had happened there. Eventually, she found herself in the upstairs hallway. The guest room door was closed, and she wondered briefly if Angel was okay. She hadn't really thought about it before, but Angel had lost something too, something Lilly couldn't even conceive of, and it might be just as hard for her to deal with as all of this was to Lilly.

She almost went to check on her, even raising her hand to knock on the door, but decided just before she did that Angel knew where Lilly was if she wanted her and anyway it wasn't her job to look after Angel. And it wasn't like anyone had _made_ her grant Miley's wish, so it really wasn't their fault, what had happened to her.

Lilly trailed her fingers against the wall as she walked back down the hallway, stopping in front of Jackson's door as an idea occurred to her. Cracking it open, she stepped gingerly into the room, relaxing when she realized it wasn't the disaster area she'd been expecting. He must not have spent much time here before he left, or maybe Miley'd had it cleaned afterwards, because everything was neatly put away and the floor was clear.

The Jackson back home had a skateboard, and Lilly found his counterpart's in the closet easily enough. She couldn't find any pads, though, or even a helmet. She would just have to be careful, she decided, the urge to do something normal so strong now that she was actually holding a skateboard that there was no way she could deny it.

She went through the garage on the way out and found a helmet next to the bikes mounted on the wall, so at least she had that. The skatepark was crowded, but Lilly threw down Jackson's board and jumped on. She felt a little shaky on it, unsteady, but she went for a rail anyway, trying to do a boardslide.

She'd done it before, plenty of times, but when she tried to ollie onto the rail the board slipped away and she lost her balance and ended up flat on her back on the pavement with the wind knocked out of her, glad she had the helmet because otherwise she'd've cracked her head open.

One of the other skaters had to swerve to avoid hitting her and he looked at her over his shoulder. "Better get some pads," he told her, not unkindly. "And you might not want to try stuff like that until you know how to skate better."

But I _do_ know how to skate better, Lilly thought. She picked herself up, wiping a smear of blood from her elbow, and got the board, trying for a 50-50 grind this time. The same thing happened. This was all wrong. She grabbed the board and went over to a level area off to the side, away from the main course, where a couple ten-year-olds were trying to teach themselves how to ollie. She tried a standing one herself, but the board shot away from her and clattered on the cement a few feet away. At least she landed on her feet this time.

It was like her muscles just wouldn't do what her brain was telling them to do. The other Lilly hadn't been a skater, obviously, but Lilly had thought that since she remembered how to skate, she'd be able to do it. But of course it wasn't going to be that simple, not here.

Sighing, she flipped the board over and stepped on. She pushed off to build up some speed, and starting training her body all over again.

———————————————

Lilly could ollie again by the time Ben found her two hours later. It was easier the second time around; a couple weeks and she thought she'd be up to her level back home. She was out in the street in front of the skatepark, using the curb to work on landing a frontside ollie when she spotted Ben on the sidewalk just outside the entrance, chin straps on his helmet dangling and his board held loosely in his hands. He was watching her.

She skated towards him slowly, not sure if he wanted to talk to her or not. He didn't make a move to get away, which she thought was a good sign.

"I didn't know you started skating again," he said as she neared him.

So her other self _had_ skated before at some point, and must have given it up. "Yeah, I, um, I just started back up," Lilly said, jumping off the skateboard to stand next to him.

"You look pretty good."

Lilly shrugged. "Not really." She'd been better when she was twelve.

"Compared to before, I mean," Ben said. Lilly bent down and picked up her skateboard to hide her less-than-impressed expression. The other Lilly must have quit almost as soon as she'd picked up a board.

Ben was walking away when she straightened, but he looked back over his shoulder and jerked his head at her so she followed after, running a bit to catch up. There was a row of benches near the entrance to the park and he slouched down on one, propping his board up against it. She copied him and sat staring at the other skaters on the course, waiting for him to talk first. That seemed safest.

"What are you doing here, Lilly?" he asked finally.

She glanced over at him, not knowing if he meant at the skatepark or back in his life. "I – "

"You said you weren't ever coming back," he said. "Do you know what that did to mom and dad? You said you didn't need us anymore, that we were nothing but low-class losers who didn't know shit about style or good taste, and that as soon as you walked out the door you were going to do your best to forget you'd ever had anything to do with us."

Lilly sincerely hoped there was some way she'd be able to meet her other self one day, because she really, really wanted to kick her. Several times. In the face. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean that, any of it. I was different then."

"So now that you're different you just expect us to forget everything you did and welcome you back with open arms?" Ben demanded.

"No, I – I'm sorry," she said again. "I don't know what else to do except apologize. And I know it's not enough, and I know you probably hate me and I probably deserve it – "

"You _do_ deserve it," he cut in.

"I know," she said. "I just hope that one day you'll be able to believe me when I say I'm sorry and I love you."

"So why won't you do what mom says?"

"What?" Lilly asked.

"If you're so different, so sorry, why don't you move back home and forget about that bitch Hannah?"

Lilly scraped the edge of her shoe back and forth against the concrete. "I can't. She's my friend and she needs me and I can't desert her just because it would make things easier for me."

"You would have before," Ben said neutrally, his voice not giving away any of his feelings.

"Yeah, well...Like I said, I'm different now."

"What happened to you?" he asked. "Why are you doing all of this? And don't tell me because you missed us. You could miss us without giving that money back."

"It's hard to explain," Lilly said. "I just...I just realized that isn't the life I want. Only caring about money, and clothes, and how many exclusive parties I can get into...I don't want to be that person." You aren't me, she thought at that other Lilly. You aren't. I'll never be like you.

"But that was all you ever wanted."

Lilly lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "I'm – "

"Different," Ben finished. "I get it." He sighed. "I mean, I don't, not really, but...I guess it doesn't really matter if I do or not. You're still my little sister, and I guess that means you deserve a second chance."

"Are you serious?" Lilly asked, trying not to let herself hope.

He slung an arm over her shoulders and pulled her in for a half-hug. "Yeah. Just don't switch back, okay? Because I think I like you better this way, and if you fuck me over again..."

"I won't," Lilly promised, wrapping both arms around his waist and squeezing as hard as she could, blinking back tears. "Thanks, Ben. I love you."

"Yeah, yeah," he said, prying her arms off him. "Hey, you want me to teach you how to kickflip?"

He'd already taught her that trick two and a half of years ago. She made herself smile at him. "Sure."

She got up and turned, sticking out a hand to help him up, and after a second, he took it.

———————————————

Lilly had been nervous about going back to the townhouse, but it didn't seem so worrying with her dad there with her. Making up with Ben helped too, and so had splitting Sunday between the skatepark and the beach. She was sore today, pleasantly so, and felt more like herself than she had since she'd gotten here.

"The first agent should be here in about an hour," her dad said as Lilly let them in the front door, glad she'd come out Saturday and knew the right key now. It would have been awkward to explain why she didn't know her own house key. "I wanted to have some time to look things over. You said there are papers in an office upstairs?"

"Yeah," she said. "Um, I remembered I do have an accountant, his information is up there, too."

"Oh, good," Alan said, looking relieved. "That will make this much easier."

"I'll be up in minute," Lilly told him when he started up the stairs, then stopped to look back at her. She didn't really want to listen to him talk to another accountant, she probably wouldn't understand a word they said. And she hadn't ended up looking around very much on Saturday; it would be good if she had a better idea of what was in the house.

Lilly wandered through the living room, peeking into a nicely furnished dining room before making her way back to the kitchen she'd visited her first day here. It looked exactly the same, as though nothing in it had been touched at all in the past five days, which made sense. She hadn't been back and no one else would have been in here. Then she remembered how the bed upstairs had been made. The maid had been here. Her maid. The one she was going to have to fire.

Lilly sat down at the table and put her head down, resting it on her arms. She was going to have to fire the maid and the driver. She was fourteen. She wasn't supposed to have to fire anyone. She didn't know how. It wasn't fair.

Life's not fair, said a voice in her head that sounded exactly like her mother. That had been her standard response every time Lilly or Ben whined about something not being fair when they were growing up. Lilly had always hated it, and she hated it even more now that she knew how right her mother was.

———————————————

"Ah, Lilly, there you are," Alan said when she finally made it up to the office. "Now I made an appointment to talk to this Knox person tomorrow, and I won't know anything definite until then, but I've been looking through these records, they're all out of order, honestly, Lilly, how many times have I told you how important organized record-keeping is?"

Lilly sat on the floor and leaned back against the side of the desk. She didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. Her life was in shambles and here was her dad lecturing her about _record-keeping_. She brought her knees up and wrapped an arm around them, preparing to listen to her dad go on and on about something really, really boring, just like she had countless times in the past.

"But the main issue," her dad continued, "is that I doubt you'll have more than seven or eight million of this money to give back."

That jolted Lilly off the floor and up to her feet. "What?" she demanded. "But she – I mean, I can't possibly have spent that much. It's only been a year."

Her father frowned at her. "Like I said, that's a rough estimate, Lilly. But the market's been declining, and particularly with the investment strategy you've been using...if you want to return what you have right away, it's not going to be the full amount."

"Well, so," Lilly said slowly. "Would it be better to wait for, like, the market to go back up, or whatever?"

"There's no telling when that will happen," Alan said. "We could reinvest some of the money in bonds, but to get the kind of return you want you'd be looking at long-term investments of at least ten years."

"Ten _years_?" She just wanted to give the money back now and have this be over with.

"Listen, Lilly, let's just wait and see what this guy has to say tomorrow," her dad soothed. "And the real estate agents should be here soon. It's very much a seller's market right now, you may be able to make quite a profit on this place." He'd hardly finished talking when the doorbell sounded downstairs. "See? That must be the first one now, I'm sure she'll have good news for us. Try not to get upset until we have some concrete knowledge, okay? Sometimes you have a tendency to over-react."

A tendency to over-react? She'd like to see how _he'd_ react to what she'd been through the past five days. But she curbed her uncharitable thoughts and only nodded in response, following him downstairs to the door.

She kept following him for the next thirty minutes, as the real estate agent, a tall, well-dressed, blonde woman, assumed that her father was the owner and spoke only to him, ignoring Lilly completely. But she was actually glad of that, happy to trail along behind them and let her dad take control.

The agent and her dad were deep in a discussion of the current housing market when she doorbell rang again, so Lilly hurried to answer it, wondering if her father had scheduled the other agent's visit so close it was going to overlap with the first one. She pulled the door open, already thinking of what to say to this one. It died on her lips. Ashley was on the other side of the door.

"Hey, Lilly," she said shyly.

"What are you doing here?" Lilly asked, none too kindly.

"I, um, I tried to call you." That was true. Ashley had called her cell three times yesterday and Lilly had ignored them all. "I just wanted to see if you're okay?"

"I'm fine," Lilly said. "Not that it's any of your business."

"Lilly, I don't understand," Ashley said plaintively, and she looked so confused and hurt that Lilly started to feel bad. "Why are you doing this? We're your friends! Amber said – "

Lilly's heart hardened as she remembered what Amber, what _both_ of them, had said on Saturday. "I don't care what Amber said. Look, Ashley, I – "

"Is everything all right, Lilly?" her father's voice interrupted from behind her.

"Yeah, dad," Lilly said, glancing over her shoulder at him. He and the agent had come into the living room. "This is just – "

"Hi, Mr. Truscott," Amber broke in. Lilly bit her tongue. She'd been on the verge of introducing them.

"Ashley," her father said flatly. "It's certainly been a long time."

"Daddy, could you give us a minute?" Lilly asked. He nodded and led the agent back into the kitchen.

"What's your dad doing here?" Ashley said. "I thought you said you were never talking to your parents again."

"Yeah, well, I said a lot of things that aren't true anymore," Lilly said. "He's here to help me get rid of all this stuff. The woman's a realtor. I'm putting this place up for sale."

"So you're really serious about all this?" Ashley asked.

"Yeah," Lilly confirmed. "I am. Starting to think you don't care so much about how I'm doing anymore?"

Hurt flashed across Ashley's face. "That's not fair, Lilly. I'm your friend. At least, I thought I was."

Lilly clenched her hand around the doorknob, twisted it. Ashley seemed sincere and Lilly felt bad again, doing this to her with no real explanation. But the simple fact was that she had too much to deal with already: her parents, figuring out how to give Miley her money back, and Miley would be back soon. Lilly would need all her energy to help Miley stay clean and handle all the bad press. And even without all that, she couldn't afford to stay friends with someone who had known the other version of herself for such a long time. There would be no way to hide the fact that she didn't remember what she should. It was best to end this now, for good. "Does Amber know you're here?"

"What?" Ashley asked, looking guilty. "Um, not really. She's kinda still pissed at you."

"I thought she might be," Lilly said. "Look, Ashley, I know this kind of came out of nowhere, but I meant what I said Saturday. My life is going to be different now, I'm trying hard to make it different, and I just...I don't really think that hanging out with Amber is going to help with that."

"Hanging out with me and Amber, you mean," Ashley said. Lilly didn't say anything. Ashley looked down at her feet for a moment and then back. "Okay. I see how it is. I'm sorry we were such horrible friends. I...I hope you like your new life." She turned and walked away down the short walkway outside the front door.

"Ashley, I'm sorry," Lilly called after her, but the other girl didn't even pause, just shook her head and kept walking, making Lilly feel even worse. Why did everything have to so hard here? She wanted to slam the door to release some of her frustration, but she closed it carefully instead, balling her hands into fists for a moment before going to find her father and the realtor.

———————————————

The navy blue front door was as familiar as the back of her hand, but somehow seemed forbidding. Lilly compulsively checked the driveway one more time, even though she knew her parents were at work and Ben was in school, and then dug her key ring out of her purse. She still didn't know what half the keys went to, but a few minutes later she knew one thing: none of them went to her house.

She knew where the spare key was, but that wasn't the point. The point was she didn't have a key to her house. No. The point was this wasn't her house anymore.

She put the keys back in the purse, walking a few steps off the porch until she found the fake rock with the key inside. At least it was still there, and in the right place.

The unlocked door opened easily and Lilly stepped inside quickly and relocked it behind her. She stood in the entryway, breathing deeply to try and calm her nerves. She felt like she was trespassing.

Last time she was here she hadn't really had a chance to look around, to see if anything was different from back home; she did it now, not sure if she wanted to find any differences or not. They hadn't taken her pictures off the walls. And they were all the same, which she guessed made sense. She wasn't older than ten in any of them.

Most everything was the same; there were newer issues of the magazines her parents got on the coffee table in the living room, but they hadn't redecorated or anything. There was a Netflix envelope on top of the latest issue of Accountancy. Lilly glanced at it. So _Pirates of the Caribbean III_ had come out. She'd really wanted to see that in the theater, but compared to everything else, missing that didn't seem important.

The kitchen was the same, right down to the bag of Trader Joe's coffee on the counter. It was strange how some things had changed so little, when everything else had changed so much. She almost kicked the dog's water bowl across the room because she wasn't watching where she was going, and then almost kicked herself for not having thought about Thor once before now. Her mom – her parents usually kept him outside in the back yard when everyone was gone, and she hurried out to the back deck.

He came bounding over as soon as she opened the sliding door, his little body wriggling with excitement that someone had come home during the day. And he got even more excited when he sniffed her hand and realized who it was, which made her happy. He hadn't forgotten her. He still recognized her, even if she didn't recognize herself.

She spent a while out in the yard with him, tossing some of his toys for him to fetch and rubbing his belly when he rolled over on his back and whined, not thinking about anything but how soft and silky his fur felt against her hand. Then she went back inside, upstairs.

She didn't bother with Ben's room. She hadn't been allowed in there since she was nine and wouldn't be able to tell if it was the same. But she lingered in her parents' room, the one place where discrepancies didn't make her anything but pleased. The bed was made, that was the first thing, perfectly made, and she knew if she lifted up the comforter the sheet would have hospital corners. That was her dad's work. Lilly didn't think her mom had made her bed once since the divorce.

And her dad's shaving stuff was in the bathroom, and two toothbrushes in the toothbrush holder, and two different kinds of toothpaste because her father could never stand the Colgate her mother used. All of his clothes were in the closet, ironed and hung neatly.

She wanted to stay there, in that room. She wanted to live in this house again, to have a chance to live with both her parents at once. She wanted to stay in her parents' room and pretend that she had gone back in time instead of forward, that she was living in the time of those pictures hanging downstairs, when everything had been so simple. She didn't want to see her room – if it even was her room still – and be reminded yet again that her world was gone and this one was all she had in its place.

She went down the hall to her room. Dust covered everything. Lilly drew a finger through the thick layer on her desk and sneezed when that stirred some up into the air. Probably no one had been in here since her other self left.

Overall, the room looked similar to the one at the townhouse, nowhere near as nice, but still with pink everywhere. It made her wonder just how long she'd been different, and what had happened to make her that way. As much as she was loathe to learn more about that Lilly, she still ransacked the desk to see if there was anything in it – maybe a conveniently expository diary – that could tell her. There were _some_ things she wanted to know. Like what she'd done to Oliver, and when.

But all she found were stacks of old fashion magazines and some scattered sheets of schoolwork with grades that were even worse than hers back home. Unlike Miley, Lilly had never been the type to keep a diary, and it seemed that was another thing she had in common with her other self.

She went through the closet next to see if there was anything she could salvage. She'd already decided that if she found anything she wanted she was taking it back to Miley's. Even if her mother miraculously came around and forgave everything, the more Lilly thought about it, the more she became convinced that it would be better for her to stay at Miley's at least for the next few months. She didn't like the idea of Miley being alone in that house. It would be too easy for her to start drinking again if she was, and even if Angel ended up staying, Lilly didn't trust her to be able to keep Miley sober. She hadn't the first time.

She threw some of the less offensive clothes on the bed. She'd try them on back at Miley's and see if any of them still fit. If they did it would be that much less to buy. That much less to pay back later.

After she'd weeded out all she could, she dug through the piles and boxes of stuff stacked on the floor and upper shelf of the closet. Most of it was useless: more school papers that her father insisted on keeping, and her mother had always stored the Christmas tree ornaments and Easter baskets in Lilly's closet, but she found a couple pairs of sandals that didn't have at least a four-inch heel and she gladly added those to her stack to take back with her.

And then, buried in the back under a pile of knock-off designer shoes, she found her old skateboard. She sat down right there on the closet floor and pulled it into her lap, running her hands over the griptape on the deck before flipping it over to spin the wheels. It was the first skateboard she'd ever had, the same one she'd started out on back home, though this one was certainly in much better shape than her old one had ended up. Further proof that her other self hadn't skated for long.

Lilly tucked the board under her arm and got off the floor. A long time ago, she'd learned to skate on this board, and now she'd learn to skate on it all over again. And when she was done, it was going to be in exactly the same shape as the one back home.

She could do that. She could make this one small thing match, even if she couldn't make the rest of her life do the same.

———————————————

**Look at that, a chapter that didn't end on a completely depressing note. I hope you were all sitting down for that shocker. Also, I know, I know, there was no Miley in this chapter. She'll be in the rest of them, I promise. **

**Oh, and I know y'all aren't going to believe this, but I totally had that drawer full of receipts before they aired **_**You Didn't Say It's Your Birthday**_**. I've never been kripked before in my life and this show has done it to me twice now. ilu2, show! **

**See you guys Monday.**


	5. Make The Pieces Fit

**Y'all. Yes, you. You people who are reading and reviewing this story right here. You rock. So hard. I'm thinkin' I need to start taking lessons from you. How about Tuesdays? Does that work for everyone? **

**an amazing lover: Noooooooooo. Lilly's dad can't have a girlfriend. He's _mine_****. (I know. I'm weird. But I can't help it. Lilly's dad is just that awesome. One day I will write fic that will make everyone love him as much as I do. No one will read it, but I don't care.)**

**John Chubb: Dude, get out of my head! That is totally how I wanked Lilly's parents staying together. Well, not just her leaving, there was other stuff, but yes. Along those lines. And your last comment is one of the reasons I set it up as two separate universes rather than as one altered verse. **

**live2rite: Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about Robby Ray. Or, as you will see very shortly, Jackson.**

———————————————

**Chapter Four: Make The Pieces Fit**

———————————————

_Say the sky goes back to being the sky__  
and the sun continues as always. Now,__  
knowing what you know, how can you not see  
thin cracks in the fragile blue vaults of air._

- Stephen Dobyns, "Fragments"

———————————————

**02 – 08 April 2008**

The rocks were wet under Lilly's bare feet, slightly cooler than the sand she'd just left. Lilly climbed over the pile towards the cliffs, squinting into the sun as she made her way towards Jackson's cave. She'd never been out to El Matador beach before, but she knew where the cave was like she knew the way to her house. Angel had put it in her head, and now she knew the route, could walk it in her memory with details as vivid and brilliant as the sunlight glancing off a wave. Google Maps had nothing on Angel.

The cave was just a little further up the beach, over more rocks darkened by sea spray. She could see the entrance, a small black hole that she'd have to bend over double to walk through. It matched the picture in her mind's eye. Lilly crouched down and half-walked, half-crawled through the narrow opening. In other circumstances, she'd be a little scared, but thanks to Angel this had the feel of something she'd done a thousand times before and that calmed her nerves.

She only had to take a few steps before she was able to straighten up again. The ground dipped and her feet splashed into a large, shallow puddle, and she grinned because she'd known that would happen. Then her smile disappeared as her eyes started to adjust to the darkness of the cave and she saw a short figure standing a few feet in front of her, just where her new memories said the puddle would end this time of day.

"Jackson?" Lilly said tentatively. The figure didn't move or respond and Lilly blinked furiously in an attempt to make her eyes adjust faster. That was when she saw the other figure, behind and slightly to the right of the first.

"Hello?" she called, nervous for the first time since she'd started this trek. Nothing. Lilly squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and then reopened them, finally able to make things out a little better.

They weren't people, she could see that now, they were statues, or something, and they were – she splashed a few step closer – they were dolphins. Sand sculptures of dolphins, balanced on their tails like they'd just leapt from the waves, their mouths hinged open in dolphin laughter. They were beautiful. She raised a hand and stroked the smooth side of one, a few granules of sand sticking to her fingers.

They were exquisite. They must have taken hours to sculpt. And when the tide came in they'd crumble, their tails washed away.

Lilly walked around behind them, wanting to see them from all angles, and in the process she climbed out of the puddle and up the sandy, sloping cave floor. Even the dolphins' tails looked alive, curled up underneath to support the bodies but looking like they might twitch at any second and send the animals diving into the puddle or out to the ocean.

As Lilly ran a light finger down the dorsal fin of the first sculpture, she glanced towards the back of the cave and froze a second when she saw three more shadowy figures, relaxing when she realized they were sculptures, too. She peered at them and started to step closer. They looked like people.

The light streaming in through the cave entrance abruptly cut off, plunging the cave further into darkness. Lilly spun around, fear shooting through her as someone unfolded themselves after crawling into the cave, the light coming back and blinding Lilly's newly sensitive eyes.

"Well, well, lookee lookee what we got here," said a voice that was just on the other side of dementia. It was Jackson. Lilly put a hand over her racing heart and sucked in a deep breath. "Looks like a little mermaid done swum up in mah cave. But there ain't no mermaids allowed in here, nope, nope, nothing in here but dolphins."

"Jackson," Lilly said.

"Jackson?" Jackson said, still with that crazy lilt to his voice. "No, no, no, no. No Jackson here. Kiki. That's me. Kiki kikikikiki." He let loose with an uncanny dolphin impression, a high-pitched chittering that echoed off the cave walls, and if Lilly hadn't been warned by Angel that this was an act she would have been making a break for it.

"Jackson, I need to talk to you," she said instead, holding up her hands palm out to show him she meant no harm.

He sloshed through the puddle and sidled past her, keeping the dolphin sculptures between them. He had rough cloth bag over one shoulder and he took it off, slinging it onto a wide ledge about halfway up the cave wall. His clothes were ragged and sun-faded, his hair wild, and a bushy beard sprang from his face and came down almost to his waist.

"It's about Mi – about your sister," Lilly added. Was Miley's name still Miley here or was it really Hannah? Lilly hadn't ever thought to ask, and up until now she'd only dealt with people who would know her as Hannah.

"No, no, no," Jackson said rapidly. "Ain't got no sister. Ain't got no family. Only dolphins."

This was getting old fast. "Come on, Jackson, I need to talk to you. Knock it off." He did another dolphin call and Lilly sighed. "Look, if you don't have a family, then who are they?" she demanded, pointing to the three sculptures grouped together in the back of the cave.

"Sand," Jackson cackled. "Sand, sand, the water takes it away."

"Not in that part of the cave it doesn't," Lilly said, her mind having no trouble pulling up Angel's memories of exactly how high the water level in the cave got. "Seriously, Jackson – "

Suddenly, she found herself pressed up against the cave wall, rock digging into her cheek, with one arm twisted up behind her. Jackson had his other arm across the back of her shoulders and was leaning his weight against it, keeping her pinned to the wall. She hadn't known he could move that fast.

"Who are you and what do you want?" he barked in her ear, and as angry as he was at least his voice was back to normal.

"Jackson," Lilly gasped. "You're hurting me – " He twisted her arm up further and she cried out in pain.

"Hey, I _tried_ to give you the easy way out," Jackson growled. "Now who the hell are you and what the hell do you want?"

"Lilly," Lilly panted. "My name's Lilly Truscott and I want to talk about your sister."

"How do you know my name?" Jackson said dangerously.

Lilly hesitated and Jackson yanked her arm up, making her scream. It felt like her arm was going to snap. "Miley told me," she blurted.

The pain stopped. It took her a few seconds to realize he'd let her go completely and wasn't holding her against the wall any longer. She took a step back and turned to face him, gingerly massaging her sore arm and then bringing her hand up to rub her cheek.

"No one calls her Miley anymore," Jackson said, watching her warily. That answered that question.

"I do," Lilly told him quietly.

"And who did you say you are again?" he asked.

"Lilly Truscott," she said. "I'm a friend of Miley's."

Jackson snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. "Who isn't?"

Lilly shook her head. "Not Hannah's. Miley's."

His eyes widened a second at the distinction and then narrowed. "Are you a reporter? How did you find me?"

"I'm not a reporter, Jackson, look at me," Lilly said. "I'm fou – I'm sixteen. And do you really think she hasn't been keeping track of you? Who do you think has been burying coins where she knew you'd find them for the past year and a half? Who do you think's been leaving food for you?"

Jackson turned his back on her and started messing around in bag. "How do you know about that?" he asked.

"I told you," Lilly said. "Miley." It had actually been Angel, and Angel who had been leaving things. Miley had tried to do it the first few times, Angel had said, but she couldn't leave the house without attracting a crowd, so she'd asked Angel to do it for her. "Now, seriously, Jackson – "

"You talk like you know me," Jackson said. He turned back around, eyes boring suspiciously into hers.

Lilly shrank back against the wall. "I – I feel like I do," she stuttered. "Miley talks about you all the time."

"She does?" he said in surprise. A small, pleased smile appeared on his face, making him look far less menacing.

"Yeah," Lilly said, straightening up. "She misses you." Her eyes darted towards the three statues in the back of the cave: evidence Jackson missed his family as well.

"You came here to tell me that?"

"No," Lilly said. "I came because Miley's in trouble."

Jackson leaned back against the ledge. "Oh, yeah? And just what kind of trouble has Miss Montana gotten herself into? Another fifteen million dollar recording contract? I can see why you'd think she'd need my help with that."

"She's in rehab," Lilly said flatly, and had the empty satisfaction of seeing all the color drain out of his face.

"What?" he demanded. "What happened? I never thought she'd – is she okay?"

"She will be," Lilly said. "But, listen, Jackson, I'm going to visit her tomorrow and I'd really like it if you'd come with me."

"They let her have visitors?" Jackson asked.

"It's like a family counseling thing," Lilly told him. Miley had been in rehab two weeks now; the halfway point of her stay there. "I think it would help if some of her family actually came."

"Is my dad coming?"

"No," Lilly said. "I don't know if he even knows. It's been in the news, but...I don't know where he is." Wherever it was, his cell phone didn't have reception, or he just wasn't answering. She'd left a message on his voicemail, and more on the machines at his properties in Switzerland, Paris, Rome, and Bermuda, but she hadn't heard back.

"I don't know," Jackson said. "It's been a long time since I've been fit for polite society."

"Please," Lilly begged. "Come back to the house with me. Your clothes are still there, you can shower and change and spend the night and then we'll go tomorrow."

"You must be really good friends with Miley," Jackson observed. "To come all the way out here like this."

"Yeah," Lilly said. He had no idea how far she'd come. "Please, Jackson. She needs you."

His eyes searched her face for a moment before he finally nodded.

———————————————

Jackson cleaned up nicely. He came downstairs in a clean pair of khaki shorts and a blue and yellow plaid button-down shirt that hung open over a black t-shirt. His beard had been shaved off and his hair was gathered back at the nape of his neck into a thin ponytail.

"Wow," Lilly said. Now this looked more like the Jackson she remembered.

"Hey, I figured if I'm gonna do this, I might as well do it all the way," he said. "You think we'll have time to stop and get me a haircut before the thing tomorrow? It'd be a lot easier just to chop it all off and not have to deal with it on the beach."

"We should, the session's not until one," Lilly told him.

"So this session thing," Jackson said, and then looked around uncomfortably, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. "Do you think we could go outside?"

"Um, sure," Lilly said quizzically, flipping the TV off and following him out to the back porch.

"Sorry," Jackson said, sitting on one end of the bench. Lilly took the other. "It's just weird, being inside. Not being able to hear the ocean, it feels wrong. Is it safe to talk out here? Paparazzi, I mean."

"I haven't seen them around," Lilly said. "And Miley said they don't come here all that much." Though that would undoubtedly changed once Miley got back, even if they kept the place closed up.

"Good," Jackson said. "So what is this session thing going to be like?"

"I don't really know," she answered. "Miley didn't give any details."

"I'm not talking about my feelings, or anything like that," Jackson said. "I don't do that. I'll go, but just to see Miley."

Lilly nodded. She could understand that. She didn't really want to talk about her feelings, either. She had too many of them these days, and they were too confusing to put into words. Especially in front of some stranger. "You don't have to say anything if you don't want to. Miley will just be happy you're there."

"How is it you know my sister so well?" he asked, a hint of his earlier suspicion resurfacing.

"We're friends," Lilly said. "We've known each other...about a year and a half now."

"Then you know what happened to her?" Pain had replaced the suspicion.

"She, uh, she started drinking about a year ago," Lilly said quietly. She looked out at the ocean and had to squint, it was so bright. Too bright for a conversation like this. "I think she felt kind of...isolated, and she was going through some...stuff – " This would be so much easier if only Angel would tell her what had happened, but she wouldn't, insisting that Lilly ask Miley.

"So it's just alcohol?" Jackson asked. "I was worried she..."

"She was taking Ecstasy too," Lilly said. "But only for a few months, and I got the feeling she didn't take it that much. I don't think it's as big a problem as the drinking."

"Wait, hang on a second," Jackson said, holding up a hand. "You 'got the feeling'? What the hell does that mean? Don't you know? And if you're such good friends with her like you claim, how could you let her do this to herself? And how did she end up in rehab? Did she OD?'

"No, no, nothing like that," Lilly hastened to reassure him. "She – I – we hadn't talked in a while, almost a year. I didn't know what was going on. I came back into town and I saw her...when I found out, I made her go to rehab."

Jackson's brows drew together. "So let me get this straight. You knew Miley a couple months, became great friends with her, and then didn't talk to her for a year? And then you just magically waltz back into town and ship her off to rehab, just like that?"

Lilly knew the story didn't really hold together that well. But it was as close to the truth as she could make it, and she didn't think anything would be helped by constructing some elaborate lie. It was hard enough remembering everything about the way things were here without adding more to the mess. "Um, yeah, that's – that's basically it."

"And you really expect me to believe that?" he demanded.

"Yes?" Lilly said hopefully.

"Yeah, right," he snorted. "What is it you want? What's your angle in this? Money? Fame-by-proxy?"

"What I want is for Miley to get better," Lilly said coldly, trying to rein in her temper, which had flared up at his accusations. "That's _all_ I want." Jackson shook his head and some of Lilly's anger leaked out. "Look, maybe you don't believe me, I don't care. But at least I was here for her, okay? Instead of wasting my life away out on the beach or jetting all over the world with some bimbo. You think it doesn't kill me that things got this bad? But at least I got here in enough time to keep her from drinking herself to death. And if I really had an 'angle', as you put it, do you really think I would have gone through all the trouble of finding you and dragging you back here?"

She paused to draw a breath and started shaking, and jumped up, turning her back to Jackson and crossing her arms across her chest, not wanting him to see. "So don't you sit there and accuse me of having an ulterior motive when I am doing _every single thing_ I can to try and make sure Miley is okay. You don't even know – " She broke off and swallowed hard to keep from crying, fingers digging into her upper arms. He didn't know anything.

"All right," Jackson said. "All right, I believe you."

Lilly took a few deep breaths to get herself under control and then turned back to him. He wasn't completely convinced, she could tell. His eyes were still wary. But she didn't want to argue about it anymore. He could ask Miley tomorrow, she would tell him. "Fine." She loosened her grip on her arms, rubbing her hands up and down, feeling cold even in the sunshine. "Do you want to go inside? I can microwave us some dinner."

"Regular meals," Jackson said, smiling wanly. "Now there's something I could get used to again in a hurry."

Inside, Lilly pulled two of the frozen dinners she'd bought out of the freezer. Both of them were turkey something-or-other, and both looked significantly less appetizing once she'd stripped them of their packaging than they did on the box. Lilly sighed. Cooking was not her strong suit, she just didn't have the necessary attention span. Yesterday she'd tried to make grilled cheese for lunch and almost set off the smoke detector, so they were pretty much stuck with stuff she couldn't burn.

She put them in the microwave and went to sit at the table with Jackson while they waited.

"I still can't believe this place," Jackson said. When they'd first gotten back, Jackson had taken two steps in the door and almost fallen over in surprise. "What happened in here?" he'd asked.

"What are you talking about?" Lilly had said. Everything looked the same to her.

"The leather couches, the chandelier, the giant Hannah painting, all that stuff...what happened to it?"

Lilly had looked around the room, attempting and failing to picture those things there, before she finally came up with an answer. "I, um...Miley redecorated."

Now Lilly forced a smile. "I guess Miley wanted a change," she said, even though it had been exactly the opposite.

"Pretty big change," Jackson said. The conversation lapsed and they both avoided each other's eyes for a few minutes, looking randomly around the kitchen. "So the press knows?" Jackson said finally.

"Yeah." The furor had died down a bit by now, though the story was still getting enough press that Lilly couldn't pick up the remote and flip through the channels without hearing Hannah's name at least twice. And she had no doubt the coverage would ramp up once Miley got out of rehab and the press could get at her.

"Damn," Jackson said. "That's going to be hard for her."

"She'll be okay," Lilly said, trying to believe that. It wasn't so much the press she was worried about as it was the fans the press was influencing. But lots of people were posting to fansites supporting Hannah, so it wasn't like Miley would come back to find out everyone had turned on her. She'd be okay. She would.

The microwave beeping cut off whatever Jackson had been about to say. Lilly retrieved the dinners while Jackson got them forks. They didn't talk while they ate, both shoveling food in too fast for speech. The turkey and mashed potatoes had heated unevenly, scorched around the edges and lukewarm in the middle, and the vegetable medley was mushy. Lilly missed her mom's cooking. She didn't let her thoughts go any further than that.

Angel came down just as they were finishing. "You found him," she said.

"Yeah," Lilly said. "Do you want something to eat?"

Angel looked at the remnants of food on the black plastic trays in front of them. "Not that."

"Who're you?" Jackson demanded, and Lilly winced. She hadn't gotten around to mentioning Angel yet. It was going to be hard to explain both of them living in the house.

"You can call me Angel," Angel told him.

"She's...another friend of Miley's," Lilly said.

"I'm her bodyguard," Angel filled in smoothly. "Live-in."

"Oh," Jackson said, his face clearing of any suspicion. "I'm Jackson. Nice to meet you." Lilly frowned. Now why couldn't it have been that easy for her? Angel took the hand Jackson offered, shaking it politely. Lilly glared at her. She should have taken Angel with her to the cave. This kind of reception would have been a lot nicer than getting a rock wall shoved in her face. Angel could have mentioned she had a good story ready.

"I think I'm going to sit outside for a while, watch the sunset," Jackson said. "Thanks for the dinner, Lilly." It was the first time he'd called her by name, she realized. It sounded weird, different from how he'd said it back home, or maybe that was just her imagination. She was already starting to forget, a little, how some things had been. The details of things, everyday details that you never really noticed until they were gone, and then you could never quite get them fixed right in your mind. She missed them without knowing what she was missing.

Jackson got up and threw his tray away, then started back towards the porch door. "Jackson?" Lilly said.

"What?"

"Do you think you could maybe try calling your dad?" she asked. "I've been leaving messages, but he doesn't know me. Maybe if you do it..."

Jackson didn't turn around. "I'll try," he said. "But he would have come if he knew. If he was anywhere where he could hear about it. He would have come back."

"It doesn't hurt to try," Lilly said. She wanted to be able to tell Miley she had tried, at least, even though Miley had told her not to.

"Yeah," Jackson said. "I'm going for a walk. I'll call him later."

"Thank you," Lilly said, but he didn't answer, escaping out the door.

———————————————

Lilly woke early, before it was fully light. She wanted to go surfing for a while before they had to leave to get Jackson's hair cut and go to the rehab center. It would help settle her nerves. She'd been going most mornings over the past two weeks; it was nice to have a routine, and once her dad had told her she really was going to be about a million short on Miley's money, it hadn't seemed like such a big deal to go shopping for some clothes and surf gear to go with the surfboard she borrowed from the Stewarts' garage.

She dressed quickly and braided her hair back so it would be out of her way, heading down the hall the way she did every morning. Then she stopped. The door to Jackson's room was open and the room was empty, the bed made. Just the way it was every morning. Just the way it shouldn't have been today.

Lilly almost punched the wall. If Jackson had changed his mind...

At least she hadn't told Miley he was coming. Miley would be crushed if she knew Jackson had backed out of it.

She stormed down the stairs, trying to decide if she should go back out to El Matador and yell at Jackson until he was shamed into coming back or just give up on him...and she almost tripped over him when she yanked open the door and went out on the back porch. Lilly yelped and did a funny little half-dance backwards to keep from kicking him in the ribs. "Jackson? What are you _doing_ out here?"

Jackson blinked awake and looked up at her. He had the throw blanket from the living room wrapped around him, and one of the pillows from the couch under his head.

"You _slept_ out here?" Lilly asked.

"Yeah, I, uh – " He sat up and ran a hand over his face. "I tried sleeping in my room, but it was too quiet, and then I tried the living room, but that didn't work either, so I came out here. Have you ever noticed how still air is inside?" He shuddered. "It's so...dead."

"I hadn't noticed," Lilly said. "I thought you'd left."

"No," Jackson said, getting up and reaching back down to pick up the pillow. "I thought about it, but no. I want to see her."

Lilly nodded. "Good. Did you get any sleep? I can't believe you could out here." The porch was just wooden boards, not the most comfortable bed in the world.

Jackson went into the living room to put the pillow and blanket back; Lilly leaned against the doorframe and watched him. "I've been sleeping on sand or rock for the past two years," he told her. "That didn't bother me. I didn't really sleep, though, now that you mention it. I – I kept thinking about Miley. I just...I don't understand." He draped the blanket over the back of the couch and then braced his hands on it. "When I left, she...she loved being onstage, she loved all of that, that whole life. It was everything to her. I don't understand what could have happened to make her end up like this."

His back was tight, like a newly strung bowstring, and Lilly had cried enough the past two weeks to be able to tell when someone else was near tears. She regretted what she'd said yesterday. It wasn't his fault this had happened. There was no way he could have known it would: the Miley Jackson had left probably would have been fine here on her own, if Miley hadn't made her wish.

But she could hardly tell him that. "It happens a lot, you know," she tried instead. "To a lot of famous people."

"No," Jackson said. "Miley's – Miley was different."

"I know," Lilly said, thinking he didn't. He didn't know how different she was. "But things change."

"Yeah?" Jackson said. "Well, that _sucks_."

Lilly didn't know what to say to that. She knew better than anyone how much it sucked. But you just had to deal with it. You just had to keep going, because there wasn't anything else to do. "I'm gonna go surfing," she said. "You want to come?"

Jackson turned to look at her. He laughed, except it wasn't really a laugh, and rubbed at his wet eyes. "Yeah," he said. "Yeah, I'd like that."

———————————————

The rehab center looked like a world-class vacation resort. Walls the color of fresh cream shone under a red tile roof, and vines twisting up a trellis out front gave the place a relaxed air that was echoed by the calm, steady strength of the mountains rising up behind the building. The Towncar rolled to a stop at the top of the circular driveway's arc precisely at one o'clock and Lilly opened the door, slipping out quickly so that Jackson could follow her.

"Come back in an hour, unless we call you sooner," Jackson ordered Brian with a smoothness that belied the fact he'd literally been living in a cave the past two years. The driver nodded his understanding and the car crept away as soon as Jackson shut the door. They stood on the verge between the driveway and grass for a moment before heading up the sidewalk in silent accord.

Lilly was nervous. Miley had only called once more in the past two weeks, to tell Lilly about today. She'd shyly asked if Lilly would come, as if honestly afraid that Lilly would say no, and then her voice had turned dull when Lilly had suggested getting in touch with Robby Ray and Jackson and she'd told Lilly not to bother. Lilly hadn't been able to get anything out of her about how the rehab was going. She didn't know if this was working, or if what she'd said to Miley that first day was true, if Miley was still the same person she'd always been, and that worried her.

They entered through warm, honey colored wooden doors and found themselves in an open, airy lobby that was more than adequately lit by the sun coming in through the back wall, which was made entirely of glass and looked out over the mountains. Jackson gave their names to the pretty brunette behind the desk in the lobby, who summoned another employee to lead them down several hallways and into a small waiting area outside one of the therapists' offices. Dr. Whitaker, said the gold plaque on the inner door.

"She's already inside. You can go right in," their guide said, gesturing to the door before disappearing back down the hall.

Jackson and Lilly shared a tense look. "I don't know if I'm ready for this," Jackson admitted, scrubbing a hand over his suddenly weary face.

Perversely, his anxiety made her feel better. "Do you want me to go in first? She doesn't know you're coming, I could let her know..." At his nod, she went to the door, flashing a reassuring smile at him over her shoulder and then knocking lightly, entering when she heard a voice on the other side tell her to come in.

A man with sandy blond hair similar to Lilly's sat behind the mahogany desk opposite the door. There was a large bookshelf behind him, and off to Lilly's left was a comfortable-looking black leather couch. Lilly shut the door quietly. Miley was standing with her back to the door, looking out the floor-to-ceiling window on the right side of the room. She turned when Lilly came in, her face lighting up, and they almost ran to each other.

"Thanks for Beary Bear," Miley whispered in Lilly's ear, hugging her tightly and Lilly grinned, hugging back, suddenly sure that Miley _was_ herself, that she would be okay, that coming here hadn't been a mistake.

"You look terrible," Lilly told her lightly, pulling back, and it was true. Lilly's heart constricted at the sight of her. Miley didn't have any make-up on, and there were dark bags under her eyes, and she'd lost weight. She looked painfully thin, almost gaunt, her skin stretched too tightly over her bones. Her hair was pulled up in a loose, low ponytail. She'd stopped straightening it, and it looked tangled, as if she hadn't bothered to brush it before putting it up. Her roots were just starting to show.

Miley laughed. "I know," she said. "But I'm doing good. Better. How are things back home?"

Lilly shot a sidelong glance at the man behind the desk, who was apparently absorbed in reading some of the papers on his desk. Dr. Whitaker, Lilly presumed. Miley didn't seem to have any qualms about talking in front of him, and they _were_ here for a counseling session. Still, Lilly didn't know how much detail she should go into. "Angel's still here," she said, nodding when Miley arched an eyebrow. "She's been staying at your house. Things didn't go well with, you know, and I think she kind of...got kicked out. From, well, you know."

"Shit," Miley said. "I didn't think...wow. Um, tell her she can keep staying there if she needs to."

"Okay," Lilly said, nodding again.

"How are things with your mom?" Miley asked. Lilly had filled her in on some of the situation the last time they talked, though she'd left out that Miley was the reason for her mother's continued antagonism. "Any better?"

"No," Lilly said. She'd had lunch with her dad a bunch of times over the past week, and talked to him at least once a day, and most afternoons she met up with Ben at the skatepark, but she hadn't seen or spoken with her mother since that night two weeks ago. Her dad kept insisting that she just needed a little more time. Lilly didn't know whether or not to believe him.

"Fuck, Lilly, I'm so sorry," Miley said. "It's my fault."

"No," Lilly said sharply. "It's not your fault, it's _her_ fault." She knew Miley would know she meant the other Lilly. Miley looked like she was going to argue, so Lilly hurried on. "I've sort of been staying at your house, too. I hope that's okay." She decided she'd wait until Miley got home to bring up the subject of Lilly selling the townhouse and her plans to give Miley her money back. It wasn't something she wanted to discuss in front of this guy, even if he was Miley's therapist.

"Are you kidding?" Miley said. She thumped down to sit on the couch and peered up at Lilly like she'd lost her mind. "Of course it's okay. Stay as long as you want. You can stay forever, as far as I'm concerned."

Good, Lilly thought, wrapping her arms around herself. She might have to.

"I hate to interrupt," said Dr. Whitaker. "But now that you guys have had a few minutes, we really should get started."

"Actually," Lilly said. "I brought someone else."

Miley looked at her quizzically. "Angel?" she asked.

Lilly shook her head and went back to the door, opening it and sticking her head through. Jackson looked like the contents of his stomach were trying to crawl up his throat, but he came forward when she motioned to him.

"Jackson?" Miley said in disbelief as he came through the door. She shot up off of the couch and across the room into his arms. "What are you doing here?"

"Lilly found me," Jackson said. "She said you needed me."

"Jackson," Miley said, burying her face against his shoulder. Her voice was thick, as though she was choking back sobs. "I am so sorry."

"No," Jackson told her. "No, I'm sorry, Miles." A shudder ran through Miley's body at the name. "I didn't know. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

"It's okay," Miley said, straightening and quickly wiping at her eyes. "You're here now. I can't believe you came. Did..." She looked back and forth between Jackson and Lilly. "Did Daddy...?"

Lilly cleared her throat. "No, I couldn't track him down. I'm sorry, Miley, I tried, but...I'm sure he'd be here if he knew." Disappointment flashed across Miley's face and Lilly looked away, not wanting to see it, and noticed that Dr. Whitaker was watching all of this with great interest.

Jackson threw an arm around Miley's shoulders and guided her to sit down on the couch. "He's probably deep in the Amazon or something and hasn't gotten all the messages Lilly's been leaving. I left one for him last night, too. He'll call back any day now, I bet."

"It's okay," Miley said. Lilly knew she was lying, and she was starting to get really pissed at Miley's dad. How could he just go off gallivanting around the world and leave his sixteen-year-old daughter on her own? And his son living on the beach? What kind of father did that? "I wasn't expecting him to come, anyway."

Miley sat half-leaning up against Jackson's side, both her hands clasped in a death grip on one of his. Lilly took the remaining seat on the couch on Miley's other side, and after a moment Miley loosened one of her hands from Jackson's and reached over to take Lilly's.

"All right," said Dr. Whitaker. "I'm glad to see both of you here today, I know your support really means a lot to Miley. I'm Dr. Whitaker, and we've got a lot to talk about today, so what do you say we get started?"

Glances darted between the three of them and then they all turned to him and nodded in unison.

———————————————

The session hadn't been that bad. It had run a little over an hour, but most of it wasn't the touchy-feely kind of stuff Jackson had expressed such an aversion to, instead tending toward more informational things, steps they could take to help Miley once she came home, and how to get the house ready for her return, things like that. Dr. Whitaker said Miley could walk them out to the front as long as she came right back, so they walked slowly in order to maximize their time together.

"Listen, Jackson," Miley said, still gripping his hand as they walked down the hall. She hadn't let go the entire session. "A while ago, I set things up with Paul and Juliana, so that if I ever...anyway, I had a will made up, and I set up a bank account in your name, so you'd be taken care of. Just in case something happened to me."

Jackson stopped in his tracks. "Miley, that's...you didn't have to do that."

Miley shrugged. "Yeah, well...there's a check card to the account in the desk in Dad's room if you need money now that you're back." Lilly shot a frantic look at Jackson and found him looking back with wide eyes. They'd never discussed anything about Jackson staying after today's visit. Miley had just assumed, and Lilly hoped Jackson wouldn't say anything to the contrary. Let me break it to her gently, Lilly begged him silently. Let her be happy for just a little while.

"Um, t-thanks, Miles," he stuttered. "I don't really want to steal money from you, though."

"Jackson, I've got more money than I know what to do with," Miley said. But about ten million less than you should have, Lilly thought. "And I don't give a shit about any of it. I'm just glad you're back." She hugged him and then looped her arm through his, starting them walking again. "The PIN is Mom's birthday."

Lilly dropped back a step and poked Jackson's shoulder to signal him to just let it go, but she needn't have worried because he was already thanking Miley again. Mercifully, the rest of the journey to the front door was accomplished without any other minefields appearing under their feet.

The car was already waiting in the driveway and they went through a round of hugs and goodbyes just outside the door. "Thank you so much," Miley whispered in Lilly's ear. "I don't know how you got him to come, but _thank you_."

"Ah, it was nothing," Lilly told her, smiling. She put both hands on the sides of Miley's head and pulled it down so she could kiss Miley's forehead. "Be strong in there. Just two more weeks and you'll be home. Whatever happens, remember I love you."

Miley grinned. "Even if I end up soaked in rivers of my own sweat on national television and get our car repossessed?"

Lilly laughed and swatted lightly at the side of Miley's head. "Even then. Especially then."

Miley moved over to embrace Jackson one last time. "Thanks for coming," she said. "I missed you. I love you."

"I really am sorry, Miles," Jackson said. "I know we never had the best relationship, but you're my sister, and I love you."

Miley hugged him harder and kissed him on the cheek, waving to both of them as they made their way back to the car. Lilly piled in after Jackson and a second later the car started down the drive, tires hissing on the asphalt.

They twisted around to look out the back windshield, watching Miley watch the car pull away until it turned out onto the road and she was lost from view.

"You really are her friend, aren't you?" Jackson asked.

"Yes," Lilly said. She turned back around in the seat and put on her seatbelt. "Are you going back to the beach?"

"I was," Jackson said. He sighed. "But I don't think I could do that to her now. I didn't know...I didn't know she cared that much about me."

"You're her brother," Lilly said. "Of course she cares about you." Jackson didn't say anything, staring out the window instead. "So you're staying then?" she prodded, wanting to make sure she wasn't going to have to do damage control.

He turned his head, met her eyes. "Yeah," he said. "I'm staying."

———————————————

Lilly surprised Jackson by knowing just as many hideyholes around the house as he did. They were systematically going through the house and ridding it of anything related to alcohol. They were almost done with the first floor. The freezer alone had yielded several hundred dollars worth of premium vodka, and there was practically a full bar spread between three of the lower kitchen cabinets, all of which had now been poured down the drain. That wasn't even counting the stuff Miley had secreted in various spots. Lilly wondered who she'd been hiding it from, with no one else in the house. Herself, maybe.

Jackson stared at her agog as she clambered up on the counter and deftly reached into one of the large, decorative vases on the shelf, coming away with a small bottle of gin. She laughed at the expression on his face as she jumped down off the counter.

"How do you always know where she's hiding this stuff?" Jackson asked, shaking his head. Lilly knew because Miley used to hide her diary there, sometimes, to keep it out of Jackson's clutches. She knew at least a dozen other places like that, most of them upstairs. "How long did you say you've known Miley again?"

Lilly twisted the cap off the bottle and tipped the clear liquid out into the sink. "Longer than you think," she muttered under her breath.

"What?" Jackson said.

"I said, a while," Lilly told him.

"It's just you seem to know her so well," Jackson said. "And I didn't think she...she never really let anyone get close to her once she hit it big. Most of the people who came around were the same ones who hadn't given her the time of day before she got famous. The kind of people who would use me to get to her. She knew she couldn't trust them."

"She knows she can trust me," Lilly said shortly, wanting this conversation to end. She threw the now-empty bottle into the large cardboard box with the rest of them. She'd get Brian to take them down to the recycling center later. No way was she putting them out here where Oliver and Rico could get their hands on them. "Come on, let's look upstairs."

She was rooting around under Miley's bed, chasing after a bottle of Grey Goose that kept rolling just out of reach, when she heard Jackson's shout. He was down the hall searching his dad's room. Lilly had knocked on the door of the guest room and enlisted Angel's help to search there while she did Miley's room. A few seconds later she'd gone back out in the hall, intending to tell Angel that she had to be sure to look _everywhere_, and had found five bottles of various shapes and sizes neatly lined up outside the guest room door. She'd thought about asking Angel to do the rest of the house, but the door was shut and Lilly was suddenly certain that Angel didn't want to be disturbed again.

Jackson's shout made her jerk her head up, banging it on the underside of the box spring. She let out a noise that was more surprise than pain and lunged forward, finally grabbing the neck of the bottle. She wriggled backwards until she was out from under the bed, then tossed it on the bed before running down the hall. He wasn't in Robby Ray's room.

"Jackson?" she called.

"I'm down here," he yelled from the living room.

"What happened?" she asked, thundering down the stairs. "What did you find?"

He was sitting at the counter with the phone in front of him, his face pale.

"What is it?" Lilly asked again.

"This," Jackson said, holding up a City National bank card. "I found it when I was going through Dad's desk, so I thought I'd check and see how much money was in the account." He swallowed. "There's two million dollars in it."

Lilly almost laughed at how upset Jackson looked. "Yeah, she – " She cut herself off. She'd started to say that Miley seemed to make a habit of giving away millions, but if she told him about her money he'd undoubtedly want to know _why_ Miley had given it to her, and Lilly didn't have an answer to that. He'd only just started to accept that her motives for helping Miley were pure, and evading questions about how she'd ended up with millions of Miley's money wasn't going to help with any lingering suspicions. "She just wanted to make sure you were taken care of, Jackson."

"I can't take this," he said, still looking shellshocked. "I can't take this from her."

Yeah, Lilly thought. I know how you feel. "Let's finish cleaning out the house," she suggested, taking the bank card from him and setting it on the counter. "You can pay her back by making sure _she's_ taken care of when she gets home."

———————————————

Friday was a calm day, and Lilly spent most of it on the beach, with exception of the few hours she went with her father to visit the accountant and sign a bunch of things. When her phone rang and the display showed the number at her parents' house she thought it was him again, but instead her mother's voice came over the line.

"Your father and Ben would like you to come to brunch tomorrow," she said, giving no hint that she herself shared their desire, but she was calling, and that was something. The past few weeks had taught Lilly to take anything she could get and she jumped at this.

Jackson was still asleep when she left shortly after nine the next morning. He was finally getting used to his room again, though he slept with the door open and still spent most of the day out on the beach. Lilly was getting him in the habit of coming in once it got dark by having food ready, and the modeling clay she picked up at an art supply store downtown got him to stay once he'd eaten. The shelves and counters in the kitchen and the coffee table in the living room now sported miniatures of various kinds of marine life.

The morning was sunny, the air still pleasantly cool from the night before, and Lilly meandered down the sidewalk towards her house, trying to balance her naturally optimistic nature with the pessimism this place had forced on her. Would she be able to get through to her mother, convince her that she really had changed, or was she just going to make things worse again? If only she'd stop insisting that Lilly have nothing to do with Miley. Anything else, Lilly would do, but not that. She couldn't.

The familiar door loomed in front of her and Lilly knocked, still feeling out-of-place at her own home. It wasn't her home, not really, she tried telling herself, but the reminder that she'd never see her real home again only made it worse.

Ben answered. "Dude, lighten up, it's not your funeral," he told her.

"We'll see," Lilly said, and Ben laughed.

"She's in a pretty good mood," he said, opening the door wider and stepping back so she could get past him.

"Define pretty good," Lilly muttered.

He watched her as she walked past, serious now. "This was her idea, you know."

She hadn't. "It was?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I think she wants to stop fighting. But you know mom."

"She's not going to make it easy," Lilly finished. Still, she cautiously allowed herself to hope.

The table in the dining room was covered with the red-and-gold tablecloth Lilly's aunt had brought back from China a year – no, two and a half years ago – and her mother's good dishes were laid out on the matching placemats.

"See?" Ben whispered from behind her. "She went all out."

Lilly nodded numbly. Her mother only ever got out the good china for guests, people she wanted to impress. The gesture was well-intentioned, but it made Lilly feel more like an outsider in her own home than anything else ever could have and had effectively just killed her appetite.

Her father appeared in the door from the kitchen, carrying a platter heaped with scrambled eggs. "Lilly!" he said cheerfully. "I thought I heard the door." He set the platter in the middle of the table and circled it to give her a hug.

"Hi, daddy," Lilly said, hugging him back. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too, Lillygoat," he said. "I had your mom make twice as much food as usual, I hope you're up to the job."

Lilly smiled tightly. "I'll try. How's mom?"

He glanced over his shoulder and then leaned close, keeping his voice low. "A nervous wreck. She really wants this to go well. She misses you, too."

Lilly swallowed. "I miss her so much. I hope this works."

"It will," he assured her, and if Lilly had gotten her stubbornness from her mother, her optimism was definitely her dad's.

A moment later, her mother appeared in the doorway. This time the platter being brought in had a selection of fruit: cantaloupe, honey dew, grapes, and some early strawberries. "Lilly," Heather said, nodding, with that same detached tone of voice she'd used to extend the invitation yesterday. "It was nice of you to come."

"Thanks for having me," Lilly said awkwardly, hating having to say it. This was her mother, and she was reduced to the kind of stilted pleasantries you used with people you barely knew. She looked desperately at her father.

"Well, well, let's eat," he said quickly, motioning for them to take their seats. "I'm starving, and I'm sure Lilly is, too."

Things got slightly better once they started eating. Lilly complimented her mom on the eggs, making sure to take a large helping. Her mom and dad exchanged an undecipherable look when she did, and then her mother gingerly offered her the muffins, acting like she expected Lilly to turn her down. They were apple cinnamon, Lilly's favorite, and her dad and Ben didn't like cinnamon, so Lilly knew her mother must have made them just for her. She took two, and another look passed between her parents.

They talked about safe subjects for most of the meal: the weather, her dad's latest project, Ben's upcoming graduation, and his college choices all got covered in depth. Lilly was careful to contribute to the conversation, but for her the best part of the meal was watching her parents interact. It was obvious they still loved each other, and Lilly could barely believe there was actually something that was better in this universe than her own.

She was busy marveling over that fact to herself when, out of the blue, the conversation veered into dangerous territory.

"Your father tells me the sale of the townhouse was finalized yesterday," Heather said.

Lilly put her fork down and wiped her mouth with her napkin. "That's right." She'd also taken most of the clothes to a boutique on Ventura Boulevard that specialized in reselling designer clothes.

"And you'll be finished with this transfer process sometime next week?"

"Yes," Lilly said. She really didn't like this line of questioning.

"We're waiting for some of the higher-end effects to be sold," Alan explained. "And for the severance packages for the maid and driver to be finalized." Thankfully, they'd worked it out so that she'd still have Brian on call until the end of the month, which meant she wouldn't have to worry about how to get Miley home from rehab.

"And what are you planning to do once this is complete?" Heather asked.

"I – I guess I'll have to get a job," Lilly said. "I'd like to go back to school, if I can."

"That would be much easier for you here," her mother said.

Lilly took a sip of her orange juice to give herself time to think. "I'm not sure that's the best idea," she said as diplomatically as she could. And she wasn't. Even if her mother rescinded her no-contact-with-Miley ultimatum, the group session had further convinced Lilly that staying at Miley's house would probably be the best thing for her. There was no way of knowing if Jackson was going to stick around or get his own place, and anyway Lilly would feel a lot better if she could keep an eye on Miley herself.

"And what would your better idea be?" Heather demanded, a slight edge to her voice. "I think you'll find it very difficult to support yourself and try to finish high school at the same time."

"I've been staying at Hannah's – Miley's," Lilly said quietly. "I'll probably keep staying there." She heard Ben's sharp intake of breath but wouldn't let herself look at him. She stared at the last bits of egg and the half-strip of bacon left on her plate instead, knowing that the waves of anger she could feel radiating off her mother likely meant this brunch would be ending badly, and soon.

"That girl is the reason you're in this situation," Heather said coldly. "The last thing you need is to spend more time around her."

"Mom, I told you, it's not her fault," Lilly said. "And she's going through a lot right now. She needs me."

"She certainly does not," her mother snapped. "She has plenty of people to look after her. It's not your responsibility to – "

"Yes, it is," Lilly argued. "She's my friend."

"She is not your friend," Heather hissed. "She is manipulating you, exactly the way she did – "

"She is not manipulating me!" Lilly yelled, so loudly that they all sat in stunned silence for a moment.

"All I know is that _that girl_ was the reason you left this family," Heather said. "And now she's the reason you aren't rejoining it."

There was a lump in Lilly's throat and it was getting hard to breathe. "Thank you for brunch," she said carefully. "I think I should go now." She pushed back her chair and walked mechanically out of the room, heading for the front door.

Her father and Ben caught up with her in the living room. "Lilly, wait," Alan said. "She didn't really mean that."

"Yeah, it's just Mom," Ben chimed in.

"I'll talk to her some more," her dad said. "She really didn't ask you here to fight, Lilly. This is just hard for her to accept. It's all been so sudden."

Lilly wanted to scream at him. Sudden? This wasn't sudden. Sudden was having six minutes to decide what your life was going to be. Sudden was waking up one morning to find out that everything you ever loved was broken, and that even if you managed to glue it all back together the cracks would always be there. This wasn't sudden, this was what came after. This was a shard that kept slipping out of her hand every time she tried to put it back in place, leaving her sliced and bloody. This was the rest of her life.

Her dad wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly, and after a moment Lilly blew out a slow breath, letting most of her anger go with it, and hugged him back. "Just...just tell her I'm not doing this to be difficult," she said. "I can't leave Miley. I'd be too worried about what she would do to herself."

"Surely it can't be as serious as that?" her father asked doubtfully. Hopelessness drained the rest of Lilly's anger away. If she couldn't even convince her dad, there was no way her mother would ever –

"Lillian," Heather said from the doorway. "We'll be going out to dinner on Tuesday to celebrate your grandmother's birthday. She'd like it if you could attend."

Lilly gave her a wavering but sincere smile. "I'd love to."

———————————————

Miley called Tuesday night. "Thanks again for coming," she said, before Lilly could even ask how she was doing.

"Knock it off," Lilly said, annoyed. She'd just gotten back from dinner, and she was tired of this, of people not acting the way they were supposed to. Miley, of all people, should at least treat her the same, and back home Miley would have pitched a fit if Lilly hadn't shown up, and then given her the silent treatment for a month. "Do you really think I would have been anywhere else?"

There was a short silence, then Miley said uncertainly, "Sorry, I – "

"No, I'm sorry," Lilly interrupted. Miley was in rehab, and here Lilly was snapping at her for no reason. "I went to dinner with my parents and grandma and it was a long night, and I'm just really tired and not in a good mood. I didn't mean to take it out on you." Jackson was out on the back porch, so Lilly slid open the door, holding up her take-out container when Jackson turned around. She wondered if she should take the alacrity with which he scrambled to grab it as an insult to her non-existent cooking skills.

"Things still aren't going well with your mother?" Miley asked sympathetically. Jackson had disappeared inside with the food; Lilly shut the door and took a seat on the bench, deciding to stay outside so she could talk to Miley privately.

"No, actually, I think they're getting better," Lilly said. Dinner had gone well, mostly because they had all been careful not to even come close to bringing up Miley, plus none of them wanted to argue in front of Lilly's grandmother, whose health was not the best. But it had still been a strain, having to work so hard just to keep things civil with her mother, to have that distance between them. "But we'll see." She looked back through the glass door and watched Jackson shove food into his mouth. "Hey, we've started keeping the blinds up." Jackson had insisted. He couldn't stand not being able to see outside.

"You haven't seen anyone hanging around?" Miley asked.

"Nope," Lilly said. "Except for Oliver that once."

"You _saw_ him?" Miley asked. "He came to the house?"

"Um, no," Lilly admitted. "I kind of went to see him at Rico's."

"Oh, Lilly," Miley said sadly. "You shouldn't have done that."

"I know," Lilly said. "I know that now." She hesitated. "I might go see him again."

"Lilly, no," Miley said.

"If I just talk to him – "

"_No_, Lilly," Miley said. "He isn't going to change. Don't do that to yourself."

"But how do you know?" Lilly insisted, trying desperately to hold onto hope even though the words _fuck off, bitch_ had been haunting her the past two weeks, cutting across her mind at random moments, stinging like a whip.

"I tried, Lilly," Miley said. "I tried talking to him. I tried – I brought him to the house, I tried to be his friend..."

"What happened?" Lilly asked, dreading the answer.

"He stole from me," Miley said, her voice devoid of any emotion. "He stole things when I wasn't looking and auctioned them off online."

Lilly started crying. She knew, in that moment, what she had known before but hadn't wanted to admit. She knew she wouldn't see Oliver again.

"Please don't cry, Lilly," Miley begged. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"I've known him since preschool," Lilly said, sobbing, hiccoughing. "We've been friends since we were three, and when I went to talk to him, he told me – he said, 'Fuck off, bitch.' He told me he never wanted to see me again."

"God, Lilly, I am so sorry," Miley said, sounding like she was fighting back tears herself. "Please don't hate me."

"What?" Lilly said, using her sleeve to mop up some of the tears from her face and struggling to get herself under control. "I don't hate you. I could never hate you."

"This is all my fault," Miley said.

"No, it isn't," Lilly said. What was she doing? She couldn't break down like that in front of Miley, not now. She couldn't do anything that would make Miley upset and risk her recovery. "It's not your fault. And I'm okay, I just lost it for a minute. I told you, it's been a long night."

"Lilly...," Miley started, not sounding like she believed her.

"Hey, do you want to talk to Jackson?" Lilly asked, injecting some measure of cheer into her voice. She wasn't sure she wouldn't start crying again, and she didn't want to be on the phone if she did. "I think he's done inhaling my leftovers by now."

"I...sure," Miley said. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Totally fine," Lilly said. She went inside and found Jackson in the kitchen, putting his plate in the dishwasher. "I promise. Don't worry about me, okay? I'm gonna hand you over to Jackson now. Call again soon if you can."

She thrust the phone at Jackson, barely hearing Miley's hurried goodbye, and Jackson stared at her with such concern that Lilly knew she must look close to losing it again. She shook her head to warn him not to ask, and thankfully he didn't, just took the phone from her. Lilly went to sit on the couch, propping her elbows on her knees and covering her face with her hands.

She breathed in slowly, trying to get herself together. He's not your Oliver, she told herself, which she should have known was a mistake. Her Oliver was back home, with Hannah, with the other Lilly, and he wouldn't have any idea what had happened. A few more tears leaked out between her fingers.

Oliver, she thought wretchedly. Oliver, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I left. I miss you, I love you. Please be okay.

———————————————

**Oh, look! It is the depressing end to a chapter we have all come to know and dread! And it was going semi-well up until then, wasn't it? I love how like half this story is Lilly crying. She will not cry so much in the sequel! That is my promise to **_**you**_**.**

**Last chapter! Friday! Hopefully by then I will have stopped using exclamation points!**


	6. Take Away The Glamour

**I just want to say thanks again to everyone who is reading and most of all reviewing this story. I honestly didn't think that anyone would want to sit through this cracky AU, and sometimes I still can't believe so many people are reading and liking this. So thanks, y'all.**

**Qym, My Personal Rose, Turn.Me.On, Bladed Darkness, and everyone else who is worrying/wondering about what's happening to Oliver, Hannah, the other Lilly, and everyone back in the canon verse...I have always intended to write that. I just need to stop being lazy and actually do it. **

**First there is going to be the sequel to this story, though, and as I've said before, it will be Miley/Lilly. **

**live2rite and TutorGurlTigger: Yeah, Lilly's mom has some Miley issues. Those will be addressed more in the sequel.**

**mileymadness: Your strategy is exactly how I survived high school. Not with my own fic, of course, but the same kind of thing. I hope thinking about this chapter helped you get through today. Your reviews are wonderful and way too nice, seriously.**

———————————————

**Chapter Five: Take Away The Glamour**

———————————————

_Nothing to do but move.  
Nowhere to go but on,  
to creep, and breathe, and learn  
a blue beyond belief,  
Nothing to do but live.  
Nowhere to be but gone._

- Christian Wiman, "This Inwardness, This Ice"

———————————————

**15 April – 16 April 2008**

Miley was coming home. Lilly tapped her fingers nervously against the armrest on the inside of the car door as Brian made the turn into the driveway of the rehab center, stopping at the manned gate for the guard to let them through. It wasn't that she wasn't happy Miley would be coming back with them, but there were a million questions she couldn't get out of her head.

Was Miley really well enough to come back? Would she want to start drinking again when she saw what everyone had been saying about her? If she did, would Lilly be able to stop her? Would Miley hate Lilly for forcing her to go into rehab and making her the target of all that negative attention? Was she going to get pissed off when Lilly told her she was giving the money back but she didn't have all of it? What was going to happen when Miley started doing concerts again? Would she be able to support Miley enough that she wouldn't try to drink? Were they ever going to reach a point where this life was something resembling normal instead of a nightmare?

But she forgot all that the instant the car stopped and Miley came out of the center's front door.

"There she is!" Lilly said to Jackson, jumping out and running to meet her with Jackson on her heels.

"Oof!" Miley said when Lilly hugged her without quite stopping her forward motion. She almost dropped the suitcase she was carrying and awkwardly wrapped her free arm around Lilly's shoulders. "Good to see you, too, Lilly."

"Sorry," Lilly said, letting her go. "But it _is_ good to see you. You look a lot better." Which she did, no longer looking like she was skin and bones, though Lilly thought she was still too thin. But the circles were gone from under her eyes and her hair framed her face in loose waves. Her roots were _really_ showing now.

"I got that, Miles," Jackson said, taking the suitcase from her and giving her a hug of his own in greeting. "You ready to get out of here?"

Miley grinned. "Past ready." She linked arms with Lilly and they strolled back to the car while Jackson got Brian to pop the trunk so he could put the suitcase in. Lilly had meant to sit up front and let Jackson have the back with Miley, but Miley pushed her into the backseat and climbed in after, not giving Lilly much choice in the matter.

"No one followed you, did they?" Miley asked. "Was anyone hanging around the house?"

"No," Lilly said. "And I saw a thing on ET last night that said you aren't coming home until Thursday." Miley had gotten her publicist to leak the false information so that she could hopefully make it home without incident and have a day or two before the vultures attacked, but Miley's questions just reminded Lilly of her earlier worries.

"Miley," she started, "I'm really sorry about the press. It – "

"Don't worry about it, Lilly," Miley said, as though Lilly could just stop. "I knew this would happen when I left."

"I didn't," Lilly said as Jackson got in the front seat and the car moved to begin their journey back. "I mean, I did, but not like this."

Miley grimaced and laid her head back against the seat. "That bad, huh?"

"I'm sorry," Lilly said again.

Jackson turned around in his seat to look at them. "You think you're ready to face all this?" he asked, voicing another of Lilly's worries.

Miley shrugged. "I guess I'll have to be." That didn't make Lilly feel any less anxious.

———————————————

Miley had never been more glad to see a place than when they pulled up in front of the house. It had been her refuge for the past year and a half, the place where she hid herself away from the prying public eye, but now that Jackson and Lilly were there, it was more than that. It was home again.

She followed Lilly from the car into the familiar confines of the living room, Jackson bringing up the rear with the suitcase. A handmade _Welcome Back, Miley_ banner was tacked up on the wall above the piano and Miley stopped in her tracks to stare at it.

Lilly came and linked her arm through Miley's, and Jackson put an arm around Miley's shoulders. "Welcome home, Miles," he said.

Miley swallowed around the lump in her throat. "Thanks, guys."

Jackson took the suitcase and set it at the foot of the stairs, clearing his throat uncomfortably. "I'm just gonna...let you get settled, or whatever, and I'll just be outside for a minute." He hurried to the back door and was outside before she could say anything.

"What the...?"

"I closed all the blinds before we went to get you," Lilly explained. "Sometimes he doesn't like it when he can't see outside. But don't worry, he's getting better."

"I...okay," Miley said, still a little confused. He didn't like not being able to see outside?

"We've had them open while you were gone," Lilly continued. "No one's been around. Even Oliver stopped spying."

"You went to see Oliver again?" Miley asked. "I thought – "

"No," Lilly said. "Jackson was out on the beach one day last week and saw him looking at the house. He smashed up Oliver's telescope and told him that if he ever caught him doing that again his face would be next. Jackson's been checking every day and hasn't seen him once."

"Wow," Miley said, not sure how to feel about that. She cast her eyes around the house to see if anything had changed while she was gone. There were little statues everywhere, figurines of fish and crabs and coral that looked like they were made out of clay. What the hell?

"Yeah," Lilly said. "Come on, let's take your stuff upstairs. I bet you can't wait to sleep in your own bed tonight."

"You have no idea," Miley told her, picking up the suitcase and leading the way up the stairs. "Where's Angel?"

"In the guest room," Lilly said. "She doesn't really come out a lot. I think she's doing some kind of meditation or something, I don't know. I don't think she likes it down here very much."

"Oh," Miley said guiltily. It was her fault Angel was stuck here.

"I'll get my stuff out of here later," Lilly said as they came through the door into Miley's room. "I would have sooner, but Angel's kinda claimed the guest room, and now Jackson's back, and I didn't know what...I hope you don't mind that I was in here, I just didn't really have anywhere..." She trailed off and Miley realized she didn't know where Lilly was planning to stay now that she was out of rehab.

"Are you – did you – ?" she stuttered, then tried again. "I mean, are you thinking about going back to your parents' house? I know you said things were getting a little better."

Lilly sat down heavily on the bed. It was made, Miley noticed, which Lilly must have done just for her, since she normally never made her bed. "They are, sort of. My mom and I are talking again, and it's okay. Mostly. There's just one thing."

Miley dropped her suitcase on the floor in front of her closet and went to sit next to Lilly on the bed. She'd deal with unpacking later. "What's that?"

"My mom, she, uh, she kinda...blames you? For what happened," Lilly said. "She said if I move back home, I can't have any contact with you."

"Oh," Miley said, barely able to get the word out. Her mind immediately went to all the places in the house she'd stashed liquor, and she wondered for a second if Lilly and Jackson had found them all before forcing the thought away. "Do you – I mean, I'd understand if you want to – "

"No!" Lilly said. "Don't be stupid. I just – " She laughed dully. "I just don't know where I'm going to live."

"What about the townhouse?" Miley asked, trying not to show how relieved she was. Sure, the townhouse was all the way in the city, but a forty-five minute drive was a lot easier to deal with than the prospect of never seeing Lilly again.

"Um, yeah, about that," Lilly said. She brought a hand up and rubbed at the back of her neck nervously. "I kind of, um, sold it. And most of my stuff. I'm giving you back your money, except some of it was spent, of course, but I guess the other Lilly had invested some of it, so that makes up for part of it, but it's still just a little under nine million, and I'm really sorry, I'll make it up to you somehow, I promise, I'll get a job or something, although I don't know what kind of job will let me pay back a million dollars, but maybe we can work out some kind of installment plan or something..."

She kept babbling but Miley could only gape at her. "Lilly!" she said finally, and Lilly immediately fell silent, looking at her sheepishly. "Why didn't you tell me this sooner? I would have told you not to sell the townhouse. You're not giving back the money, that's fucking ridiculous."

Lilly flushed. "It is not. It's your money."

"Lilly," Miley said. "If you're not living with your parents and you give back the money, how the hell are you going to support yourself? Where the hell are you going to live?"

Lilly jumped up from the bed and started pacing back and forth restlessly. "I thought, maybe, if it's okay with you, maybe I could stay here. And for the rest, like I said, I can get a job."

"Doing what?" Miley asked. "And what about school?" This was the stupidest fucking thing she'd ever heard.

"I can do both," Lilly said defensively.

"No. You're not giving the money back," Miley said.

"Yes, I am!" Lilly said, raising her voice.

"No, you damn well aren't because I won't fucking take it!" Miley yelled.

Lilly crossed her arms over her chest and glared at her. "Well, you're too late, because my dad got my accountant to transfer the money to your business manager three days ago, and _he_ was only too happy to take it!"

"Dammit, Lilly!" Miley rubbed her forehead. Why was Lilly making such a big deal over this? Didn't she understand that Miley didn't give a shit about money? And there was no way in hell she was going to let Lilly work herself to death for no reason when this whole thing was her fault. "Okay, fine. Then I'll just put your name on my accounts. You can stay here, of course, if you want. We can fix up Daddy's room for you. Or you can get a new place. I'll get Paul to get you your own cards, and you can just use those for whatever you need." She paused and smiled up at Lilly, pleased with her solution.

Lilly just stared at her, mouth hanging open. "You are _not_ putting my name on your accounts."

"Yes, I am," Miley said.

"No, you aren't!" Lilly argued.

"Am!"

"Aren't!" Lilly yelled.

Miley got up and put her hands on her hips, glowering at Lilly. "Yes. I. Am!"

And then they both started yelling over top of each other. "There is no way – "

"If you think – "

" – let you fucking waste your life – "

" – take your money, which you _earned_ – "

" – this is all my fault – "

" – have no right to – "

A knock on the doorframe startled them and they looked over to see Jackson standing in the open doorway. "I, uh, I was going to order pizza?" he said, looking worried. "And I just wanted to know what you guys wanted on it. Are you all right?"

Miley could tell that last part was directed towards her. "We're fine," she told him curtly. "She wants bacon and pineapple, I want mushroom and green pepper."

"Um, yeah," Jackson said uncertainly. "Okay. I'll just go...order that now, then."

"Jackson?" Miley said, and he turned back.

"Yeah?"

"Order an extra one with everything and have them deliver next door," she said. "Dontzig will bring it over if we get one for him and tip him twenty, and that way the delivery guy won't call the paparazzi."

"Right," Jackson said. "Good thinking. Um, anything else?"

"That's all," Miley said tightly. She went over and closed the door as his footsteps receded down the hall. Then she looked over at Lilly and their eyes met and they both burst out laughing.

"Oh, god, poor Jackson," Lilly said, collapsing back on the bed and staring up at the ceiling, still laughing. "He traded in his peaceful beach for the two of us screaming at each other."

"He's probably in shock that someone would argue with me," Miley said, walking over and flopping down next to her. "I can't remember the last time that happened before you got here."

"Oh, please," Lilly said, giggling. "I find it hard to believe that _no one_ would ever disagree with _you_."

"Hey! You'd better believe it, missy," Miley said loftily. "I'll have you know I'm a very pleasant person to be around."

Lilly started laughing again at that and Miley backhanded her lightly across the stomach. Lilly caught her hand and held it trapped between her stomach and her own hand, and Miley slid closer on the bed so that their shoulders touched. She'd missed this. Just having simple physical contact with another person, getting to hug her dad or slump against Lilly while they watched a movie or even getting punched in the arm by Jackson. She'd missed it so much.

"Let me put your name on the accounts," she said quietly, seriously.

"Miley..."

"Please," Miley begged. She pulled her hand free and turned on her side, propping her head on her hand so that she could look down at Lilly. "First of all, there is no way you're going to try to pay back the rest of that money. You didn't spend it, she did. So just get that out of your head. And you don't need to be dealing with working some dead end job on top of trying to catch up on all the time you missed. You can stay here, and I can buy things for you, but I'd rather you be able to do it yourself. This is the best way, you can just take what you need, and then I won't have to worry. I don't give a fuck about the money, seriously. Please let me do this for you, it's my fault you're even in this situation."

"Miley, it's just..._she_ took your money," Lilly said. "And I don't want you to think I'm anything like her."

"That could never happen, Lilly. Don't you know that?" Miley said, smiling gently, echoing words Lilly had once spoken to her, a very long time ago. "No matter how many Lillys there are in how many universes, you're one of a kind."

Lilly laughed softly. "One in a million?" she asked.

"One in a billion," Miley said, grinning down at her. She reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind Lilly's ear, her fingers lingering a moment to trace the edge of Lilly's jaw. "Let me put your name on the accounts."

Lilly stared at her for several seconds and Miley held her breath. She didn't know what she'd do if Lilly said no. "Okay."

"Okay?" Miley rolled over on her back and blew out a long breath in relief. "Okay. Good. And you'll stay here?" The idea was enticing. If Lilly was here all the time, it would be easier to stay sober. And she would make sure that Lilly was happy, as happy as she could be.

"I don't want to take your dad's room," Lilly said.

"He's never here," Miley said, but when she glanced at her Lilly didn't seem convinced, so she amended that to, "We'll think of something." She sat up and ran a hand through her hair. "I should probably go make sure Jackson got over his shock enough to order us dinner."

She found Jackson on the back porch, staring out at the smudge of ocean that was visible from their house. "Hey," she said.

"Hey," he said back, not taking his eyes from the water. "Just thought I'd wait for the pizza outside."

"What are you looking at?" Miley asked, squinting at the horizon he was watching so intently.

"Dolphins," he said. "You see 'em?" She shook her head and he raised an arm, pointing to a spot on the water, but she still couldn't make them out. They stood in silence for several minutes, Miley watching the waves and Jackson's eyes restlessly tracking the dolphins, his hands on the porch railing, body almost straining to race across the sand and join them.

"Everything okay?" Jackson finally asked, glancing over at her, the tautness leaving his body. She wondered if that meant they were gone.

"Fine," Miley said. "Lilly and I, we fight sometimes, but we never mean it, at least not for long. All bark, no bite."

"You sure?" Jackson asked. "You guys were barkin' pretty loud up there."

"Aw, that was nothin'," Miley said, laughing a little. "Wait'll you see Lilly when she _really_ gets upset." Although Miley would do her best to make sure Lilly never did. "That was just us being stupid. She wanted to give back some money I'd given her and I didn't want to take it."

"Speaking of money...," Jackson said.

Miley looked over at him, then exhaled noisily. "Oh no, don't you start, too."

"It's two million dollars, Miley," he said. "I've been living off of coins I found on the beach for the last two years, for god's sake. I can't take two million dollars."

Miley hesitated, not knowing quite how to tell him that, to her, two million was about on the level with change in the sand. "Jackson, you're going to need money. I mean, if you want to go back to school, or college, or even if you just want to stare at dolphins all day and never get a job, I don't care. I just don't want you to end up in a cave again because you don't have options. Besides, it's my fault you were out there to begin with, so – "

"It's not your fault," Jackson said. "I chose to leave."

"But you wouldn't have had to if it hadn't been for me," Miley said. "If Hannah hadn't made life here so unbearable for you."

"It wasn't unbearable," he protested weakly.

"Yes, it was," she said. "You don't have to tell me. I know." It had been unbearable for her, too. Not the singing, but everything that went along with it. And being alone. That most of all.

"Miley, I should have – "

"Don't," Miley cut him off. "Look, just take the money and we'll call it even, okay? Or I guess I could do what I'm doing with Lilly, that way if you ever need more..."

Jackson blanched. "More? It's too much already, I couldn't ever take more. And what are you doing with Lilly?"

"Hmm?" Miley said. She'd been musing about how apoplectic Paul was going to be when she called and had him add Lilly to the accounts. "Oh, I'm putting her name on my bank accounts. That way she can get whatever she needs."

"Do you really think that's such a good idea?" Jackson asked. "I mean, I know you guys are close, but..."

"I trust her with my life," she said.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Well, she just saved it," Miley said. "So, yeah."

"What if she takes all your money?" he said.

"Then she'll have a lot of money," Miley answered flatly. "Look, this isn't about Lilly. Keep the money. It'll make me feel better to know you have it."

Jackson hesitated a moment, then nodded. "Okay. But if you ever want it back..."

"I just want you to be able to have the kind of life you want," she said. "Whatever that is." She just hoped that he would want her in it.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

Miley shrugged uncomfortably. He didn't need to thank her. She hadn't done anything worth thanking her for.

A loud banging came from the direction of the front door, followed by Dontzig yelling. "Montana! I've got your damn pizza! A little warning would be nice next time, I was in the bath!"

Miley cringed, suddenly feeling very exposed outside in the open, and almost gave in to the urge to run back inside and hide herself. No, she thought defiantly, wanting to enjoy being outside while she still could. He couldn't see her here, and no one else was watching, not now. But soon enough they would be, and she'd be forced to stay inside if she wanted any privacy. Standing here now, thinking about that, the house seemed more like a prison than a refuge.

"I'll get it," Jackson said.

Miley nodded gratefully. "Don't let him know I'm here," she reminded him.

He went inside and Miley looked back out at the ocean, saw a swift gray blur that could have been one of Jackson's dolphins. She was so damn tired of people watching her all the time. She was so damn tired of not being able to do anything without scrutiny. And she was so fucking tired of the entire fucking world having an opinion on her life.

———————————————

Jackson went out on the beach after dinner. Miley opted for staying on the back porch, not wanting to stray too far from the house and get spotted. She watched his slowly retreating back get smaller and smaller until the back door opened behind her.

"Don't worry," Lilly said. "He goes out a lot, but he'll be back before dark."

"Good," Miley said, smiling a little when Lilly joined her at the railing. "You checkin' up on me?"

"Ma-a-aybe," Lilly said, drawing the word out, then laughing when Miley elbowed her in the ribs. "It's your first night back, I just wanted to see how you're doing."

"I'm all right," Miley said. "It's good to be back, and see you guys. I know it's going to get harder, though." Tomorrow it would get harder. Tomorrow she'd have to face the rest of the world. But there was time enough for that tomorrow. She was supposed to take this one day at a time.

"Yeah," Lilly agreed. "But – "

"You two all right out here?" Angel asked, coming through the door.

"Hey, Angel," Miley greeted her.

"You missed pizza," Lilly told her. "There's some left over in the fridge if you want it."

Miley looked at Angel in surprise. "You eat?" she asked.

"On occasion," Angel told her. "I was just coming to see if you're okay, baby girl."

"What is it with everyone checking on me?" Miley said, pretending to be annoyed.

Of course, Lilly saw right through her. "You'd better get used to it," she said. "Because you're stuck with me now, and I'm expecting hourly updates." Miley elbowed her again, but internally she was pleased. It had been a long time since someone had cared that much about her. "So get it through you're head that you're gonna have to be good."

"I'll keep that in mind," Miley said. Be good, huh? That meant staying sober, obviously, and remembering to eat, which wouldn't be a problem with Lilly around. And... "I guess if I'm being good I should probably get tested."

"Tested for what?" Lilly asked.

"No," Angel said. "You don't have to. You're clean. Both of you."

"Oh," Lilly said, her voice very small. She looked so stricken that Miley's heart seized up. Oh, god. She couldn't even imagine what it must be like for Lilly, finding out something like this. She put a hand on Lilly's shoulder, but Lilly shrugged it off, shying away from her, and turned her back.

"Lilly, I'm sorry," Miley said.

"Stop it," Lilly said fiercely. "Don't apologize. It's not your fault."

"Yes, it is," Miley insisted.

"I said stop!" Lilly yelled, and then rushed inside, pushing past Angel and running up the stairs. Miley stood stunned for a second before starting after her.

"Let her go," Angel said, stopping her. "Give her a minute."

"But – " Miley said, worried.

"She'll be all right," Angel promised. "She's a strong one. But she's been through a lot and she's still adjusting. Some things just take time."

This is all my fault, Miley thought, feeling the guilt that had been her constant companion for the last year and a half surge back up. There was no way she was going to say that in front of Lilly again, though, not if she could help it. Not if got a reaction like that. And it was Miley's cross to bear; Lilly didn't need to be burdened with it.

"She shouldn't have to adjust to something like that," Miley said. "She should – " She couldn't even finish that thought, let alone voice it.

"She'll be all right," Angel said again, but Miley didn't know what that meant.

"Things will get better," Miley murmured, half to herself. "I'll make them better. And _I'll_ be better. I'm never touching a drop of that shit ever again."

"You should tell her what happened," Angel said. "She wants to know."

"No," Miley said, shaking her head and chopping her hand down through the air for good measure. That was something else Lilly didn't need to be burdened with. "It doesn't matter now."

"Of course it does," Angel said.

"Lilly says you've been spending a lot of time in the guest room," Miley said, deliberately changing the subject. She wasn't going to talk about that. It was over and done with, and Lilly was here. That was the only important thing. "Are you okay?"

Angel shot her a look that clearly stated she knew what Miley was doing. "I'm all right," she answered nonetheless. "It's just...difficult, being here. There are so many people."

"What?" Miley said, puzzled. "What do you mean? You never said anything about that before. And aren't there more people up, um..." She half-shrugged. "You know?"

Angel laughed a little. "In a way, yes, but space works differently there. Time, too. And the conception of...you know what? It's kind of hard to explain." That was okay. Miley wasn't really sure she was supposed to know. "But everyone is too close here, I can feel them all the time. It didn't bother me before, but it's different now. Now that I won't be going back."

Miley bit her lip. That was her fault, too. "Angel, I'm sorry, I – " She took the few steps between them and hugged the other woman tightly. "Thank you. I know that's not enough for what you did, for what you've given up, but thank you."

"You don't need to thank me, child," Angel said, hugging her back. "I only did...well. Not what was right, but what I could to try and make things that way."

"You never gave up on me," Miley said. She released Angel and stepped back, ducking her head in remembered shame. "Even though I tried to make you. I didn't treat you very well, and I'm sorry, but even after all of that you didn't give up. You brought Lilly here."

"Lilly did that," Angel said. "I only gave her a wish, and not much time or information for making it."

Miley looked up. "I should...I think it's my turn for checking up now."

Angel let her go this time and Miley climbed the stairs quickly. Lilly was in her room, sitting on the edge of the bed with a pillow clutched to her chest, eyes staring blankly at the floor. She glanced up when Miley came in and tried to smile. "I'm okay," she said. "Really. Sorry, I didn't mean to get so upset."

"Lilly, I – " Miley cut off the apology, not wanting to set Lilly off again. "Did you know?" she asked instead.

"Yeah," Lilly said. Miley sat down next to her. "I found her lingerie drawer when I was cleaning out the townhouse. I've just been trying not to think about it. It's just disturbing, you know?"

Miley nodded mutely. She didn't know what to say. She didn't even know if there _was_ anything to say in a situation like this one. No one else had ever been in it before.

Lilly laid her head on Miley's shoulder. "Sometimes life really sucks."

I'm sorry, Miley thought in despair. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

A second later, Lilly bounced up from the bed, tossing the pillow down. "Hey, do you want some ice cream?" she asked, eyes sparkling. "There's triple chocolate chunk downstairs, and I got chocolate syrup to go with it. C'mon, let's go get some before Jackson gets back or he'll eat it all."

She practically bounded out of the room, leaving Miley staring after her, dumbfounded. What was it Angel had said? That Lilly was strong? Miley didn't think she'd ever met anyone stronger.

Shaking her head, she got up and went downstairs to have some ice cream.

———————————————

Miley set about calling everyone in the morning while Lilly was still out surfing. Jackson was gone, too, which would have worried her if the note Lilly had left on her pillow saying she'd gone surfing hadn't included a postscript telling her Jackson usually went out during the day. He'd be back for lunch, the note assured her, followed by a smiley face and then a p.p.s. to call Lilly on her cell when she got up.

She'd been a little disappointed that Lilly wasn't there when she woke up, but the note made her smile, and Lilly had always been more of an early riser than Miley. And the second postscript probably meant she felt like she had to hang around with Miley all day, so Miley couldn't fault her for taking the opportunity to get out of the house while Miley was still asleep.

It was after eleven when she made it downstairs, almost noon, and the door to the guest room was still closed. She was starting to see what Lilly meant about Angel shutting herself up in there. Something would have to be done about that.

But first she had to deal with her own situation. Miley had decided last night, staring up at the dark ceiling and listening to Lilly breathing next to her, slow and even. Things couldn't keep going the way they had been.

So she got a pot of coffee brewing and sat at the island in the kitchen to call everyone – agent, publicist, lawyer, business manager – asking them to meet at the house around six that night. She wanted to do this today, while her resolve was strong, but Juliana especially had things earlier that couldn't be moved. She called Paul, her business manger, last, since she had other things to discuss with him, and it was just as well Lilly was gone. Paul wasn't going to be happy and it might be better if Lilly didn't have to hear this conversation.

"Paul?" she asked when his secretary put her through.

"Hannah," he said, surprise and relief evident in his voice. "Thank god, I've been calling every day. I was so worried. What happened? How are you?"

"Miley," Miley said.

"What?" he asked, confused.

Miley bit back a sigh. "I'd prefer it if you'd call me Miley from now on."

"Oh," he said. "I – All right. Are you okay...Miley?"

"I'm fine," she said. She wasn't, really, but that was the answer he wanted, and she might as well start getting used to answering that question. "But I haven't seen any of the press yet, and I'm sure that's not going to help." She didn't want to think about what they'd been saying about her this past month.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Are you still in, um...?"

"No, I'm home," she told him. "I got back yesterday."

"I thought it wasn't until Thursday," he said.

"That's what people are supposed to think," Miley said. "Listen, I need you to come out to the house around six tonight. There's something I need to go over with you."

"Sure," he agreed. "I have a dinner meeting, but I'll cancel. The guy's a giant bore, you'll actually be doing me a favor."

"Good," Miley said. "And I need you to do something for me. Quickly."

"Name it."

"You remember Lilly Truscott?" she asked.

"Funny you should mention her," he said. "She – "

"Gave back the money, I know," she said. "She told me. I need you to add her onto my accounts, joint access. Get some cards made up in her name and have them sent to the house, asap."

Nothing but silence came through the phone for a long moment. "Han – Miley," Paul said carefully. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"I don't give a shit," Miley said. "Do it."

"Miley, a year ago she – "

"Things are different now," Miley snapped, not wanting to be reminded of what things had been like a year ago. "Don't fucking argue with me, just do what I'm asking."

The back door opened and Miley twisted around to see Lilly come inside in board shorts and a rash guard, her hair wet. She put one hand on her hip and frowned at Miley, which Miley took to mean: You were supposed to call me. Miley shrugged back apologetically and pointed to the phone she was holding to her ear.

"You pay me to watch out for your financial assets," Paul was saying. "And I have to _strongly_ advise against this. Giving that girl access to – "

Miley turned back around so she wasn't facing Lilly. "Goddammit, Paul!" she snarled. She didn't have the time or inclination to fight with him about this. "Just do it. And draw up a list of those assets while you're at it and send it to Juliana." Her will needed to be updated.

"But – "

She hung up on him, breathing heavily. "Bastard."

"I don't like it when you do that," Lilly said from behind her.

"Do what?" Miley asked, twisting in her seat again.

"Curse like that," Lilly said, not meeting Miley's eyes. "You never used to."

Miley licked her lips, trying to ignore the way that pronouncement made her stomach drop. She didn't even notice the swearing anymore. What else was she doing wrong without realizing it? She would have to be more careful. "I'll stop," she said.

"You don't have to," Lilly said quickly. "I didn't mean to – "

"No, you're right," Miley said. "It's a bad habit, and I'm getting rid of those now, right?"

Lilly finally looked up, smiled. "Right."

———————————————

Lilly inspected her sandwich carefully. It was evenly, perfectly golden brown on both sides, and when she pried apart the two pieces of bread a tiny bit the cheese inside looking mouthwateringly melty. "This is so beautiful," she said in an awed whisper.

"It's a grilled cheese sandwich, Lilly," Miley said sardonically.

"Yeah, well, you should have seen what happened last time I tried to make one," Lilly told her, remembering the charred black hockey puck she'd been forced to throw away. She took a huge bite of this much-improved, Miley-made sandwich and then had to suck in air as the cheese burned the roof of her mouth. "Hot, hot, hot!" she yelped, and drank half her glass of milk in one gulp. "Still good though."

Miley was watching her in amusement. "You know, most people over the age of five just wait ten seconds for their food to cool off, and then they don't have that problem." Lilly stuck her tongue out at her.

They had just finished eating when Jackson reappeared from wherever he'd gone down the beach, and Miley made him a sandwich too. "Do you think Angel will want one?" she asked, transferring Jackson's from the pan onto a plate.

Jackson snorted. "Who knows?" He took the plate and smiled at her in gratitude. "Your bodyguard is really freakin' weird, Miley, and I say that as someone who lived in a cave for two years and only had dolphins for friends."

Miley shot Lilly a look and Lilly shrugged. The bodyguard thing hadn't been _her_ idea.

"Maybe," Miley said to Jackson. "But she's really good. Like...a puma!" She and Lilly both giggled.

Jackson raised an eyebrow. "A _puma?_" he asked, and the look on his face only made them laugh harder.

After lunch, Lilly and Jackson cleaned up the kitchen. When they were finished Lilly joined Miley on the couch in the living room, where she was flipping through channels on the TV. Jackson stood by them for a moment, clearly ill-at-ease. "You really want to go back out to the beach, don't you?" Miley asked him.

"Yes," Jackson said pathetically. "I'm sorry, I'm glad that you're here, and I want to spend time with you, I really do, but this place is so _creepy_ with all the blinds shut."

"Just go," Miley told him, smiling a little to show she wasn't mad at him.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," he said, making a dash for the door. "I won't stay out long, I promise."

Miley watched him go, worry etched on her face. "He's getting better," Lilly reassured her. "He sleeps inside now. He used to not be able to."

"It's just..." Miley shook her head.

"I know," Lilly said. It was hard how different things were. How different people were.

Miley started flipping through the channels again. "I thought I'd see if there was anything on about Hannah."

"It's like two o'clock," Lilly pointed out. "I don't think there'll be anything on right now. Wait til tonight."

"No," Miley said, shutting off the TV and standing up. "I'll just go get the laptop."

"Miley – " Lilly called after her, trying to get her to wait, but she didn't get a reply. She'd really been hoping to put this off for at least another day or two.

But Miley was back in a minute, laptop open in her arms and already booting up. Lilly watched in silence as Miley's eyes flickered across the screen again and again and her face got progressively stonier. Not even ten minutes had passed when Miley slammed the screen shut.

"Don't worry about it," Lilly said, even though she'd spent the last month doing just that. "Once you get back out there and people see you're better, they'll come around."

Miley moved the laptop over to the chair. "It doesn't matter anyway," she said, positioning herself on the couch so that her head was propped against one of the arms and her legs laid across Lilly's lap. "Not anymore."

"Yes, it does," Lilly said. What was she talking about?

"No," Miley said. "I – "

Over on the kitchen table, Lilly's cell phone started to ring. It had to be someone in her family: no one else ever called on it. She was torn between answering it and ignoring it in favor of hearing what Miley had to say.

"Get it," Miley said.

It was Ben, asking her to meet him at the beach. "I can't right now," she told him. "Miley's back and we..." Miley was motioning that she wanted to say something. "Hang on a sec," she said to Ben, and then put her hand over the phone. "What?"

"Who is it?" Miley asked.

"Ben," Lilly said. "We've been meeting up at the skatepark in the afternoons, but yesterday I told him I've been surfing and now he wants to go to the beach."

"You should go," Miley said.

"No way," Lilly said.

"No, really. I think I'm going to take a nap. Reading all that stuff made me tired."

"Are you sure?" Lilly asked, and when Miley nodded she reluctantly got back on the phone and told Ben she would meet him. When she got changed and came back downstairs, Miley was stretched out on the couch with her eyes closed.

Lilly stayed at the beach for as long as she could force herself to, but she was still back at the house shortly after five. She was worried about Miley, and wanted to know what she'd meant when she said the press didn't matter, what had happened to make her stop caring between yesterday and today.

Jackson was already there when Lilly got back, which made her feel better. He and Miley were at the table talking when Lilly came in from the back porch. "Good," Miley said. "You made it back in time."

"In time for what?" Lilly said.

"I've got some people coming over for a meeting about Hannah stuff," Miley said. "I want you and Jackson to be there."

"Okay," Lilly said, though she didn't know what she or Jackson would have to add to a meeting like that. "What time are they coming?"

"Six," Miley said. A car door slammed out on the driveway and Miley got up from the table and peeked through the blinds on the back door. "Or now. Juliana's early."

Lilly looked down at her damp, sand-encrusted outfit. "I'm gonna go change," she said, and raced upstairs, quickly throwing on some of her other self's classier clothes, glad for the first time of her alternate's expensive sartorial choices. She wanted to at least look like she belonged at this meeting.

Back downstairs, Miley was in the kitchen by the coffeemaker, deep in conversation with a tall, slim Latina woman in a black pantsuit. Lilly sat with Jackson on the couch. "So who is she?" she asked Jackson.

"That's her lawyer," Jackson said. "Juliana Mohr. Miley said her agent, publicist, _and_ business manager are all coming."

"Any idea what the meeting's for?"

Jackson shook his head. "Sorry, but I'm way out of the loop."

The next person to arrive was a well-tanned man in his fifties. Most of his hair had gone to gray, but the smooth way he moved indicated that he was probably still in very good shape under his gray suit, and his piercing eyes didn't miss anything. Miley introduced him as Paul Hadyn, her business manager, but Lilly would have known who he was anyway, because as soon as Miley introduced Lilly, he glared at her and didn't stop for quite some time.

The agent, Jim Reiss, and the publicist, Denise Butler, showed up one right after the other shortly before six. They squeezed in on the couch with Lilly and Jackson while Paul and Juliana took chairs on either side and Miley stood next to the TV, facing everyone.

"So we've obviously got a situation on our hands," Miley started, which seemed to be the cue for everyone to start talking.

"Don't worry," Denise said. "I've prepared a statement for you to make – "

"You need to get right back into the swing of things," Jim said. "I've got you lined up to – "

"Those bitches at the label have been trying to use this to fucking screw us over in the renegotiations," Juliana said. "But I told them to fucking suck – "

"I didn't call you here to talk about damage control," Miley said loudly. "I have an announcement to make."

Jim, Denise, and Juliana fell silent. Lilly straightened on the couch and shot a look at Jackson. She'd been wondering why Miley had wanted them included in this meeting, and this must be it. It sounded important.

Miley took a deep breath. Definitely important, Lilly thought, wondering why Miley hadn't said anything to her ahead of time. "I've decided – " Miley started, but the sound of keys in the lock made her stop and drew all their eyes to the front door, which swung open a second later.

Robby Ray stood on the doorstep.

Everyone was frozen for a minute. At this point, he was the last person Lilly, Miley, or Jackson expected to see, and Lilly guessed he hadn't been expecting a crowd in his living room, though she didn't know how much he even noticed any of them, his eyes were so locked on Miley. Then he stepped forward, pushed by the blonde woman who stepped through the door after him. "Miley," Robby Ray said. He took another step forward, then stopped.

Lilly expected Miley to throw herself at him, the way she had with Jackson, but all Miley did was cross her arms over her chest, and clear her throat, and say, "Hey, Daddy. Hey, Candice."

"Are you all right?" Robby Ray asked. "I didn't know if you'd be here. I – we were on the beach in Thailand the last month, we didn't...We came as soon as we heard."

"We were so worried, Hannah-kins," Candice added, so deceptively earnest that Lilly would have instantly disliked her even if Miley hadn't already told her how horrible she was.

Miley crossed the room slowly and for a second Lilly thought she was going to hug her father, but Miley just walked around them and shut the door. "I'm fine," she said, unconcernedly, like she'd just fallen down and scraped her knee instead of gone to rehab, like it hadn't been killing her that Robby Ray hadn't shown up until now. "Don't want to leave that open, it's only a matter of time until the paparazzi find out I'm back. You guys are just in time for my announcement."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Robby Ray asked.

Miley ignored him. "You remember Jim and Denise, don't you, Daddy?" She retreated back to the other side of the room. "And of course, you know Paul and Juliana."

"Sure, sure," Robby Ray said, waving to them as they said hello. "Miley – "

"And Jackson's here," Miley said quietly.

That brought her father up short. He really looked at the couch for the first time, eyes flicking over Lilly without any sign of recognition before settling on Jackson. Lilly looked down at her lap. He was almost a second father to her, and now he didn't know her.

"Hi, dad," Jackson said.

"Jackson," Robby Ray said. "It's good to see you. I didn't think you'd be here."

"Yeah, well, he came as soon as _he_ heard," Miley said bitterly, and Lilly saw pain in both Jackson and Robby Ray's eyes.

"Miley," Robby Ray said.

"I'm quitting," Miley said. It was so far from anything Lilly had expected Miley to say that it took her a moment to figure out what she'd meant. Everyone else seemed to be having a similar problem.

"I'm quitting," Miley said again into the silence. "No more Hannah."

There was another beat of silence, then the room exploded into noise.

"You can't just quit!" Jim said.

"Miley, are you sure about this?" said Robby Ray.

"There's no need for anything this drastic!" Denise said. "I guarantee you with the right press we can spin – "

"Now you don't mean that," Candice said.

"I'm certain this is not a decision Miley made lightly," Paul said. "Perhaps we should – "

"You're under contract!" said Jim. "And I've already got you booked for – "

"Technically, she's not under contract," Juliana broke in. "Weren't you fucking listening?"

Miley held up a hand but everyone kept talking, their voices rising and blending together until Lilly couldn't tell who was saying what, and frankly she didn't care. She was still trying to come to terms with Miley's announcement. How could Miley want to quit? She loved being Hannah.

Finally, Jackson put his fingers in his mouth and let out a piercing whistle that got everyone to shut up.

"Thank you, Jackson," Miley said, nodding to him. Lilly got up and went to stand behind Miley in silent support. Even if she didn't understand it, she wasn't going to let Miley think for even a second that Lilly wouldn't be there for her. Jackson did the same thing once he saw what Lilly was doing.

"This isn't a negotiation," Miley continued. "I didn't bring you here to ask your opinions. I brought you here to _tell you_ that I'm quitting. Deal with it."

"Robby, darling, she doesn't mean that," Candice said, pouting. She draped herself over his shoulder and Lilly could barely keep her lip from curling in disgust. "It's ridiculous. Tell her she can't do it."

Jackson started to say something but Miley silenced him with a brusque hand gesture. Every eye in the room fastened on Robby Ray, waiting to see what he would say. You'd better pick your words carefully, Lilly thought darkly.

"I think," he said slowly. "That Miley needs to do what's best for her, and if right now she thinks performing isn't it, then that's it. End of story."

Lilly felt some of the tension leave Miley's body and she put a hand on Miley's shoulder, squeezing it slightly. Miley turned her attention back to the other occupants of the room, Lilly and Jackson flanking her. "Juliana, can you take care of the label?" she asked.

"Fuck yes," the attorney said, her smile all teeth. "I'm gonna love telling those cocksuckers to fuck off."

Miley nodded. "Do it politely."

Candice had been whispering in Robby Ray's ear; now her voice rose to a high-pitched whine they could all hear. "But, Robby, she can't quit!"

"Now, Candice," Robby Ray started, looking embarrassed.

"But you said Hannah would put me in her next video and talk to Leonardo about me being in his new project with her!" Candice said, pulling away from him.

"That's it," Miley said grimly. Everyone looked at her but she wasn't paying them any attention. Her eyes were too busy boring holes into Candice. The tension had come back to her body, Lilly could feel it trembling slightly under her hand and she rubbed her thumb in a little circle, trying to calm her. "I've had about enough of this shit. Five million dollars, and you get the hell out of our lives and we don't have to look at the fake nose on your Botoxed, collagen-injected face anymore. One time offer."

"Miley," Robby Ray said, sounding at a loss. He looked back and forth between his daughter and his wife. "Candice."

Candice ignored him and stared at Miley for a long moment. "Fifty," she said.

Robby Ray's jawed sagged open and it looked like a light had gone out in his eyes. He let out a strangled sort of cough, as though someone had vacuumed all the air out of his lungs.

"Done," Miley said. "You'll be hearing from my lawyer. Now get out."

Candice looked at Robby Ray and shrugged. "Sorry, baby," she said. "But we had some good times, didn't we?" He blinked at her and she shrugged again and turned on her heel, striding out the door without another word or a backwards glance.

"Juliana," Miley said. "Paul."

"On it," Juliana said.

"Good ridd – " Paul glanced quickly at Robby Ray and changed what he was going to say. "I mean, I'll take care of it."

"I think we're done here," Miley said. "Go do whatever it is I pay you to do." Within a minute, the room was cleared of everyone except Lilly, Miley, Jackson and Robby Ray. Jim and Denise fairly stalked to the door, while Paul and Juliana said their goodbyes to both Miley and an unresponsive Robby Ray before leaving.

The room seemed much bigger with only the four of them in it, but somehow not quite big enough, the space between Miley and her father filled with shattered beliefs. "Why?" Robby Ray said. His voice broke at the end and he cleared his throat. "Why would you – " He stopped and shook his head.

"Daddy," Miley said. "I'm sor – "

"I think we're done here," Robby Ray cut in. Miley flinched and he went up the stairs, not looking at them.

Miley's head dropped and her shoulder stiffened into knots under Lilly's hand. "Miley," Lilly tried, and Jackson said, "Miles, it'll be okay."

Miley didn't answer, jerking away from Lilly and walking slowly across the room and out the back door. A minute later, she'd disappeared onto the beach.

———————————————

It wasn't hard to find Miley. She couldn't really go far without risking running into people and starting a riot, so Lilly figured out pretty quickly that she'd be down the beach just a bit, in a little hollow between some rocks that left you sheltered on three sides but still provided an unobstructed view of the ocean. Miley had used to go there all the time, to think about things. That usually meant she wanted to be left alone, and Lilly respected that. Up to a point.

But when an hour had gone by and Miley hadn't come back, Lilly went looking for her. She didn't want Miley sitting out there all alone stewing over what had just happened. Especially not when it was her second day back from rehab and there were about twenty bars within walking distance. If Miley got desperate enough, she might not care about starting a riot.

Besides, Lilly justified as she neared the spot on the beach, it would be dark soon. The sun was slowly sinking towards the horizon, turning the sky a brilliant orange.

"Hey," Lilly said, rounding the rocks and finding Miley sitting on the other side, knees drawn up to her chest. Lilly sat down next to her and copied her posture, resting her chin on her knees.

"Hey," Miley answered, her voice lifeless. "I really screwed everything up, didn't I? Daddy probably hates me now."

"No!" Lilly exclaimed. "Miley, no. He doesn't hate you, he's just been hurt – "

"Because I made his wife leave him," Miley said bitterly.

"Because he just found out his wife was a gold-digger who only wanted his money," Lilly corrected. "Just give him a little time, he'll be thanking you for this."

"We'll see," Miley said stubbornly.

Lilly sighed and put an arm around Miley's shoulders, pulling her closer. "It'll be okay," she said. "I promise."

Miley buried her face in Lilly's hair. "You smell good," she said.

Lilly pulled away and laughed, regarding her with extreme skepticism. "I do not. I didn't have time to take a shower. I smell like sunscreen and sweat and salt water."

"I know," Miley said. "You smell like Lilly. I missed it."

Lilly just shook her head, smiling a little. She'd call Miley crazy, but she knew herself how you could miss things here, stupid things, things you never thought you would. "Are you sure?" she asked. "About quitting Hannah, I mean."

"Yes," Miley said. She picked up a broken seashell and started tracing random patterns in the sand with it. Lilly almost prodded her to elaborate, but a look at Miley's face decided her against it.

"I told you before," Miley said after a minute, "that I haven't done a concert sober in a year. I'm not sure if I know how to do it clean anymore." She paused. "But besides that..." She trailed off and jabbed the seashell into the sand, gouging out a thin, deep trench. "For a long time, singing, performing, it was what kept me going after I got here. But, more and more, after I started drinking, it just felt...empty. Like I was going through the motions. That's why I took the Ecstasy when Traci gave it to me, why I kept taking it. It made me feel connected again, to everyone, just for a little while. Then I'd come down and I'd be alone again, and I'd take a drink to make myself forget." She stopped and dug the trench longer and a little deeper.

"And I can't...," she continued. "I can't do this, I can't learn how to live sober again with everyone watching. It's too much pressure. I don't think I'm strong enough to give them what they want and hold onto myself at the same time." She jabbed the shell into the sand several times. Lilly waited to see if she'd say anything else.

"I just need to stop," Miley said finally. "I need to stop being Hannah and remember what it's like to be me."

"Okay," Lilly said. "Then that's what we'll do."

Miley tossed the shell away, used her hand to push the sand she'd displaced back into the gash, smoothing it over. "Thanks," she said. The corners of her mouth turned up the tiniest bit as she looked at Lilly, then she turned her head to stare out at the ocean and the red ball sun that was inches away from dipping into it.

"So what about your hair?" Lilly asked, tangling her fingers in it and tugging lightly. "Are you gonna dye it back?"

Miley's smile was bigger this time. "No," she decided. "At least, not right away. I think I'll wait a few months until people start to forget about me and then do it. Maybe that way I'll be able to go out without getting recognized all the time. It would be nice to be able to walk down the street without getting mobbed."

"Yeah," Lilly agreed. She mirrored Miley and looked out at the waves, which were reflecting the orange and purple of the sky. They had their whole lives in front of them, she realized. And here, where they didn't have parental expectations they were obligated to fulfill, and with Miley quitting Hannah, those lives were as wide open as the ocean in front of them. They could do anything, anything at all. It was strangely freeing.

"What are we going to do?" Lilly asked.

"What?" Miley said.

"I was just thinking that we still have our whole lives to go," Lilly said. "And no one can tell us what to do with them. Not our parents, not your agent, not even Angel. We have to decide for ourselves. It's kind of weird to think about."

"It's scary," Miley said. Which was also true.

"Yeah," Lilly said. She reached over and took Miley's hand, threading their fingers together, and they watched as the sun set into the water. "But we'll figure it out. You and me. Together."

———————————————

**END**

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**All right, there you go. I hope you guys liked it. Still have questions? Well, gosh. I guess you'll just have to read the sequel then, won't you?**

**Speaking of, you're gonna have to give me a few weeks on that. I've got a whole lot of school/job#1/job#2/family crap coming my way in the next couple weeks, starting...right after I post this, actually. Fun! (And I just spent yesterday sending out applications for job#3, because HI I'M CRAZY. Clearly.) Plus the sequel is going to be much, much longer than this was, and I need some time to gear up for that. And I would like to be able to, you know. **_**Read**_** fic. At some point.**

**I'll try to put up a couple oneshots if I get a chance, but if not, thanks again for reading and I'll see y'all in October.**


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